I think oddly sometimes, like..."just what is my dog thinking?"
Our dog just retired after 8 faithful years watching sheep, so now that she is inside, I wonder what she thinks.
'What the heck is up with that thing? She never leaves her hutch, never does anything, never makes a sound, and yet the humans oogle over her, give her treats, and make sure everything she could ever want is right there for her. What the heck does she do for this family? I have taken on (2) coyotes, (2) fox, and an Eagle...what the heck has that bitch done?"
"How can anything be so arrogant? She has been inside all her life, does not even have to go outside to poo or pee, acts all super tough by batting at me, but is scared senseless of the wind if she steps outside. I have had to sleep on the ground, or in the barn all my life, and this cat has been living the easy life doing what...chasing a teeny tiny mouse a few times? BIG DEAL. I don't mean to brag, but I have killed (2) coyotes, (2) fox, and chased off an Eagle, and the humans get all loving on her when she kills an itty-bitty mouse."
"WTF (What the Fannypack)? They talk to her. They feed her daily. They change her water so she has a clean living environment, and they even buy her toys for her fish tank. I do not get it. What the heck does she do for this family? SHE SWIMS...that is it! SWIMS??? What is all the fuss?"
"Okay, so the duck is loud, but at least she does SOMETHING every day, and lays a few eggs. Of course the humans pick them up and eat them for breakfast, which makes me wonder, if I had puppies would the humans pick my puppies up and eat them? I doubt it, they seem to have an out of control food craving for oblong, fragile things that come dangerous close to the touch-hole of a duck. A puppy is not oblong or fragile. Either way, I am glad I never had any puppies."
"Okay, these guys just piss me off. For 8 years I have been freezing in the winter, sweltering in the summer, getting eaten by blackflies in the spring, and getting tick bitten in the fall, and these guys have been sitting inside, staying comfortable, eating all the time, laying on soft beds. Who would have thought they would have it so easy. They do not even go outside to go poo or pee, and they do not even have to change their litterbox. They do not even scratch, they just sit on a big white thing, and then whoooooosh, it is gone.
Out of all of these, I can see for 8 years I was doing all of the work around here. Well except for the sheep, they went into labor a lot, and speaking of the sheep, just where did all of them go these last 8 years? Interesting, maybe I did not have it so bad after all. I am still here at least!