My wife also is very fond of the manicured and more ornamental look. Our compromise is that the front
yard is hers and the back is mine. This year I added a long
swale that I planted with some ornamentals. It has a few of the "black lace" elderberry bushes witch look really nice, very much like a japanese maple. I also planted lettuce all over the swale and it has turned out awesome. Not really a perennial, but it readily self seeds and looks great. I did about 4 different lettuce varieties ranging from dark red leaf lettuce to very light green stuff and it really works well from a visual/groundcover/tasty-treat standpoint.