Win a copy of The Ethical Meat Handbook this week in the Food Choices forum!
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources rattlesnake pit projects digital market private forums code ranch all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • r ranson
  • Nicole Alderman
  • Anne Miller
  • Pearl Sutton
  • James Freyr
  • Jocelyn Campbell
  • Joylynn Hardesty
  • paul wheaton
  • Burra Maluca
garden masters:
  • Steve Thorn
  • Greg Martin
  • Jay Angler
  • Carla Burke
  • thomas rubino

"Betrayal by an Ally", overcoming and working through it

Posts: 171
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

How To Overcome Betrayal in a Prepper Group
Jeremiah Johnson

Editor’s Note: Choosing your prepper group in one that takes careful thought and consideration. On one hand, you know there is power in numbers, but it is paramount that you choose wisely for in a SHTF event, you are stuck with them – for better or for worse.

One of the possible obstacles we may face in a prepper group is a betrayal. While this is not a welcomed situation to arise, it can happen – and trust between members can be irrevocably damaged. This is part of being mentally prepared to press on and this article will give you essential tips on how to get through a deeply felt betrayal.

Understand that you do not have to forgive unconditionally: you have to forgive if the person is repentant about the offense they’ve committed against you. That does not mean you have to have a tearful, slobbering embrace and welcome them back with open arms. We live in an era that when politicians and religious figureheads blubber on TV and claim to be sorry, that is taken to be “genuine.” What about those who are supposed to be “sharing your foxhole” with you? Most of the time it’s lip service. If they are involved with you past your normal vetting procedure? Chances are they know you and your family, as well as what supplies you have, etc.

So, what if you do have a “trusted ally” who all of a sudden goes “South” on you and betrays you in one way or another? You may have even depended on them for some type of contribution or support to your survival group/unit, in the form of money, material, or action (when the time arises). Let’s cover some guidelines when those who were supposed to be covering your back are stabbing you in it, and you need to cover your backside.
When it’s over, it’s over

If you wish to forgive them, that’s on you. It’s even more on you if you take them back in and they hurt you or others in your family or preparedness group even worse. Best thing to do is cut them loose. Give them back whatever they gave you, and send them packing. Don’t waste further time or energy with them.
No matter what form the betrayal comes in, it’s a betrayal

Plain and simple. If they screw you over on the small things, you can’t trust them on the larger things. Whether it is money, property, or a spouse or partner they are after is irrelevant. What do you think they’ll do after it hits the fan when there are no laws that can prevent them from going after what they want?
BDA (that’s Battle Damage Assessment)

You must assess how much damage has been done to you. What potential exists for more damage to be done to you by this person in the future? What do they know that they might be able to use against you, either with others of their ilk or something trumped up with the authorities? Do they know your layout of supplies and emergency procedures? Are they aware of your actions in a collapse or disaster, and the actions of those of your family? Do they know where you and/or family members work, bank, shop, frequent? Do they know your medical needs and your family’s weaknesses and strengths? You must reassess these and many other factors in order to figure out what damage is done by severing ties and what damage could be done in the future in Fisher-Price Land, or after the S hits the fan in a “Road Warrior” scenario.
“Nickel D to the Musk Oxen”

You must change the entire playbook and tighten up the screws on all of your procedures. Anything the Benedict Arnold and his brood may have been privy to, you must now change or eradicate completely. New passwords must be agreed upon; new radio freq.’s and call signs, new rally points, new near and far cache points. All of your supplies have to be moved or removed and hidden where they’re now in “parts unknown” to Benedict and his tribe.
“The seed never falls far from the tree”

Take this one to the bank. If the betrayer is cast out, then get rid of his family from your group along with them. They may play along with you for a while and denounce Benedict their dad or cousin. No matter. Blood is thicker than water. You keep them in with you? They’ll open the gates for Benedict and his group, and you will then be cast out [Note: if you haven’t done so, see the movie “Time of the Wolf”]
“What if they’re family, the betrayer?”

Not anymore: cut them loose and kick them out of the group. Immediate core family presents a special problem. What if mom betrays the group or dad? What about the kids? You have to live with them, but that doesn’t mean you have to include them in your plans for after it happens. Kids are different in that you are obligated to take care of them until they’re 18, and then they’re not a kid anymore (legally). The house that is divided does not stand, and your greatest foes can be those of your own family. But they’re human: if they betray once, they’ll do it again, as simple as that. Don’t allow “heartstrings” to turn into a garrote to throttle you.


This was a good, thought provoking read. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did. I didn't know which category to put it in, so I thought that this one would be the best. Enjoy!
I'm not sure if I approve of this interruption. But this tiny ad checks out:
All about the Daily-ish Email!
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!