Jan White wrote:I'm not saying any of you guys consciously think this, think that it's true, or mean to say it in anything you've written, but what's coming across to me is that there's a sense that you're entitled to a woman, that you have a right to a mate. You've put in the effort of looking and wooing, you've jumped through whatever hoops you think you need to and now you're entitled to your prize. Maybe it's just how it's coming across to me and there's no truth in my perception, but it might be something to keep in mind and monitor in yourselves. It can't hurt.
The idea that women are getting arrogant or searching for men that are out their leagues is interesting to me. I'm 40. The majority of women I know older than me "settled" in some way for the man they have. Often it was because of a pregnancy that made them feel like they needed the security of a mate, even if it wasn't the one they would have chosen. Often it was because they live in a small town and just didn't have many choices. In the past, these women gave up higher education, career advancement, entrepreneurialism to fit their lives to their husband's plans and the not necessarily expected existence of children. Now, they cook food they're bored of cause it's what their husbands like, they limit their social activities to ones their husbands like, etc. I know men do these sorts of things for their wives as well. I'm not trying to make any comparisons there.
What I am trying to say is that now that women are not so dependent on men, as they traditionally have been in many ways, they're more free to pick the men they actually want. You think women are getting pickier or arrogant. It may be that you're just used to women settling for less than they actually need for a fulfilling relationship.
Generally, women have much closer emotional bonds with friends than men do. They don't necessarily need or want a spouse for that emotional support, they don't need the financial support, and they like having sex. That might be part of what you're seeing with hookups increasing.
Something that may be helpful to you personally is to develop your male friendships. Men typically rely on women in their lives to fulfill their emotional needs, which isn't the healthiest. Having those emotionally open relationships with other men isn't something our society teaches men to do, but I think, if you're feeling lonely, frustrated, rejected, whatever, in dating, you need to deal with that and find emotional connection with another human. And I don't mean you should just talk about how shitty women are and end up forming your own incel group 😋
Jordan and Steve, you've shared your ages. I'm sympathetic, cause you are in a bit of a tough age range. Maybe you just need to wait a few years for all the angry, newly divorced women to blow off some steam and start looking for someone who isn't like their first husband.😁
Stacy Witscher wrote:The current research is that men shouldn't be procreating much longer than women should. Major genetic defects can and do occur. 20's and 30's are prime procreation ages for both sexes.
I love that people realize that they don't "need" to be in a relationship, and it's all about wants. Staying in a relationship because you "need" to is extremely toxic.
Steve Johnston wrote:Hi Permies
I'm looking for a unique situation.
Looking for a place suitable for a small Permaculture farm with two separate structures that are suitable for housing. Rustic is perfectly fine. I'm open-minded to what they may be like: Small cabin, shack, tiny home, barn what ever it may be.
Housing is for father son, and the other for single person.
We would be using all alternative, and permaculture methods on the farm.
Need space for green house, and mushroom shed, as well as land for crops.
We would like a partial crop share arrangement where in we pay a small monthly rent, along with a percentage of any profits made from produce, and products. There are a few things besides produce that the farm produces that can be sold.
Open to different situations that match that general idea.
If that sounds interesting contact me.
To be clear, I am not looking for a place to grow cannabis.
Ideally looking for western slope of coastal range.
I'm currently in Northern California in Siskiyou county.
Ben Zumeta wrote:If you are open to Del Norte Co (north of humboldt on CA coast), or even sw OR, I might be able to help with connections. We have similar weather patterns up here, but more and better water sources and even more land is public (unbeatable zones 4-5!). However this does make good farmland hard to find, and good help even harder. Either way, best of luck!