Phil Swindler

I had taken a rare day off from work and, having shed the corporate uniform, was dressed scruffily, with my hair in rollers. Glancing out my window, I saw a van blocking my driveway. Incensed, I flew to the door and told the driver to move it immediately.

About an hour later, all dressed up to go shopping, I was backing my car out of the driveway and noticed the driver standing on the sidewalk. A little embarrassed, I smiled and nodded hello. "Ma'am," he said to me. "I hope your grandmother is only visiting. She is one tough old cookie."

OK, it's not a frog.  But, my sister's washing machine was not draining down the drain and was throwing water onto the floor.
When my brother-in-law ran a drain snake through the drain line, he pulled out a dead squirrel.
That air vent pipe through the roof now has a screen over it.

z

Did you hear about the nervous father who is pacing up and down in the hospital lobby waiting to hear about the birth of his first child? Finally, after several hours, the nurse arrives. The father runs up to her and asks, "Nurse, tell me, is it a boy?"

The nurse says calmly, "Well, the middle one is."

Signs You Might Be from Montana
The wind is faster than your truck.
You own more than four pairs of gloves.
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
The sun goes down and you immediately grab your coat.
In March your vehicle is 43% mud.
You leave your keys in your car and the next morning it's still there.
You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.
Wolves are naturally free, and house cats are on a leash.
You hear the words "stream" or "brook" pronounced as "crick."
The elevation exceeds the population of your town.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 9:00.
The jug of milk on your porch is frozen.
Your vehicle is broken down on the highway and someone stops to help you ... and you trust them!
You can pay for a Big Mac with a personal check.
There's a bison in your lane.
Your central heating system is fueled by large logs.
You can see the stars at night.
People drive 200+ miles to shop at a mall.
Your great-grandmother is older than the courthouse.
You got a set of new snow tires for Valentine's Day.
Your minister shows up Sunday morning wearing Carhartt coveralls.
More than half the meat in your freezer is elk.
The term "wind chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary.
The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
Your backyard smells like sagebrush (or the nearest feedlot).
You put on a pair of snow boots to get the morning paper.
You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
A girls' basketball game fills the school gym.
You put the car heater on your list of best friends.
Tractors are a normal part of traffic.
You use your back porch as a freezer from October thru May.
Your telephone book is smaller than most magazines.
You have made jerky at least once in your life.
You think it's normal to replace your cracked windshield every spring when you take off the studded snow tires.
Dressing up means wearing a clean flannel shirt and jeans that aren't too dirty.
You pronounce Kootenai as "COOT-nee."
You can tell it was a bad winter because there are only 50 or 60 deer grazing at the edge of town.
You've seen so many bald eagles you don't even pay attention to them anymore.
You go around in shorts when it's 45 degrees (F) outside.
You consider someone a neighbor if they live only 6 or 7 miles away.
You wave to every car on the highway, whether you're on foot or driving or even sitting on the creek bank with your back to the road.
You ignore the center line and drive on whichever part of the road is smoothest, driest, or feels safest.
Your idea of Mexican cuisine is elk chili and bear tacos.
You know what "Montana potatoes" are.
You've patched your jeans by using duct tape.

We take extra greens (like chard, kale, and mustard greens) and run them through the dehydrator.  Then grind them into a powder.
We add this powder to soups and sauces to boost the nutrition in the winter.

David Jenkins wrote:I need some 55 gall barrels where can I get some 4062400890

Anyone near Wichita, KS - there is a place on south Hydraulic near 63rd that sells food grade barrels.  They have 55 gal and 30 gal, both plastic and metal.  Couldn't tell you the prices.

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?


A hobbyte.

Do you know how rare it is for a cow to be struck by lightening?


Medium Rare.