Pearl Sutton

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since Oct 02, 2015
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Recent posts by Pearl Sutton

Oh that sucks! I'm so sorry. :(

Your pizzas look yummy!
Your basil looks lush!
I have talked to guys in thrift stores, sometimes it's fun, sometimes I get looked at weird. Part of it is how I (and other women) shop as a sport, and most of the guys are just grabbing anything that fits and getting out. I'm into having fun with it, and guys who will play are always good. I tend to ask guys shopping at Habitat for Humanity or thrift stores "Any idea what this is?" I get into some fun conversations. Old tools and older guys is always fun. So if you are young man  wondering what to say to women try "What is this thing?" if it's something she might know (and no telling what she might know!) I have discussed that sort of thing at grocery stores in the produce area too, what IS this vegetable and how do you prepare it? (I'm the one answering the question, I cook and am obviously buying the things.) It's a great line for a guy to use, gives a lady the chance to say as much or little as she wants. If she doesn't say much, turn to the next lady and say "fennel, huh? I still don't know what to do with it, any idea?"

I have often thought the hardware store needs to do "singles night" come in, get what you need for your projects, and chat up the others. I don't do bars. I do hardware stores.

Dale's comments back there about talk to the grandmas and moms is wise, as is chatting with random women. My best friend married a guy I talked to, I told her "He isn't mine, but you might want to talk to him." Random women are also good practice. If you can say ask a random lady what kind of dog she has, it gets much easier to talk to one you are interested in. Something about some quiet guys I have noticed is they get no practice on anyone, then are surprised when the girl they are attracted to leaves them tongue tied. Talk to strangers, it's great practice.
Oh MY! What nice basil you have there, sir!!

Bet that's not a standard response :)
Helping you bump this!
And I vote you wax that mustache into handlebars and add another picture :) Just because I'm weird. :D

How is the pizza oven bit going?
2 hours ago

Dale Hodgins wrote:
But for the benefit of young fellows who need more game, let's hear from the ladies. Suppose a young fellow is posting himself on a dating site. Do you just want to see his smiling face? What if he's an athlete of some sort and he super ripped. Do you want to see that? I have always figured that if you have some advantage, it should be flaunted. Not necessary in an extreme way. But if that young fellow were competing with guys whose idea of exercise is Xbox and Coca-Cola, I don't think a few Beefcake photos would hurt him at all.

My daughter's weighed in on this. They said that if a guy looks reasonably fit, that's good. But if he's got muscles that come up to touch his ears and his thighs rub together, that's bad. Not so much that they don't like the look as much as they assume that he's a gym rat who is in love with the mirror. When I first started exercising a couple months ago, I was doing it in 3 hours a week. Now that I've split up some of the workouts, I might be up to four and a half hours a week and I don't expect to increase that. To me, that's not a gym rat. I won't be taking any roids and I don't expect to continue until I sound like a kid in a snowsuit because my thighs rub together.

Let's hear it ladies. And let's break it down according to age. If a guy is 25 and he post some photos showing that he's in good shape, is that a negative?

Now suppose that he's 54 like I am, where much of the competition are flabby guys with man boobs. If I were still looking, would it work to my advantage, to display the results of my efforts, if I gave a little blurb explaining just how much time I put into it.

I have been having hard time reading through this thread, I want to comment on close to every post! This one I couldn't pass by though... Not done reading the whole thread, so I may be repeating what others have already come up with. Apologies :)
Augh! My computer ate this, had to write it again...

When I see those pictures I see:
1. A man who is willing to put solid work into achieving his goals.
2. A man who is taking care of his body.
Very positive!
But I also possibly see:
3. A gym rat obsessed with appearances
4. A man trying to impress other guys
5. A guy with no clue what attracts women.
Which are negative.

Being as I have read a lot of Dale's stuff, I realize he's not #s 3-5. The question was if it was a random guy on the net, showing pictures, what would women think?

I was a deep tissue massage therapist for 10 years, I have had my hands on a LOT of people, there's a lot of data points behind my opinions here. I have had the gym rats on my table, and talked to them. Those bulky muscles are masses of scar tissue. When they quit exercising and the muscle loses tone, it all sags. The gym rats tend to be into their own appearance, and the appearance of their women. When the women age, and start to sag, they get tossed aside. When those men age and sag, it's not a good look. In general, that would be a red flag for me if I were a young girl looking for a guy and seeing a 20 something with muscled up pics on the net.

What IS a good look is a guy who does strength AND flexibility exercises. Those guys are strong, bendable, and the muscle is actually only muscle, not scar tissue. Their strength and tone will last their lifetime. My Tae Kwon Do teacher was only about 5 foot 8, and weighed maybe 160 pounds, and was one of the best bodies I have ever had on my table. He drove the big guys nuts. He could lift more than them, jump WAY higher than them (even though they were taller) and bend like a pretzel, as well as wipe the floor with them sparring. He will never sag, there is no scarring in him. The other best male bodies I have had did similar things: strength and flexibility exercises. The gym machines do no flexion, the movements are repetitive and build up scarring on the muscle fibers. Stretching REALLY well works out the damage, leaving only strong, healthy muscles.

It is possible I am not the target market, but bulky muscles look to me like a man is trying to impress or intimidate other guys. Aside from the .. not sure what to call them, what's the gym rat equivalent of tire biter? (I LOVE that word!) whatever they are, the groupie type of women who chase after body builders, aside from them, most women don't seem to find more than some muscles appealing. I have listened to a LOT of women talk, I have never heard one say "that man is so muscled, what a great catch!" I HAVE heard them say "that man is so sweet!" and "This is a man I'll be happy with the rest of my life!" but I have never heard muscles being an important thing to them. I have heard guys think it is to women, but not women who do.

What attracts women is a man who is kind, who puts effort into making her happy, by learning what SHE likes (not what "all  women" like) and making it happen for her. I'm a permie type, a guy who stops by the grocery store and grabs a bouquet of flowers to bring me scores half credit. He tried, since he knows I like flowers. But stop by Lowes and grab me a bare root rose, now THAT impresses me. Because it means you KNOW what I like. One of the best gifts I ever got was a guy who worked with me, he took a lightweight hammer head and put it on a small diameter, longer than normal handle for  me. He KNEW what I would find useful. He had seen me fight with getting both enough leverage and enough control at the same time to drive nails. He paid attention. What I want isn't what other women want, every one is different (all humans are different, this applies to if you are after a guy too!) A guy who pays attention and uses the information well is never going to lack for women.

There is a famous saying "Men give love to get sex, and women give sex to get love." It's pretty accurate, there was a study done years ago (I learned of it in college in the early 80's, so before then.) Would you accept a marriage where there was no sex, all the love, affection, caring, kids, etc everything else you want, but no sex, for the rest of your life? Over 90% of males said no. Around 85% of women said yes. That's a deep thought to consider. Are you offering her what she wants? Or what you want? or what you think a lady should want? I have heard women complain "He works all day, we have sex, he goes to sleep. He never talks to me, never listens." The guy thinks he's providing for her, and satisfying her in bed, that's enough. She doesn't think so. He isn't filling her needs, he's filling what he thinks she should want.

So my opinion on pictures like Dale's is I'd look a bit closer, see where a guy might be on the rest of it, because it shows both positive and possibly negative qualities.
3 hours ago
Raven: if you are still thinking on this, look up "camping solar power." I think I have possibly seen what you are thinking of (possible) and there's a lot of interesting options showing up when I added the word "camping" to the search term.  This place Earth Tech Camping Solar Power  looked like a good start.
4 hours ago
Anne: yeah, that's the stuff. I have cut it before, and there is wire in it. I can't see having a knife blade like that if it doesn't move... if the bit mechanism is just wire cutters. That's why I'm puzzling over it.

Peter: wow. That is a crappy photo. I'm surprised he sold it at all with that. No CLUE what it is :) I'm looking forward to learning!
And I think you win the left handed bacon stretcher one if that kind of chuck was normal for the square bits. If so, I definitely want it, I have square base bits.  Tossing you an apple for the win!

Raven: I bought raw wool, me and mom were fluffing it by hand to stuff into the mattress I made (LOVE IT!!) we wished we had tools like that, sort of. Wonder if they are some odd fluffing things?
7 hours ago

Peter VanDerWal wrote:I recall reading some advice on how to pickup guys: "show up naked, bring beer"

Actually, it's even easier than that to pick them up, the question is how to filter them out. So many men are looking for beautiful arm candy, or a house slave, they'll hit on anything that looks like it may be close. I am not arm candy material, so I get tagged for house slave, since I'm a busy type. It goes from "Oh cool, you can fix cars?" to "fix mine too, and what's for dinner, and why are there no clean towels?"  And you want to believe a guy is actual interested in what do and know, when he just wants a house slave.

What does a REAL guy say and do? How can we recognize them?

I hear "be yourself" well, myself attracts men who want a house slave. Bonus if she can fix cars.

I started this thread to see what wisdom there is out there, not just for me, but for all women. Would appreciate some good input.
7 hours ago
There's a thread here about "How to meet girls: Things every young man should know" and it seems to some of us ladies that some of us could use the same sort of advice, but how to meet good guys worth having. I don't have a clue. I guarantee it. I have been in more bad relationships than I care to think about.

Any wise women out there who want to help out the lost ladies?

8 hours ago

Sarah Koster wrote:I wish a mature, sensible lady would make a thread like this for the women!
I'm having a hell of a time finding anybody online who doesn't give off a predatory vibe. As a woman, I find that pick up lines are a clear signal that I'm not being viewed as a fellow human, but rather as an antelope unto a lion. This obviously is uncomfortable and makes me want to stay away from that person. I'm never going to feel comfortable enough with a dude to be open to a relationship unless he can talk to me like I'm one of the dudes, minus the dirty jokes. Once we've established a basic human connection, the options open but as long as I'm treated as a distinct species I'm gonna make for the woods and hide from the menfolk. They're cannibals, I tell you. Cannibals.

Some days I agree with you. And YES, I'd LOVE a thread like this started by a woman with a clue. I'm pretty certain I'm not one :) And maybe if the women started the thread, the guys would learn from what we said. Who is wise enough to start it for women? (Dale, I think you are disqualified. Or maybe not...) Or I suppose I could start it and see if wise women chime in... Hmmm....

Edit:: How to meet men: Things every young lady should know Done!
8 hours ago

Anne Miller wrote:Pearl, for that tool the details are:

Finely honed double edged knife blade cleanly pierces through the outer skin, insulation and liner construction of flexible round duct and cuts in either direction.

Thumb operated latch opens the tool's compound leverage handles and the jaws of a built-in wire cutter to easily sever the exposed wire rib coil of the duct liner

So it's just a double edged knife with a wire cutter on it? The blade doesn't do it's job with any motion of the jaws? Oh that's weird.
9 hours ago