Mari Henry wrote:
Purity Lopez wrote:After I made my first comment in this thread, ...
I once cracked open my skull when the trailer hitch bucked......these are the things that will test you more than being afraid someone might hurt you.
I like a lot of what you were saying, but had to stop reading after what you said about rape. Rape is the fault of rapists, not the victims. No one deserves to be raped or causes it to happen. The rapist causes it. Not the victims.
Not to speak for Purity, but I've been through and assisted with several self defense classes and they'll all tell you the same things Purity has said. Rape and murder and other crimes are not the fault of the victims, and they could be men/women/other people doing the the raping or the murdering or being the victim. We also know that it doesn't matter what you're wearing or what you look like. So what's left can be not having the confidence and not knowing what to do when faced with situations versus knowing situational awareness and being assertive and knowing what to do if you become a target. Defending yourself may not work every time, but data and the information we have shows that being more aggressive and defensive in most situations helps significantly.
Often people won't speak up or take action in uncomfortable situations due to "maybe I'm wrong" or that self imposed fitting in with society mentality, and sometimes to the point to where it's too late and you're face to face alone with a rapist who is intent on doing whatever they do. Even rape within the home is usually mostly mental breakdown of the victim over time by the assailant, not because the victim can't defend themselves, they just don't think they can or are so broken they don't try. Teaching people to defend themselves is basically the defense in the moment. A rapist or murderer won't care if you shake a finger at them and blame them for doing what they will do in the moment. It's never the victim's fault, but it's also not a person's fault if their house gets broken into and items are stolen. But we lock doors and set alarms and we do different things to protect it. They didn't fail if it doesn't work, they try their best. But what Purity is talking about is being on top of being defensive from go where possible.
A person can do their best to protect themselves and learn techniques to make themselves either 'undesirable' (ie the mad cat example, when feeling like you're in trouble) or knowing self defense and being more assertive goes a very long way in personal protection. Is it a victim's fault if they fail to defend themselves? Never. But that's also a very big reason for people to be very aware, very 'mad cat' like, very ready to protect yourself. Even if you don't look confident (are shy, aren't sure of yourself, looking down at the floor), just knowing how to flip someone over who has a hold of you, how to become a heavy log if they try to pick you up, things like that, it can make a real difference.
