Dear Bryan,
I am jealous - I have always wanted an "elf reliant garden". Typos can be fun
Seriously though, I try to direct seed most things, but some plants such as tomatoes, peppers and eggplant would never mature in my relatively short season. Transplants are the only way I can grow these foods. I use homemade potting soil ( worm castings,sand,good garden soil) and salvaged plastic pots.
I agree with you about generally not molly-coddling plants that have trouble with my gardening system and climate, but I am culturally attached to some food items and so am willing to do what it takes to grow them. I am also learning to eat new foods that grow easily, esp perennials.
In general, I too function as a "dating service" for most of the plants I grow in the garden and food forest- sorting them into groups that are likely to get along in terms of soil and light requirements, etc. I then sow the mixture ( the meet and mix party) and wait and see who turns up together later on.
This method works best with a prepared seed bed.My biggest problem with this method in the wilder parts of the food forest is quack (couch, twitch) grass , which is extremely aggressive and allelopathic. I am slowly expanding my zones of quack grass free areas, but what a struggle!
Manitoulin Mary