Ben Child

Cody Hahn wrote:

Thanks Bro, life has gotten even better with a partner . I was a hermit for the longest

Nothing wrong with being a hermit for a good long stretch. Out of curiosity Ben, did you manage to meet your woman and now wife here on Permies (no need to say whom)? Or did you cross paths with her in the flesh somewhere from the get-go, perhaps right over in the Ozarks? Interested in how you finally found her. Maybe she found you.

I actually had given up even trying , stopped dating , and had embraced being single. I have a good friend , that had another friend  ,wanting to live separate from society . She came here and never left . Best thing ive ever known. it was very organic

Cody Hahn wrote:Ben! Dude, good to hear from you on here. It's been a while, but man what a lovely update and outcome for you. Finally! And married? Man, that is awesome. Glad for you man.

Hope things have been playing out well on that Ozarks homestead you've been plugging away at for the last little while. I remember looking through some of those photos a couple years ago and man, what a lovely location and region.

Thanks Bro, life has gotten even better with a partner . I was a hermit for the longest

a short update. ive been off the sight for awhile.  I found me a great woman almost two years ago and got married a little over a year ago . it goes to show ya, regardless of how different you are , there is a match for ya, somewhere. not looking for a mate, but we would welcome some well adjusted , low drama , stoic minded individuals , that want to help shepherd the flocks, milk goats, etc..

Michael Adamson wrote:A competition or some kind of trial would be a good test of any kind of friendship, but I like Ben's idea better.  I told myself that my next romantic interest will have to be a good friend and positive influence on my life for three years before I allow romance.  This would avoid the whole pretending you're something you're not phase.  Sadly though, it seems that one is thought of as a crazy person these days for believing in the sacredness of sexual energy and intenional procreation.  One woman said, "You mean we're not gonna..." and made a hand gesture as I was asking her to leave.  The pursuit of pleasure in our culture has eclipsed the pursuit of happiness.

As far as the caveman thing goes, it can sound like a dark subject, but I've read plenty of studies that suggest women are instinctinely turned on by fantasies of being "taken", and seen almost every woman I know date dumb, violent men that subconsciously scratch that itch.  So even though I was poking fun with the caveman thing, there might be something deeper to it.  The whole weak men creating bad times thing might have something to do with our cultutal mate selection trends.  Humans are funny animals.

Anyway, I found another funny picture to post.

Bro, if I was a woman , I think I’d be pretty impressed with your emotional intelligence ..I wish you were closer , cause I thing we’d be pretty good bros.. seems we are on a very similar path and I don’t see that often , at all

Nicole Blank wrote:Sebastian, I found your post full of wisdom, thank you! Those are very good thoughts.

I've been through a lot of life, looking at me you'd never know it, but I have, I've just never found anyone who could handle that.

And Ben lol! I guess I walked into that question but yes actually, I'd go anywhere if it was with the right person. I don't love money and I don't love stuff, I just came to realize this year, that I don't want to be alone forever. Growing up I was fine being single, I loved it actually! But I hit 30 and just realized wouldn't it be more fun to do your favorite things with someone, or just be with someone doing nothing.

I get that , for sure ..I’ve done a lot of traveling , alone ..climbed up the great divide a couple years ago ..it was such an incredible experience , but I wanted to see someone else’s face , as they looked and shared of the experience ..some things are just better, together ..I imagine ..I love my alone time , but sometimes my own company , is lacking

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Nicole Blank wrote:

For anyone's clarification...I do not wish to be hit over the head and dragged into a cave.😉

But would you desire to go into a cave , without such pressures? This area is known as the land of a thousand caverns ..they are everywhere ..some hold secrets , that few have seen.

Nicole Blank wrote:So after going back and reading my post implying a battlefield setting, as a couples test, and contemplating on the posts that followed, I was utterly mortified by what it must have looked like I was implying. I thought about removing that post because it's not written very well to reflect what I was trying to convey, but I thought about it and decided, that's life, it doesn't always come out sounding the right way. However I was mortified and would like to clarify what I was trying to convey.

I'll bring it to a more personal level, as I feel I would communicate my point better, when it comes to dating or relationships, I've been on perfect Hollywood movie dates, where everything was in a sterilized, controlled, clean environment, and I've found myself sitting across the table wondering to myself, you know everything is so perfect here in this moment, but would you really stick around if it wasn't. What if everything was a total mess, what if everything was falling apart and it was completely out of our control, would you stay with me?

I've been around lots of pretty boys, and I've thought to myself, you would kill over and die if you ran out of hair gell, or total apocalypse lost your cell phone, would you really stay with me if things got bad.

In today's day and age, in my opinion that is, it doesn't seem like very many couples stay together, that's scary to think about when your trying to find your special someone, the thought is always there in the back of my mind...would you leave me if stuff got rough?

I've often wondered, what is the deciding factor in finding that perfect spouse who would stick with you no matter what. The age old question, is love really enough for you?

Which leads me to what I was trying to convey using a battlefield setting, it's a setting that is full of unknowns, it's unpredictable and it's a mess, your chances of survival go up if you have a partner and stick together, work together like a team, so many people (guys) have told me they desire someone to work as a team with them, a team stays together. How do you know if you've actually found that person that will stay?

I've seen so many relationships break apart, or unhappy couples, it's very scary to think about even attempting a relationship/marriage, on the flip side of that I've seen couples make it through so much hell I marvel at them, and I want that🙂 I've just always wondered is there a test or deciding factor to who will make it and who won't.

That's what I was trying to imply earlier, it came out sounding very wrong and I'm very sorry about that, I don't always convey what I mean perfectly, it was my fault.

For anyone's clarification...I do not wish to be hit over the head and dragged into a cave.😉

I can relate to most of that ..loyalty is a rare thing these days. .For me, I just decided I wasn’t gonna start off dating anyone ..I’m gonna be friends long enough to get a realistic idea of how we get along , without the expectations of conformity ..it’s worked well , in the sense that I have good female friends , that I’m thankful for. I saw, with time , that there wasn’t this overwhelming attraction , so things just stay there.. I’m either gonna have something epic or I’m gonna stay perpetually single ..

Big hugs for everyone 😂

Nicole Blank wrote:Actually Ben, it's been a desire of mine for many years to creat a child's coloring book or books, I love working with children and how excited they are with artistic mediums.

That’s pretty cool. My writing is along the style of the chronicles of Narnia , kind of a continuation of that theme ..I love metaphors and parables . I think they work , sometimes , better than most alternatives ..anyway , I’m gearing my stories and my park into this theme, ..that’s the tik tok thing I got going ..right now , I’m trying to primarily make it good for people with disabilities , but I’m gonna use the same theme for childrens stories and coloring books

Nicole Blank wrote:It was brought to my attention, when I posted that I'm an artist and ink is my favorite, it may be assumed I'm referring to tattoos, so I shall clarify, I'm an artist I draw and I prefer to ink my work, I love how vibrant the colors of ink show up in my artwork, also for anyone's interest, I do not have or plan to get any tattoos, although if you have them I don't have a problem with that.

Could you create a intricate coloring book ?