Well, I noticed that if a woman was being specific and detailed in their profile then their decision was made and pretty final. That was my experience. I did try to contact a few of these women, but they would most often be put off or slightly offended with the assumption that I had not fully read their profile.
With online dating, he mentioned not contacting certain women because they said they wanted a taller man. I think that's a mistake. I contacted whoever I wanted and let them look at my profile and vital statistics and decide for themselves if something in there was a dealbreaker. Now I know studies have shown that men tend to have a certain type of woman and that's that. Women on the other hand tend to change their type based on their current partner's appearance. My husband is nothing like what I always thought my type was, so don't rule yourself out. Let the other person decide. If your conversation and personality click with the other person I bet a lot of other stuff won't matter so much anymore.
I'd say that being a man is a lot safer (with some qualifications) than being a woman, and that includes safety from this high level of bullshit. We don't have the fashion element so much, but looking good is still pretty important, but looking big and tough is better. If looking good get's involved, then generally this also equates to narcissism, however. We have our own stuff that we are told to be, but its not so blatant and its not always so destructive as what is done to women. Women do not really notice that a man in North American society is expected to always be strong, and to not show his difficult to deal with emotions unless it is anger. As much as social advances have helped society in general and women in particular in the post WW2 era, the world among men has changed only slightly. This constantly being strong (not just physically, but emotionally) business takes its toll on men since everything else is buried or hidden from society, and comes out in the breakdown of intimate relations. The type of strength that is acceptable in the society of men is one that either puts other people down or props himself up. Strength of character need not be necessary for such man; his character has been undermined by these societal expectations. If a male can successfully navigate the social labyrinth to both put other people down and prop himself up, then all the better. If a man does not do these things, then he is not really manly enough for many social circles, especially amongst men. The interesting thing is that a really well-rounded man, in this society, with these cultural expectations, will be able to do all that and still give the impression that he has a strength of character and the abililty to show true affection and love. If he's able to pull off that neurotic acrobatic act then he's liable to be really really successful in this dysfunctional society.
Something that seems a lot of people are unaware of is how much this society (American, can't speak for the others) programs a woman to feel inadequate if she doesn't have a man. From the clothes for sale at the stores that are designed to appeal to men, the music on the radio that tells girls it will take a man to make her a princess, the female politicians who get harassed for not looking like a model, the ads for everything, the other women who openly pity a single woman, the movies that never seem to end with the woman walking off confidently into the sunset alone, it's really serious programming. Start watching it, it's horrifying when you look.
Yes, you are probably right there. Introversion is a genetic trait that we are born with, but it should be added that most people are not introverted or extraverted; They have some levels of both depending on the setting that they find themselves framed in in any given moment and these elements within this spectrum do tend to change somewhat throughout a person's life. That's what the modern studies seem to say. People can have more or less introverted tendencies, but they are generally not just introverted. It's more of a spectrum issue, rather than one of Black and White, This or That. Here's an article about this from Psychology Today ; I think of it more of something like Aspbergers. There are so many different levels of it, that it's really hard to nail down to a set definition.
This situation you describe, along with your feelings about it, and the fact that you keep talking about fear really makes me think that what you're talking about is social anxiety.
I didn't see any other videos that showed that. I assume that he must have dug under it so that he could gain the initial teeter totter effect and or the rolling lubricant of pebbles. I've been onto other 'research' and haven't gotten back to exploring this.
Did he show how to get one of these blocks that first inch or so off the ground?
A person can create criteria that make a person acceptable or not to be a partner. I would not call this prejudice; that's common sense about knowing yourself and your own needs, in my thinking. I'll explain with an example from my world: I'll never find compatibility with a tobacco smoking woman. It's an automatic turn off for me. It's a deal breaker. And I'm O.K. with ruling out ladies who smoke tobacco, even if they are otherwise attractive and potentially compatible in lots of different ways. The nature of loving someone is going to mean accepting their flaws, but it does not mean that when searching for a partner you have to compromise things that you just can't live with. There is a difference between passing judgement on someone and using discernment towards getting what you need. In the former, I would say that people who smoke tobacco are such and such a type of person, blah blah badmouth, blah blah, judge judge judge. In the latter, I would say, "I'm the type of person that does not want to live in a tobacco smoke environment. I grew up in a household with constant smoke and I really didn't like it then; not one little bit. I don't like to be downwind of smokers, let alone cohabitate with them, so I'm choosing to not advance my relationship with this person as a partner, and even as a friend it will be challenging as I will always have to be upwind." The way I see it, this difference between discernment and passing judgment means that prejudice does not need to be involved in the former. Discernment is about making good decisions for yourself; it's not really about the other person.
Dating taught me some of that too. To begin with I wanted to be openminded and not rule out people based on what felt like prejudices. After a couple dates I started ruling out people who labeled themselves spiritual or religious or had kids or smoked pot. I didn't want to be that kind of person but it turns out I am and just like you shouldn't choose a partner who you want to change, don't try to change yourself to be with someone either.