It seems like the worst elements of this mess come from not controlling what goes into the sewage system and using it as a trash can.
If you're offgrid you can control what goes into your sewage system, so you don't need to worry about chemical contaminants.
Why not use an indian deenbandhu small scale biogas plant and make biochar out of the slurry output if you can't compost it for long enough to neutralize any health concerns before returning it to the soil?
Ideally I would either make compost out of the output, or burn it as the heat source in a Stirling Engine Combined Heat and Power generator. I have made other posts about the stirling and the biogas and compost both would be good fuel sources for it...
...and thats if you don't want to just compost, right?
The bigger issue, to me, is that biogas is like 25x more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, and a bunch of home biogas plants are sure to leak it in ways that are impossible to regulate. So aerobic decomposition seems like it has a significant edge in being better for the environment from a realistic perspective.