paul wheaton wrote:I think the really sad part here is the demonstration of how permaculture will only allow the people with really thick skin to be in a leadership role. I've been told that I am now a global leader and that is seriously fucked up. There should be a hundred people far better than me, and far more pleasant. Willie Smits is quite pleasant - maybe we need a hundred more of him.
At the same time, Sepp Holzer's model is what we turn to for cold climates. Sepp is famous for being harsh. And in podcast 111 I explore the idea that we, sepp's audience, are so incredibly mean to him that we make him that way, OR the same audience was so incredibly mean to all aspiring leaders, and 99% of them decided to go quiet rather than continue to go through the gauntlet of nasty.
This is sad. I have kind of thin skin at times but even more of a unwillingness the older I get to just deal with PEOPLE so have limited ideas on how much I want to lead and how much I just want to show people how I live instead and let them take what they like.
On the issue of Paul being avoided, I will wait until October when we visit Wheaton Labs to make a final decision. From what I have gleaned thus far, I believe he and I are quite alike. I'm loud, opinionated, knowledgeable, helpful, and often jump into a leadership role. Some people get pissed at me jumping in and taking charge or mad that I voice my opinion. But there are many who appreciate the way I get things done and the way I share what I know and by how hard I work. Lucky for me, most people look past my loud, brash, pushy times because they see how big my heart is and how much I truly want to help make things better, work hard, and love those around me.
I have learned in my years to be more of a listener though it can still be a struggle at times. I have learned to not be boisterous, especially when I'm just trying to be funny... though I often still blurt out the off-color comment that even I realize in the moment, went a bit too far. I have found my life to be pretty darn successful and I can look back mostly with pride.
I don't know if Paul and I will be so much alike that we clash, but I'm sure looking forward to giving him a chance. It is discouraging that the Fouches felt a need to bias people against Paul/WL with such a limited experience. I have to admit this sets me on edge. I wonder if I need to really clarify with Jocelyn about our living arrangements in detail for the October workshops. I don't expect problems as I've heard from so many about how much love there is for Paul and Wheaton Labs. Yes, I've also heard, mostly from Paul, how many people think he's an asshole (which lends him a lot of integrity and integrity takes people a long way in my book, even the assholes). But I also comprehend that clear expectations are the best method for assuring no hurt feelings.
I too have the tendency, like Paul seems to have found with Esther, of putting comments out there expressing my expectations and finding people don't always have the confidence/integrity/assertiveness to reply back when they are not in line with what I'm putting out. I am often one to clarify if someone asserts something or comments about something that isn't clear to me or in line with my expectations so I can be sure of what we have going. But then, I'm a confident leader type... And typically, I don't have issue setting things up because I'm wordy as hell and usually people are like, "Yeah, yeah, we're good already!"
And I'm betting me and Esther's Mom would likely find synergy too.
My assessment, for what it's worth, is that Paul triggered Ester (being just like her mom) and the rest was justification for bad behavior. I've had that with people and have even just simply asked, "Do I remind you of someone?" when I find an unexplained over-reaction in an encounter. Mostly people can be really unaware of this human tendency.
I like it best when there can be a human moment followed by a discussion/resolution which lets everyone own their stuff and hear the various perspectives and then ends in hugs and forgiveness. It takes big people to do this. From what I have seen, Paul's a big dude so I have high hopes. Plus, I'm looking forward to a big bear hug.