I sympathize with women in having to avoid predatory men, however, I often don't understand their strategy for doing so: specifically, waiting and insisting on extensive conversation before meeting. The way I look at online dating is that it's should be a way to meet people without men having to 'hit on' women and women being 'hit on' in permies, rather than a way to find out every single thing about a person and potentially fall in love with a person who you've never met and don't even know if they are who they claim to be. And a background check can be performed in a matter of hours, I'm sure there are sites that a woman can direct a man to go to and enter his information. Waiting for an extended period of time may weed out some impatient predatory or dishonest/married men, but there may also be men who enjoy playing that game and are willing to do so. Personally, I tend not to be very good at small talk, especially if I can't see someone's face to gauge how they are reacting, and I find it to get boring and frustrating very quickly. I also think that over the years, people have become less willing to be vulnerable over the internet. I did online dating before it was popular and it seemed like people were more willing to share more quickly in the past, or even just sharing in general on the internet. Or maybe more people are afraid to talk in any situation than ever before. Really, online dating is no different than meeting someone in a grocery store, once you actually meet--you don't necessarily know anything about some guy that starts talking to you in a grocery store either. Even in a small community where people have known each other for years, people don't always truly know each other. There are women who have been married to serial killers for twenty years and never knew until they were caught. I would humbly suggest that the best way to stay safe is to nourish your intuition and take some precautions, maybe learn some self defense techniques, and then live life. After all, life is short and no matter how careful we are, any of us can die at any moment from something as random as a burst of lightning or a piece of a Boeing aircraft falling out of the sky. Maybe sometimes the talk of 'creepiness' is just a justification for getting rid of someone because you aren't ready and maybe you just wanted some attention and validation, but weren't ready for a real relationship with a person who would have needs and feelings. That's called using people and is a different type of creepy. Same goes with having unreasonably high standards (snobbery, overly inflated egos, lack of understanding about what men find attractive)--maybe some people deep down want to be alone but don't like what that says about them. As much as I want everyone to be in a loving relationship, some people may do the world a favor by staying home with their cats.
