My nettle experiment is officially over. I pulled them out today.

Even if you dont like its eating/making rope/insect habitat properties, it still makes incredible fertiliser and applied as foliar spray it vanquishes aphid infestations too.

Those look so painful.  Why don't  you think about Crosnes? Also known as Japanese artichoke or "Stachys affinis". It is an understory root plant, it is in the mint family so spreads REALLY easy. LOL.  It is good in stir fry and salads. And as an added plus, it won't scar/sting you.