Welcome to Permies Philip. Here in Ireland we're usually blessed with plenty rainfall, so the most ecological and straightforward thing to do is to let gravity bring the wastewater through the wetland and on into the percolation area and then likewise let gravity bring your rain down into a raised holding tank and plumb that to the toilet cistern so that pumps aren't necessary anywhere.
In a drier climate I think I'd use a compost toilet instead of recycling flush water. In fact, I use a dry system anyway, and in our recent "absolute drought" (20 days of no rain, which is unheard of here, but which most of you will probably laugh at) having a dry toilet means I can take some council water for plants and still know that my use is well below average. My 4000 litre rain water storage tanks were emptied for maintenance into my pond at just the wrong time!
In Ireland we'd use about 20-30m2/person for a constructed wetland system for all domestic effluent depending on whether the effluent was being percolated to ground or to a stream. Thus if you're getting good results with your 8m2, then continue whatever is currently working in terms of what you put down the drain.
Perhaps a biosand filter would work well before a final storage pond (
http://www.biosandfilter.org/). Consider your N and P loading, and minimise those if you can. These will lead to algal blooms in your pond if the levels are high.