Planting for rabbit (guinea pig) food

You can tell im riddled with anguish all of a sudden, I've gotta live through it, I'm going to live through it. I'm sitting here stairing at what's locally available I dont know why I dont like frensh lops, and I'm not gun ho about dispatching furballs either. Somethings gotta give, someone going to get eaten I've gotta rise from this morass.
I know i'll be paying upwards of 100 dollar's per rabbit, there is a life above reason, it's not the fullest expression of what a human can be. I feel sick now, and that's good everything seemed all to easy, and I know fear is always the last dragon at the gateway to a higher reality. I'm trying to find my rabbit to love and honor for feeding my family, I know my muscovy's only have the freedom they have because I'm willing to live with a landlord who doesn't care how much I permaculture his property but also doesn't care if the septic tank gurgles over everyday and produces a wretched stench outside his front door.  Everything is an exchange, I don't have any peer's to pursuade me or follow the lead of, and now I've chosen you to put my trust in.  We share the same love for constant never ending improvement through learning, I don't think ill of any of your choices, as free will has it's limit's based on what each person has become. Right now my free will has opened up being able to slaughter because of the protection of the archetype of the provider. Just like doctor's don't get sick from treating the sick as long as they obey their Hippocratic oath as they armor.

I am the benefactor of my Zen practices, without it I don't think I could look at the downside of human existance without self destructing. I know it will be there when it's time to harvest. There comes a point where the highest good require's quite an advanced consciousness to even see it. I feel like for one breed of rabbit which I have yet to identify joining my family is it's spirit's reward for a few expressions "serial existence as individual rabbits".  The inner child feel's like it's choosing who's going to die, while my inner sage see's it as who will get to live again and again through serving my household as subsistence at the end of it's 12 weeks of life. This is suppose to be hard for me, or else how could I one day hope to serve someone else by true experience when there at the same crossroads.

Are french angoras food rabbit's, yes anything you can fit into your mouth is food, but I'm trying to feel I'm doing a creature honor by letting it express it's purpose. In this case who's food? Dog's and Cat's serve a great purpose than food, they teach us how to love and in doing so save many a life. I'm literally trying to see it's nature for lack of better words "psychically" ugh how airy fairy.  I saw it in your giant chinchillas, but alas they must not be available to me for some reason or higher purpose I can't see. The silly aspect of myself see things like fur length as somehow linked to purpose which really feels irrational to whatever's left of the pragmatist in me.

I feel really stupid and childish now, and I'm hiding it from my family by locking myself in my office. My choices currently are eat a puffball "angora" eat a mush body "french lop" or eat a red eyed slave "the new zealands".  For God's sake's someone post a giant chinchilla on craigslist so this can be over with.

Say something dave, say you'd choose angora's if given the opportunity and I can get over dispatching a tribble. I'm obviously looking for some kind of a sign, and craigslist isn't posting one yet. I'm not opting for cages at this time so I really feel choosing a long haired breed is a disservice to the living conditions I may be able to provide.  I was ready to go flemish giant, but I can't find any literature that doesn't indicate I'll be eating bones for dinner, nor can I find one picture of a carcass so I could make up my own mind.  Rampant yield isn't really my goal, being able to face my life's choices at the end of this cycle is what I live for. I would rather eat more bone and feel a bit better, than have to think like a mercenary each time I dispatch a furball who could of lived 10 year's giving me fur 3 times a year.  But where talking food first, and I can only do my colony concept if I eat the colony and leave the adults every few months. I have no interest in creating testicle biting conditions, just to run around pretending colony raising is a righteous path.

I'm going to call that guy in ontario and see what he suggest about the chinchilla's maybe he knows of someone who doesn't have a website that would make my day.

You should be out chopping bamboo no? but here you are helping me through this, You can't say such deeds don't have an effect on your life just because they don't turn into money in the morning. 

Gahhh I wreak of needing a hug, and could kick myself for even smelling of emotion.

French Angoras are more valuable for their hair.  I wouldn't eat them and they require a lot of care.  They have to be brushed regularly and trimmed often.  I am not sure you would want to use them for meat.

You really should email that giant chinchilla breeder in Ontario and ask if he is aware of any non registered breeders in BC.  Many breeders do not join the breeders assoc.  I am not a member because I never plan to show my rabbits.  They are registered pure bred from a breeders assoc. member but  only bought them for the bloodline.  Size is a factor for showing these rabbits and the bigger the better.  I did a lot of homework before choosing my breed. 

My purpose for choosing this particular breed is because they are heavy enough to dispatch at weaning.  They were bred as a meat rabbit.  Those other breeds you mention aren't.  Well some people raise lops for meat but they will need a couple of extra weeks of feeding.  My choice was also based on a lack of space.  I needed a rabbit that wouldn't require extra cages. 

Regarding you over flowing septic system.  Have you tried using an enzyme septic cleaner?  I am hoping that I never get caught with my compost pile from my homemade composting toilet.  I am a militant water conserver and disconnected my toilet a few years ago.  There is no odor or flies or anything like that but it is probably against the law in this county.

Be patient and with some work we will find your rabbits..  I had to drive 400 miles one way to pick up my rabbits.  Any reputable breeder will not ship rabbits.