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funny signs  RSS feed

 
gardener
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This first sign greets customers at a garden store.

The second one was outside the drug store.
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Dale Hodgins
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The Far side has fun with signs.

The second one is from a charity run.

Big savings at the grocery store.

This company is having fun with the British security people.
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Dale Hodgins
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Toxic waste can be fun.

The folks who own the new SUV, want us to live simply.
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Dale Hodgins
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This toilet barely works. 15 seconds is a long time to push the awkwardly placed button on the side.

Get a new toilet. I'm pretty sure that the owner could afford a new one. This giant sun room is about 1/5 of their castle on the beach.
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Dale Hodgins
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The add is for a plastic surgery business. A rivet on the bus, makes it appear that the model has a wart on her face.

The bathroom signs are at a place that serves alcohol. It seems likely that some patrons will choose the wrong one.
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master steward
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pollinator
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Only in Maine (this is a REAL sign/store).

My wife went to the Boutiques to find a wedding dress for our wedding and hardly got an acknowledgement, but when she went here, they doted over her and actually ended up buying her wedding dress here...though I did not need beer to wed her, nor put a gun to her head to say "I do"

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gardener
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From a local business in Olympia WA.
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master steward
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This says so much!
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Tube rental
 
Dale Hodgins
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I think they close the restaurant when the last customers leave. They are closed between 2 and 5 p.m. . They reopen at 5 and continue until some later date.
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Jocelyn Campbell
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Hm, I did not know that "closing" was a time! Haha!

We've actually has a mountain lion traveling across the 'volcano' on our property and heard that it ate the dog next door. We call them 'mountain lions' and not 'cougars' for the reason in the first sign!

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cougar in area sign
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people are eating children in this area sign
 
Dale Hodgins
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I did a job for a retired policeman who worked in Yellowknife Northwest Territories. A quick Google search showed that there is a street of that name in Yellowknife. I think policeman are supposed to prevent theft.
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I offered some cherries. had no desire for food
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Saddam Hussein moonlights as the character on the Ill Grecco restaurant
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I have a bathtub. I
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Multiple choice
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This should be a steakhouse
 
Dale Hodgins
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Everywhere I Go, there are silly signs. I think I heard a preacher say that once.
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Okay, I see this and raise you...
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Stress relief I can believe in
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Doubledecker
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Blonde, James Blonde
 
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Travis Johnson wrote:Only in Maine (this is a REAL sign/store).

My wife went to the Boutiques to find a wedding dress for our wedding and hardly got an acknowledgement, but when she went here, they doted over her and actually ended up buying her wedding dress here...though I did not need beer to wed her, nor put a gun to her head to say "I do"

. Yup, you live in ME. Lol.  Only place I lived where you can purchase ammo, by the round,eat the worlds worst pizza, pick up some cotter pins,fish hooks,a new flannel shirt, a bottle of vodka,a hunting liceance, two dozen minnows and your mail, all at one convenient location
Last time I flew, there was a sign with prohibited carry on objects.  There was a cartoon drawing of a " bomb" like you see in a road runner cartoon with a red "no" slash through it. Were the airport people telling me that I have to place my bomb with the checked in luggage  Larry.  Ps that was a joke
 
Travis Johnson
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We went to a funeral one time in New Portland, Maine and the name of the road was "The Katie Crotch Road". All we can think of is that since the road follows a river in a very rural area; with plenty of places to stop in what would be an ideal "lovers lane", it hence got its name. We got a HUGE kick out of this as my wife is named...Katie!
webpage

I would have a photo of it, but the locals say the minute they put the sign up, someone steals it. Near me in Freedom, Maine there is the "Goosepecker Ridge Road", and that too the vandals like.

 
Deb Rebel
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They STILL have issues with Lukenbach Texas road signs. The song was popular in the late 70's.

I like the ones in some stores: Unattended children will be given expresso, a glue gun, glitter, and a puppy. I don't have a picture....
 
pollinator
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I went to get a background check done(we are fostering a child),and saw this sign...
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Jocelyn Campbell
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Oh my gosh, priceless additions here you guys!

My sis-in-law just found this one (in Arizona):



I like it when businesses have a little fun - why not?!

 
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Travis Johnson wrote:Only in Maine (this is a REAL sign/store).

My wife went to the Boutiques to find a wedding dress for our wedding and hardly got an acknowledgement, but when she went here, they doted over her and actually ended up buying her wedding dress here...though I did not need beer to wed her, nor put a gun to her head to say "I do"



In Missoula, MT during the early 1990s there was a store called "Guns and Toys Store." True to its name, half the store was aisles of guns and ammunition, and half was aisles of cheap children's toys.
 
Grant Holle
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William Bronson wrote: I went to get a background check done(we are fostering a child),and saw this sign...



In about 1997 or 1998 there was an article in the Chicago Reader about these signs popping up in payday loans stores. Apparently, in certain neighborhoods of Chicago, especially Hispanic neighborhoods, women were using their bras like pockets. The shop-owners said they were tired of getting sweaty cash and IDs, while the patrons said that these signs were mean.
 
Mother Tree
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The opening hours at my local station cafe.

portuguese-opening-times


Opening Hours

We are open at 8 or 9 am, sometimes 10.

We close at 6 or 7 pm, sometimes midday.

Sometimes we don't open at all.
 
pollinator
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I don't have a picture of it, unfortunately, but there is a mini billboard along a country highway locally that says "Country Pest Control."  Flanking the text is an illustration of a cow on one side and a horse on the other.

I've never inquired, but I'm assuming the cow and the horse are references to the "Country" and not to the "Pest" part of the sign.

Because, really, what do you even spray to control pestiferous livestock?  Or does one set out traps?
 
Dale Hodgins
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This lady doesn't look very tough, but she's the bouncer at a Victoria Festival. About 75 years old. Thin, but wiry. She has a nasty jab, but not much of a right hook.
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Dale Hodgins
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I  went to the Imax theater.

The second sign tells me that this may be a nice place to spend the night.

The third photo isn't technically a sign. However, if you're seen reading this fluff, it's a sign that you aren't very discriminating in what you regard as news or entertainment.
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Oh no !!! Cancer? Leprosy? Malaria?
 
Dale Hodgins
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Tomorrow is Boxing Day. For several years now, some stores have been having boxing week. Home Hardware has decided to have a little more.

One of the used car dealers has declared January, boxing month.
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Jocelyn Campbell
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Our friends at Pantry Paratus, pantryparatus.com, posted on FB this sign sent to them from a relative in Dublin, Ireland:



Paul and I loved this sign! Thanks Wilson and Chaya!



Another friend posted this amazing dog poop fairy sign at a public park. I love it!!

Notice the fine print that remarks that dog poop doesn't break down as quickly as wildlife poop. I imagine that might be due to the sawdust-like ingredients and food industry by-products that dog foods are typically made of.
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dog poop fairy sign at a park
 
paul wheaton
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If we are going to talk about picking up dog poop ...

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Ha! I would probably be a dog walker like Wednesday. That was funny!

Wednesday follows the rules (posted on signs). And threatens or kills those who don't. Be like Wednesday. (Joking!)

 
Dale Hodgins
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I can't even get hummingbirds to hold still for a picture. Imagine getting them to sit down for a massage.
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Best lawn in Victoria
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Save save save
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Financial enslavement, with freedom in the title
 
Dale Hodgins
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Jocelyn Campbell wrote:Ha! I would probably be a dog walker like Wednesday. That was funny!

Wednesday follows the rules (posted on signs). And threatens or kills those who don't. Be like Wednesday. (Joking!)


I have used a maple leaf to pick up poop and stick it to the windshield of the offender. I was on Oak Bay Avenue, and witnessed a woman emptying both of her ashtrays onto the sidewalk. I carefully scooped it all onto a sheet of stiff paper, and poured it into the offending vehicle. Some witnesses applauded. The cops were not summoned.
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Speaking of dogs, here's hoping my cousin's sign is effective!



 
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Can't post a photo here but the sign at my driveway "No Trespassing! But what the heck, Come on in, the hogs are hungry and the dogs need a new chew toy"

Half way up the drive "The retired scout sniper now knows how many nose hairs you have"
 
Deb Rebel
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I have two I'm currently redoing:

Guard Dog On Duty. She loves "Leg Steaks" (yours)

"Owner shoots like this" (those half dollar paper targets at some shooting ranges for 50 yards) and five holes within the circle. Dated. No more than a month old at any given time) "If you can read this I have a bead on you." 
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Sounds like this sign is up Bryant and Deb's alley - maybe some of you have seen one like it before.


 
Bryant RedHawk
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Good sign Jocelyn, I love it. 

"I understand that it takes all kinds of people to make the world, but why is it that so many have to be idiots?"
 
pollinator
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I used to work as a government contractor, this is a photo of one of the buildings I used to work in.  The government has a requirement that all buildings be handicap accessible, with a wheelchair ramp if needed.  However, there doesn't appear to be any requirement that the wheelchair ramp itself be wheelchair accessible.


 
Peter VanDerWal
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What are your superhero powers? Go ahead and try them on this tiny ad:
five days of natural building (wofati and cob) and rocket cooktop oct 8-12, 2018
https://permies.com/t/92034/permaculture-projects/days-natural-building-wofati-cob
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