Dan T 2026 by
Daniel Truax, on Flickr
Hello, my name is Dan.
Don’t waste your time: Only read the bold points you are interested in.
If I pass your filter then maybe read the rest.
Burn the haystack, maybe I’m a shiny piece of metal.
Who am I?
I’m a 51-year-old single dad, son and brother. I’m a jack of all trades, master of some. (5’10”/178cm 165#/75kg)
What am I looking for?
A life partner to join me at my budding homestead to build something that nurtures ourselves and others. A woman who roughly matches the most of my values.
What do I do?
I work days for a local company in Upstate New York USA (dairy cow country, not city). I have an 18-minute commute to a small college city called Oneonta. When I get home, I immediately take the pitbull for a 15-minute walk on the trails around my property. Then I get to work on the homestead, we are currently adding a shed off the side of the house to keep the tractor and firewood in out of the rain. This winter we’ll be building a multi-ton masonry stove inside to heat the house. At 7pm I stop reluctantly, and exercise, shower, relax, pass out and repeat. On Thursdays we have dinner with my mom who lives 5 minutes away. My weekends consist of doing the same projects for 12 hours a day. I like to travel at least once a year to see something new. This constant work is NOT a preferred lifestyle, it’s just what is required at this time to make our lives functional.
Who do I live with?
I live with my daughter, a difficult but independent 17-year-old red head who is in her Senior year of high school, my 2-year-old pit bull, and two asshole cats, who think the dog is their mother.
What is our property like?
10 acres of fields, young hard woods, scrub, and some old pine woods in a swampy area. All on a gentle slope, tons of springs that make wet areas. We have a small stream that runs water all year (except in times of drought) that goes through one corner of my property. The soil is heavy clay. My neighbors are a retired couple and a local farmer’s young female cows (but they can’t see us, I can pee off my back porch without issue). Our house is an unfinished project to say the least. We are working on super-insulating it so I use the minimum amount of firewood. We have electric heat as a backup so we can travel. We have a gray water system for showers and sink water (needs improvements) and a homemade Clivus Multrum composting toilet (also not perfect). We also have really good fiber internet (surprising for such a rural area). The house is two story at 1800 sq feet, open plan, three small bedrooms with two more to build, a toilet room and a shower room. The dining area, kitchen and living room have no defined borders. The animals come and go as they please through a dog door. Outside we have crab apples (native/deer planted), pears, blue berries, elder berries, fart-chokes, and seedless grapes (human planted). We also have yet-to-produce hazelnuts and heart nuts growing around the house that I planted. We plan on starting our own garden again with corn and potatoes next year (we have one at my mother’s, five minutes away but I want ours to be closer) and we would like to plant Chinese chestnuts in the spring. (We try a new perennial every year, this year we added blight resistant American Chestnuts, they all died). Next spring’s project is to make the chicken house, I’ve had chickens in the past and miss egg farming dearly. I also co-own land with my mother, much more than we could ever use. We have deer, turkey, skunks, bobcats and coydogs that share the property with us. We have enough uninstalled solar hot water tubes and uninstalled solar panels and inverters to go off grid in the future. Missing the battery bank.
What are my beliefs?
I am not religious, but I am spiritual. I believe in the golden rule. I am this way, not because I fear hell or look for the reward of heaven, but simply because that is who I am. I do not fear death (I do fear leaving others behind who rely on me, so I don’t compromise my safety or health). I try to minimize the negative impacts of my existence, minimize the use of fossil fuels and natural resources. We live by “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without”. I do eat meat; I get a lot of my animal protein from eggs and look forward to egg farming again. I treat pets as I do humans, and I treat farm animals as farm animals, as best I can and make their lives as comfortable as I can. Politics? I believe women should be able to defend their right for an abortion with fully automatic firearms. This makes the left and the right equally uneasy. I obviously hold some liberal and conservative views, but mostly libertarian (for the individual, not for corporations). Vaccines? Some are great tools to prevent sickness, others are unnecessary. The vaccine I recently got and value was my shingles vaccine, having had painful shingles outbreaks before. I guess the last thing to cover is that I don’t believe in gender defined roles, I can cook, clean and wipe an ass as well as I can rebuild a car engine. I’ve taught my daughter these values as well. We avoid any chemical pesticides; I do apply flea meds to the cats and dogs monthly (wish there was a better working alternative) and worm them in the spring and fall.
Our community?
It is a small one-traffic-light-town. One gas station, one bank, volunteer fire department, a dollar general, several small businesses. The school is one of the last to resist combining with other schools. My daughter is in her senior year and there are 25 kids in her senior class, The junior class is 6 kids. A few dairy farmers survive in the area, lots of Amish are moving in and restoring some farms. There is an Amish grocery store right down the road from us. Most of the residents are MAGA loving Trump supporters, a few vocal far left liberal homesteads, the rest are moderates like myself. I get along with them all, even if I don’t see the world the way they do. Neither political side is really helping out the locals. Our U.S. House of Representative is Josh Riley (Democrat) who is a moderate and I believe actually cares for his constituents and works toward our interests.
What do I put in my body?
I have been sober for two years now. I used to be a highly functioning alcohol-use-disorder-person. Two bottles of vodka a week. I chose to stop. If you drink it is not a big deal. I have booze in my house for guests. Not drinking is a daily choice I make. I try to eat as much as I can from my own soil. I’m am nowhere near to my goals with this. I lost my previous homestead to my separation (3 years now, amicable divorce in progress) and my daughter and I are in survival mode making a summer camp a year-round home. I avoid artificial sweeteners, extra sugar, and can’t eat wheat (Celiac disease). I take a daily allergy pill and multivitamin. My starches are potatoes and corn (which I can grow myself) and rice. We use peanut oil for high temperature frying, and I make my low temperature dressing from olive & fish oil for the correct balance of omega’s. We cook the majority of our own food from scratch and rarely eat out. I generally eat a high protein, high fiber, high fat diet with limited carbohydrates. I don’t expect others to eat as I do. I do participate in an annual spiritual home-grown “trip” which cleans out the attic and was a huge catalyst to me becoming sober. The previous sentence conflicts with the first, I know.
Who am I appropriate for?
I would be appropriate for a woman who could never have kids, I could also deal with a mother with three kids who has her shit together. I enjoy the role of being a father-figure to kids who are not mine on a regular basis. I tolerate a wide range of things. I am appropriate for a woman who needs an honest, loving, loyal, smart/hard working and patient man. I can wear the pants when appropriate and then give the leadership of the home over to her, when she is the subject matter expert or because it makes her happy.
What can’t I tolerate?
Dishonesty. We all deceive ourself and others to some extent, none of us are perfect. My marriage failed due to lying, lack of trust and no real honest communication. Maintaining a relationship takes intentional thoughtful effort. It’s not easy. Someone much wiser than me said the key to making it work was “putting up with each other’s bullshit”. Bullshit I don’t tolerate is laziness, lying, or negligent wasting of time, money, food or effort. Life is just too short. I do tolerate mistakes, I make a ton myself, admit when I’m wrong, and try to learn from my errors. Relationships are much easier to maintain when the majority of our values and goals align.
What is my personality like?
I am an autodidactic polymath and an undocumented dyslexic, a pretty fart smeller. I am an INT/FJ The thinker feeler scores out around 50 percent. I am an empath. I had to learn to turn down my empathic side as a child to survive, I have a hard time looking others in the eyes as a result. I sometimes forget to turn it back up. My daughter is also an empath. I incorrectly use joking, teasing and picking on to communicate affection. My dark sense of humor has allowed me to survive. If an EMT found me with my right arm crushed in an auto accident and told me they would have to cut it off to free me, I’d make a joke about having to learn how to wipe my ass with my left hand. I’m very calm and only really get excited when I am on fire. I abhor violence, physical or verbal. I only resort to violence in defense of others or myself. Even getting mentally prepared face potential violence makes me physically ill afterwords. I cannot tolerate abuse or neglect. My creative intelligence is very high and it sometimes gets me into trouble. Listening is difficult for me, spoken language is too slow for my rate of thought. I find that I have to slow myself down and spend real effort to listen well. I usually put other’s needs in front of my own, but I don’t allow others to take advantage of me. I don’t expect others in my life to work as hard as I do, but I do expect everyone to contribute their fair share. I am not moody, and very emotionally resilient. I wear my heart on my sleeve and freely communicate my feelings when allowed.
Sex?
This is an important under looked aspect of a healthy relationship. You could invest a lot of time and energy into becoming friends with someone only to take the relationship a step farther and find that you are incompatible. So, if your libido is more than once a day, I am NOT your guy, also if your libido is not at least once a week, I am also not your guy. Whatever I lack in physique or skill I usually make up in pure enthusiasm.
Hobbies?
If I made the time I’d do a lot more off-road motorcycling. I’m always up for travel and new experiences. Love learning new skills. Love to cook, garden, build, fix, DIY and upcycle. I like to watch a good TV show sometimes before I crash for the night with someone else, or play a computer strategy game by myself to unwind. After this winter I intend to join the volunteer fire department and try a local martial arts class. I hate shopping and watching sports on TV. I have a huge music collection, of wide range, which I constantly listen to. I prefer watching a sunset on the back porch over a loud public space any day. But I do like a good concert occasionally.
I’ve painted a picture of my life, in some ways, the way you received this painting is much worse or better than reality. I have a twelve-book backstory on how I got here, but I’m much more interested in where we are going. If you want to know more, please message me. At the very least, you won’t be bored, there are too many layers to this onion.
20260703_102526 by
Daniel Truax, on Flickr
A Screenshot 2026-10-04 210616a copy by
Daniel Truax, on Flickr
