Dez Choi

pollinator
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since Jul 18, 2020
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Biography
Seeking peace through working with nature.. homestead, permaculture, laziness-inspired efficiency standards.. this is my jam! Born into consumerism 'merica, i knew of nothing else. in the midst of ravenously wanting more and better 'stuff'.. my heart quietly wished for a different kind of, less contradictory, way to live life on earth. Working to pay bills for several decades didn't make sense to me, but i figured everyone else knew something i had not. so i followed. but i was overwhelmed. today, i stoke the fire of strong desire to seek simplicity. looking forward to meeting like-minded people!
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Recent posts by Dez Choi

July 3 2025
Zoeland serene
1 month ago
Inge and Hans—thank you :)

Once there were three roommates
Zachary
Sofia
Charlie
Zachary was the newest addition to the roommate situation
A gentle
Considerate
Joyful person..
and prior when it was just the two girls a nice rhythm of communication and co existing had been found
It was a pleasant way
It was three people
getting along
Co existing well but still getting to know each other
 One night the window was left open and the fan running
Charlie doesn’t usually like the noise of the fan during her rest because because
Sofia doesn’t really mind fan on or off as long as the window is open
Zachary loves the fan on because of the white noise and air circulation
He has a thing for fresh air you see
They all got along well because each were very considerate roommates
This particular night was a specially cold night
And all three of them woke up uncomfortably cold
Each of them wished for warmth
Or at least less cold
Or less wind from the fan
Later after everyone was awake and discussing
“How’d you sleep?”
“Okay.. but maybe a bit cold..”
And all three agreed about the cold
Zachary thanked the original roommate for their consideration and explained
That as much s as he likes the fan and window a certain way
If it’s uncomfortably cold
Then anyone can take the initiative to seek adjustments as necessary
Even if it could mean that the others might prefer something else..

All three agreed
And accepted the permission to make an executive decision about discomforting coldness..

This is the essence
Of communication in Co existing
All three had suffered a little that night
because nothing was said
Turning the fan off would have been saying something non verbally of course
For which there may have been a consequence
And yet there came a consequence anyway
Of an uncomfortably cold night for all the roommates

The three had found a new rhythm
that was good
And established another inch of trust between them
Based on considering the other while communicating individual needs
The next night they tried sleeping with the window open but the fan off
It was less cold
A bit warmer and lighter in their hearts
Knowing they each had each other’s wellness in mind
And it made room for communicating other things about living together
More available approachable kind
2 months ago
Following up..
What is it about 40 that prompts such shifts in mind body spirit?
 Apparently my body is speaking louder to me than before, through a rash on the skin.. the root cause seems to be leaky gut.. and I seek to acknowledge the message from my body and improve my diet breathing and exercise habits..
 Coincidental that histamine sensitivity began after my fermentation tour in which my dosage of homemade probiotics was at an all time high.. could the two be correlated? Maybe I over dosed on kimchi.. too much of anything could be counter productive.. watching some wimhoff—perhaps I’m lacking oxygen, as my breathing pattern was shallower than ever since 2021.. now I’m getting back into yoga and stretching practice.. and slowly introducing variety into my diet after going carnivore for 3 months.. my faith in God is gaining a traction that’s new to me..
 Update on father son relationship—I saw my dad a month ago and through a rather emotional conversation realized that he simultaneously hates and loves my existence.. hates that I haven’t met the potential that he sees in me but only cares so much because of his great love for his son.. perhaps a feeling I can only imagine until I have a child of my own.. understanding anew this element of our relationship I was able to recognize the heavy and unnecessary grasp of “seeking fathers approval”.. it was a feeling that no one wanted for me to carry—not father nor son.. yet here I was thinking and believing subconsciously that this was somehow of primary importance.. it isn’t.. father loves son—this is the primary.. approval or disapproval is quite irrelevant as long as I do my very best—and to this I can profess that I indeed have..    
 the frustration of seeing someone miss their “potential” is a farce.. respectfully, and definitely valid, this specific frustration is in fact the heavy weight that father himself carries on his shoulder.. and in my empathy of witnessing such a burden on fathers shoulder I chose at some point to hopefully lighten that load by becoming a great success.. something father could easily be proud of.. is it easy to be proud of a son that can fart as a newborn? Yes.. is it just as easy to expect a bigger and better fart as the son grows older? Yes.. but let’s not get caught up in the farts.. the moment a parent chooses to expect bigger and better from their child is when the mirror shows up.. and that can become stinky pretty fast..
 I love my father. And I now know that he loves me despite the simultaneous frustration feelings (which he has chosen to carry, respectfully).. to me love is acceptance as one is.. and to make my father proud, I will be successful in doing my best even if I don’t reach his vision of my potential.. to be human and humane.. to potentially be a bumbling fool on the way to becoming kind and generous.. to utterly fail at reaching society’s standards while upholding my personal values.. to dropping the superfluous in reaching for the essential.. humbly yet unapologetically as I am.. taking full and radical responsibility and improving every day.. this is my very best, and I’m sure father can be proud of that.. and so can I..
 it’s up to us to encourage our own human sometimes.. I Hope this sheds some light in the world dear and beloved children.. you are loved and lovable..
 Happy Thursday
Yours truly
Z
2 months ago
Tim and Inge!
Hello!
Here the weather is fair
And the blessings abound..
It’s great to hear from you :)
2 months ago
Alex
Granted
And more to come
2 months ago
Post 4.2
June 17, 2025
Adventures
2 months ago
June 15 2025
Zoeland is looking nice
2 months ago
Back again! Got a few weeks this time..
Arrived on Saturday June 14, 2025
As the sunset was reaching horizon

First day I spoke with most of the cats.. they’re doing good

Second day I communed with the baby kitties.. one I’ve named French Bean (after Frances Prances and Bean as an homage to their super friendly energy).. all gray and comes up to greet you.. probably Gandalfs with Roez genetics..

Today .. Oh I dunno.. maybe more cats

The focus this season is healing and organizing..
And I happen to be here during health week!
2 months ago
Hey J
What’s your most-exciting facet in greening your desert?
Z
5 months ago
Hey K
What are you most and or  repeatedly grateful for these days?
(Aside from the obvious occasional office rerun of course)
Z
5 months ago