Going from two to one adults - adapting

Hi Permies,

I lost my husband very suddenly three years ago. I've recently come to the realisation that the reason my garden has been so unproductive in the last three years, is that I'm still trying to garden and homestead the way we did when there were two adults' worth of labour. I really haven't adapted the way I do things from the "old days". He wasn't as keen on urban homesteading as I am, but was always willing to do the big stuff - digging, lifting, providing the extra hands. I need to stop looking back sadly and look forward - what can I do now, with the resources that I have?

Has anyone else been through a similar journey? How did you decide what changes to make to adapt to their being just you? And what changes did you make?

I would appreciate anyone sharing their learnings and thoughts.

Thank you!

My wife has become increasingly disabled over the years.  I find myself wanting to do things 5he way I did when she was healthy. If nothing else, simple activities simply aren’t as much fun.  I find myself having to do more formal scheduling of my time.  I also, when needed, hire someone to work with me  for a few hours.   This is also a safety issue. I can save more risky activities for when someone else is around.

Thanks John. I have definitely had to start scheduling gardening - I have added two time blocks per week which has worked as it's really got me back in the garden.

I don't do the unsafe stuff on my own, for example a kind friend whose Dad lives next door to me, does any chainsawing I need done, and also anything with heights... I'm totally phobic!

My current partner (who doesn't live with me) is keen to help when he visits, but I feel weird about accepting his help, rather than figure out how to adapt to make it more manageable on my own... some pride issues there I need to get over!