Congratulations Dale, on knowing what you want and asking for what you want. I wonder what tiny fraction of the world does that?
I’d like to add two suggestions I haven’t seen yet-
1. Compassion: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” The Dalai Lama
This sounds squishy, but it’s gritty stuff. It means recognizing very deeply that women are people, with their own goals, flaws, and hurts. Think carefully about what it might be like to be her- and not just the great part, where a pair of gazongas come factory installed.
The rules of life are slightly different for her than for you. Some things come easier - maybe she doesn’t realize how hard it is to walk up and talk to a stranger because strangers are constantly trying to get her attention. Some things are harder- maybe you don’t realize that those double-D’s cause vicious headaches if you can’t afford to replace your bra often enough.
This is HARD, and hard not to take personally. What reasons that have nothing to do with you might make a person not want to talk to you? Maybe she just came from the dentist? Maybe she’d rather talk to that other guy at the gym even though you’re way better looking, because he’s her trainer and she’s paying him by the hour?
2. Luke Skywalker vs. Han Solo: Star Wars was written by a man. If you want to understand women, read more books written by women. (Or consume more of your favorite media as made by, not just starring, women.)
“...I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say these were all written by men.” Jane Austen, Persuasion
If you’re on this site, you like to learn about stuff you don’t understand. If you don’t understand how to put yourself in women’s shoes, fiction is a good way to do this. Read books written by women, not just about or ‘for’ them. Books written *by* women have a variety of different perspectives from male authors and from each other. Read widely. Don’t assume Ayn Rand, Jane Austen, or Louis McMaster Bujold have the last word on LadyThoughts.
Oh, and Dale, have you read this one?