@Charli Wilson I hear ya. Glad to know I'm not alone ... not glad for our situation just glad to commiserate with someone else.
@Ferne Reid Hrmm ... problem is neither of us is that stereotypical. I'm an architect. I've been planning for months - drawing, designing, sketching, drawing, revising, discussing, planning, consulting, and drawing some more. I'm far from the person who just jumps in and sorts it out as I go ... but I fully recognize that all plans have hiccups and are sometimes more suggestions than written in stone and I'm able to adapt as needed. I used to be a perfectionist, type A, sleep when you die kind of person. All architects are. But I've learned and grown out of that. I've yet to meet anyone who can control me. I am still a perfectionist when it comes to things like making sure the foundation piers of our house are built correctly so our house doesn't collapse on us and constructing a fence so it doesn't have to be redone in less than a year. But I'm fine with a bowl of mac and cheese on the run for supper, wearing clothes a second time as long as they don't smell, and exploring different options for things.
My husband is a perfectionist in worrying that the gallon water jugs all have their handles facing the same direction when we put them in the cabinet, or how we wrap the chain to lock the gate, or where the car is parked in the driveway (ie how close to the grass it is) but would rather just throw something together and call it good when building something that needs to last just so he can get it done and not have to work anymore. He can't sacrifice a few hours of sleep for a week even knowing he could take a nap later in the day so that he can work in the cooler temps of the morning and get something done, because it's not how long he wants to sleep. But hasn't once taken into consideration that in 24 years of marriage I have gotten maybe a handful of full nights of sleep and still manage to get up and work my ass off.
Seriously, the more I talk about this the more I wonder why the hell I've stayed married to him for this long. All we do is argue. Every single thing is a challenge and I'm so sick of it. It's zapping my energy and my joy.