I feel you. After 35 years in tech, I retired and left the bay area with a new wife. We bought 72 acres to start our offgrid homesteading dream. Unfortunately, I learned her dream was watching off grid life on TV and not actually living it. The two are not the same. She was gone in a month and hoped right to another man. So much for love 🤷♂️. It’s been a wild ride. I’ve survived and grown so much. But I have not achieved 10% of what I thought I would have by now. I’m also getting exhausted. I think much of my energy and passion were a trauma response. I’ve created the animal sanctuary, the campground. I’ve had 6000+ visitors since opening in July of 2019. A bulk of that was during Covid as this was the only place people could dispurse camp while visiting Sequoia Kings Canyon National Parks. It’s how the who ag-tourism campground came about.
I’ve tried to create community here. I once dreamed of an intentional community thriving (ikigai Sanctuary on ic.org) but I’ve learned how challenging bringing people together is. I’m at a burnout point. I’ve done pretty much everything nonstop solo. I only seem to attract freeloaders short term, not contributors. I created the 501c3 a year ago. Getting donors has been anything but successful. I just don’t have the energy or time to do it all. I still love this life over the prior comfortable I left. I guess I’m just at yet another transition moment. I know this to shall pass. It’s winter off season now so it’s back to just me and the lovingly demanding animals. Maybe this is the time to breathe and reflect and not be consumed with discouragement. I’ve become an odd duck. I crave human connection but I also love solitude. I’m still trying to find the perfect healthy balance. If you would like to visit my madness sometime, I’m about 6 hours from you. We get lots of San Diego/Encinitas visitors during peak season.
