For what this is worth ... I'm a Christian counselor, and I do something called temperament therapy. Most people have never heard of it. In my almost 10 years of experience, I've discovered that many of these types of conflicts are due to the fact that you and your spouse are wired differently.
I am GUESSING at your spouse's temperament based on what you've said ... but I'm guessing he's the type who does not feel comfortable doing something he isn't sure how to do, he doesn't like to feel controlled, he's a perfectionist, and he is not motivated by punishment or reward.
I am GUESSING that you are a git 'er done kind of girl, that you tend to just jump in and figure it out, that you are more interested in having it done than having it perfect, and that you also do not like to feel controlled.
The cool thing is that marriages between people with different temperaments can actually work really well ... as long as you can resist the urge to kill each other.
That's because you each have strengths that the other doesn't have. The key is to learn to work with them rather than fighting them.
If you'd like to know more, feel free to pm me.