Ego generally means an over-exaggerated sense of self-importance. It's a form of arrogance. But, to say, "If a person is on a path to rid themselves of ego, then it seems they wish to develop self-loathing? That doesn't seem right." is an extreme statement in an attempt to justify your opinion. (No offense, just being factual.) But, you are right in that self-loathing isn't right either. It's just not a matter of one or the other.
It sounds like you have a clear understanding of how much ego is "just right". Your scale starts with how your level is "just right", therefore, only those people with more than you "have ego", and anybody with your level or less "do not have ego."
I suppose I am suggesting that there are other people that have less ego than you, and they are doing the same thing, but pointing at you and saying "look at that fountain of ego!" And then there are other people with even less pointing at both of you ...
And then there are people that never say anything about others because they would be a demonstration of ego, and they are trying to better themselves and breathe without ego.
Therefore ... I guess what I am saying is:
- ego is a spectrum. we all have a bit. Some people have more than others.
- some people aspire to have zero. That is a fascinating path.
I think if you say, out loud, "not me! I don't have ego!" then I suppose you would have a different definition than the one I have laid out.
You said
Ego generally means an over-exaggerated sense of self-importance.
I think "over-exaggerated" is going to be relative and subjective. If you are standing in a group of a hundred people ... group A ... then you might have the least ego of the group. Or maybe you and 50 people are lower than the other 50. Then you can say "this half of the group does NOT have ego and THAT half of the group does have ego." Fair.
And then you wander over to group B, and find that you are in the ego group. You might even be the most egotistical of the whole group! As much as you might say "what an amazing thing! This whole group of people is without ego!" and there are a few in the group pointing at you and saying "can you believe the ego of that guy?"