Please look up Laura Doyle on you tube. She also has a web sight, podcasts and books.
It sounds like you do not know how to set your husband up to get a win/points by pleasing you. As you say you pretty much do every thing. It sounds like you are the alpha in your marriage. Being an alpha female in marriage is exhausting.
Have you let your husband know what makes you happy? I'm guess you have told him what you want him to do. Kind of like telling a child. Not fun and puts you in the ick mom roll. Do you know what makes you happy? It would be a good skill to learn how to step in to your femininity and embrace your ability to receive.
Your kids need their dad. It sounds like your husband is a good man. The great thing about Laura D information is that you don't have to drag him to any counseling session that don't work anyway. If this speaks to you do listen to a Laura Doyle podcast. That's where I learned how to do my self care and enjoy my feminine energy of receiving.
It is a gift to the giver to receive gracefully.
