Okay, I'm not an expert but I am from a country where making tar was a big thing back in the days. I did some research and..
Yes, the problem is not having a drain to get the tar out of the barrel. In the videos I watched the drainage pipe was buried undergroung for about two meters, to cool down the steam and the tar. The watery stuff (direct translation from Finnish is "tar piss") comes first and the container you are draining the tar is emptied to another container and then the actual tar is being collected.
That kind of raises the question if the product you made is actual tar, as you cooked it down in the barrel with the tar piss.
I don't have any advise on how to add the drain. I do know that you don't need a valve.
Here's a video of the setup if you want to have a look. It's in Finnish but if there's any questions about the stuff in the video, just ask and I can translate.
As for thinning, traditionally linseed (flaxseed) oil or/and linseed varnish was used alongside the pine turpentine, the proportions I saw mentioned were 1:1:1 but it depends on the use. However, as those instructions were for thinning tar made the correct way I don't know how to apply it to your situation. I think you just have to try.
I hope this helps even a tiny bit and maybe someone more knowledgeable will notice this and help now that I bump it a bit!