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Home Sweet Home

 
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Location: N. California
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For the most part my daughter age 21 lives with her boyfriend at his parents house.  We live closer to her work and she doesn't drive, so about two or three nights a week she comes home.  She became ill a little over two weeks ago and was worried so she self isolated her self at her boyfriends house. (She got better in about 4 days, but staid put just in case)  She came home after two weeks yesterday the longest she has been away.  She said mom it is so good to be home.  It smells like home.  I feel like I can breath again.  We only live a 1/2 mile out of city limits.  We have .99 of and acre in the middle of orchards.  My husband has a neck injury that never got better no matter what they did, for many years he has lived with chronic pain.  So the fixer upper we bought 26 years ago never got fixed.  There is so much wrong with the house at this point, it makes me ashamed.  I told my older daughter what my other daughter said and how it made me feel, and she said mom out of all the friends and family rich or poor we always had the best yard, we still do.  It warms my heart, and makes me laugh at the same time.  The grass is weeds we mow and pretend is grass.  Every time we get a bad wind storm I'm sure it will blow the old bard in the back of the property down (even though I love it)  There are two small sheds that should be knocked down.  Definitely not what most people would call beautiful.  But there is room to move, the largest most amazing walnut tree I have ever seen in the middle of the back yard.  I have a rose garden, a veggie garden, and several flower beds, and lots of fruit and nut trees.  The land is why be bought the place, and it may not be paradise, but like Sara said it's home.  It gave the children endless hours of dirt and toads and fun in the sun, and some how a sense that the land we care for is home every bit as much as the house.  This doesn't excuse what is wrong with the house, but it does lift my spirits.
 
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This post resonated with me.  I live in an OLD mobile home that I grew up in, then inherited. It is not fancy or cozy in the winter. It is difficult to keep clean. I have a dehumidifier running a lot of the year so the inside doors don't swell too much to close. It still smells vaguely like mildew.

I'm saving for a new little house and should have it built by end of year but in the meantime, only one new person got invited over because I was ashamed. It's not how I want people to see me.

I was telling my sister about this and how I want to invite new friends to dinner, over to see my beautiful (but not manicured) property, want to create community but I was embarrassed. She said she understood but something she had learned over the years is you rarely know where people come from, where they live, what things are like for them. Apologizing for your home, saying I'm sorry it's such a dump, could be hurting or insulting them. Theirs could be or could have been even worse, the same.

I have since invited several new friends over, although in the current situation this is limited. Turns out one lives in a cheap apartment in town and he loves my place for the fresh air, the beauty, and because I own it. Another has property but lives in a trailer without running water, grew up in a trailer park.

There are judgy people and they can hurt, but I wouldn't have the rich friendships that I do if I hadn't swallowed my pride and been vulnerable. Your place sounds lovely to me!
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