Xyon Orion

Hi Melanie,

Could you share a bit more about yourself and the sort of guy that you're hoping to meet?

Melanie Rocco wrote:I am 35 years, single widow seeking a long term, no jokes, I am bored at night and cant sleep, lonely

Heather Staas wrote:
Folks are impatient too, lol.   I get messaged on dating sites at like 8pm and if I don't respond by 10pm,  they delete the mssg and block me.    I only check the site 3x a week from my office computer,  I don't use it on a phone with constant "on call" alerts.   For the most part I'm unplugged at home.  I'm not really part of the whole "phone in the hand 24/7 need immediate contact" cultural thing.   It's foreign to me.  I've explained and immediately been called a liar, oh boy.    I think we all could model integrity and patience and good will a bit more!    The lack of optimism and faith is so sad!

They really are. If things are not done the exact way they've created in their imagination then they turn into weirdos. Why they can't live in reality is beyond me. Thinking is too hard for a lot of people lately.
I'm sure you've gone into some stores and wonder how the hell some of them actually got the job in the first place, with the way they act and speak to customers.

I'm on the same page as you when it comes to technology. I hate that I reply on my device/phone, even for the things that I have to.
I don't know how old you are, but I remember when both the phone and computer were at home only, and you had to go out to meet-up with someone, and talk on the phone when it was desired. Back when people actually spoke to one another. Recent times...they're a mess.

Yes, I agree. Integrity and patience are quickly disappearing. It really does makes me sad. And not too hopeful for the future of society.

Nicolas Keeton wrote:

Xyon Orion wrote:

Jaimie Mantzel wrote:

Xyon Orion wrote:That sounds like a good idea to me. I've thought the same thing at times throughout my life.
I've even asked friends, on numerous occasions, if they "know anyone that would be a good fit for me". They have mostly said "no" (which seems like a statistical improbability).

Yeah, I'm starting to think there's gotta be a way to make a dating site, or app that incentivizes people to set each other up.  I have some coding experience, and I have a super nerdy coder friend who's been looking for a good project.  Hmmm...

I would join if you and your friend made it. But you may not make any money from it in general (or maybe so little that it isn't worth charging) due to people trying to save as much of it as possible.
"Swiping" has ruined dating to such a noticeable degree online that it deters me from using outlets like that that use that 'method'.

People have lost the ability in the last decade or so to actually meet in person, and they have little to no conversational skill and are scared of everything to do with another person. I've even noticed that people don't really look at you at all when they're speaking to you. And they sometimes do it from a physical distance. Like they can't be bothered or its too much effort for them.
Most people nowadays are a bit (if not more) broken socially.

1) The problem with not charging at all on a dating site would be the developer/owner is stuck with all the cost. A lot of the users are unaware of the cost it takes to run a site, which why I've seen multiple other offgrid dating sites fail after hitting limits on the free tier. I took a slightly different approach on monetization and so far it seems to be working well.

2) The swiping culture is one of the things I hated. All it takes is one bad first photo and you could easily have missed a great connection versus the old school way, where you were allowed to send an intro message.

I understand what you're saying about the cost. But we are all trying to not spend if we don't have to, for numerous reasons. Most are trying to save in order to begin this sort of lifestyle, while others are trying to save in case they need it if they're already 'living the dream', as it were.

I've joined dating sites in the past that were free. They were really good (although not geared towards anything permaculture). But when they started taking away the things that used to be free and started charging people for them, a lot of people got pissed and complained, with the admins of the sites not caring too much about it.
I've joined GreenSingles.com a while ago. The two times I caved and paid to talk to a potential someone they weren't real. They were fake accounts that eventually got flagged and taken down. Before cancelling the second time, one other person I tried speaking with said that they didn't "want to live in a hut". My profile said nothing about huts in any way.
A lot of people's expectations are unrealistically high. They want instant paradise and gratification, and they want someone who already has it all done so they can just "move-in" and have that person just start teaching them everything, which is not reality. It may happen for them, but the percentage is not that high.

So while cost is a factor to take under consideration, the scammers and fakes make it a deterrent in choosing whether or not to bother paying. Other sites have hoards of fakes too but I've abandoned the idea of bothering with them due to all of this.

If one of you fine folks makes a quality outlet for finding someone, or have already, I'm open to taking a look at it, and welcome the chance to change my mind.

Jaimie Mantzel wrote:

Xyon Orion wrote:That sounds like a good idea to me. I've thought the same thing at times throughout my life.
I've even asked friends, on numerous occasions, if they "know anyone that would be a good fit for me". They have mostly said "no" (which seems like a statistical improbability).

Yeah, I'm starting to think there's gotta be a way to make a dating site, or app that incentivizes people to set each other up.  I have some coding experience, and I have a super nerdy coder friend who's been looking for a good project.  Hmmm...

I would join if you and your friend made it. But you may not make any money from it in general (or maybe so little that it isn't worth charging) due to people trying to save as much of it as possible.
"Swiping" has ruined dating to such a noticeable degree online that it deters me from using outlets like that that use that 'method'.

People have lost the ability in the last decade or so to actually meet in person, and they have little to no conversational skill and are scared of everything to do with another person. I've even noticed that people don't really look at you at all when they're speaking to you. And they sometimes do it from a physical distance. Like they can't be bothered or its too much effort for them.
Most people nowadays are a bit (if not more) broken socially.

That sounds like a good idea to me. I've thought the same thing at times throughout my life.
I've even asked friends, on numerous occasions, if they "know anyone that would be a good fit for me". They have mostly said "no" (which seems like a statistical improbability).

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