ready, willing, able: 43 male needs a specific woman 32 - 40

hello ? (i am wondering how to address the reader of this post - all or you?)
so i'll start again.

hello to all-of-you
this is kapil and i currently live in india. i was born here, in the summer of '82, when the moon was at it's brightest.
the moon who smiled at me as her tides washed me to these earthen shores, returned to the other side, under the same summer moon, 4 years back. the sun that she egged on to shine through the days that the i-land was being explored, had burnt out same date  10 months before. as their son, i had held the sun in my hands and watched it shoot it's last flare into a galaxy far away. i trust it turned out to be a milky way, due to the last smile upon his face.

so, i find myself at sea, yet standing upon the shores, looking up to the star-lit skies and wondering which one is blinking at me. it's a little dazzling and unnerving to maintain my stance with the waves constantly crashing. incessantly banging, while slowly creeping up on me. there are infinite stars, yet, they all seemed con-figured within con-stall-ate-i/ons, l(o/u)red by the dead, their individual light indiscernible from the constellation.

though exhausted and dry eyed with the waters of absorbed tears, i lay my spine upon the dunes and allow the earth to seek through me. is there a star up there, abandoned, never bound or broken free, that'll sparkle and twinkle, just at me; that's seen the universe, inside out, all around; on the brink of descent, ready to land, build in the sand, roll in the waves, with me.

me:
engineering, information technology, rural management, elementary education. never lived long term on a farm, but traveled and seen so many experiments, communities, good intentions and visions, kind of jaded now. but glad for it, can wear the ring, upon my index finger as a reminder, that i alone have to cast it into the mordor.
i keep the fires burning by writing, tinkering with musical instruments, dabbling with paints and learning to illustrate my stories for young adults, writing on black and green screens, trying to invent a new key and capturing her dance in frames for posterity.
i can think, i can wait, i can fast, i can put my body to task, where and when needed. i enjoy all things enjoyable, though i definitely want to kick off my shoes to dance.

you:
educated or one who can read, think, introspect, reflect and debate. short enough to plant a kiss atop your head, tall enough to kiss, without craning your neck, i am 6 feet, ~85 kgs, i don't gym enough, yet, i am willing to lift you, if you have nurtured space, to allow something, to grow inside, off you. hand-some with food, clothing or shelter, yet pretty (n) smart to know where to draw the line and engage with all of life, not just survive. deep creative skills and pursuits that can help maintain personal sanity, family vibrancy and be harvested and exchanged for social value as and when desired.

us:
a small, intensive homestead, edges of a town you would like to grow old and die in. similar people living close-by. community through value-creation, trade and mingling rather than communal living (coming from india, the pro's and con's of communal living runs in our blood and i accept and value human progress in all forms and dimensions).

where:
i prefer the united states over any other part of the world, simply because of it's history with law. 300 years of constitution is not a joke and i am only waking up to that reality in the last few years. kingdoms and all other forms of governance are exciting at a distance, theory and maybe the materiality we currently see , but on the inside when you have to wait on the whims and fancy of another and there is no recourse to the process of law or even it's existence on paper or in on human minds, it's no joke, but a question of freedom and life. i find deep similarities in the process of 500+ buddhist regulations of the vinaya, which were intended to establish the grounds for the cultivation of mind. similar small constitution of the 8 fold-path, monks free to pursue nirvana on the basis of their own effort and merit, yet intricate emergent self-regulating legal system.

i took me good time to compose this, i don't speak like this, nor take time to think and act, decisive and clear. but there was no other way to express, the seer-ious-ness of intention - available and desired.