A small ready made family would be ok, if they are nice, but I would also like to have kids of my own.
Imagine if you were the only one who could save the lives of 100 children. Would you take that responsibility? How much hardship would you endure to save those children, keeping in mind that no one else can do it? If you are in that situation, than you have a very strong responsibility, correct? You can't just blow it off, or 100 kids die. This is fairly similar to my situation, which makes it pretty hard for me to find someone. I have a plan that will end poverty and save mankind. So it is not about saving 100 kids, more like saving billions of people, many of which are children, and all future generations. This is a very strong responsibility, and I've been working on it for 20 years. I can not explain it to anyone, which makes me the only one who can do it. i don't really endure too much hardship, other than working very hard.
'Course, I don't need anyone to unload this responsibility on. I am extremely confident that I can do this task. The only real fear I have, is I am not sure I can do this task, if I am alone. There is an old saying, behind every great man, is a great woman. The man and woman can be used interchangeably in that, it works either way. What it means, is we all need need someone in our corner, someone building you up, giving that emotional boost to make us powerful. You can either build up your mate, and make him a better person, or you can tear him down and making him a looser. Anyway, what I fear, is if I have to do it all alone, I imagine, I'll eventually give in to the "what's the point" thinking. It has been hard fighting that for 20 years.
My friend said yesterday, that my level of intelligence is probably in the top 5% in the world. He says, somewhere in my mind is a billion dollar idea. I have several, actually, but I lack the $10 to $100 million needed to get one of those ideas producing money. His thinking, (same as mine, actually), that I need to forget about trying to get funding from anyone. I need to get rich, and then use my own money to do my plan. I don't need much money, but I do need more than I got.
I make up for my "genius" level intelligence, with my incredible sales ability. Incredibly bad, that is. Absolutely terrible! If I have to compete with anyone for a job, I won't get it, so I have to find alternative ways to find work. This also comes into play when I try to find love or even friends. Even though I'm a very nice person, very intelligent, very interesting to talk to, even so, for the first 30 years of my life I didn't have a single friend. Only after I stared working on my plan to end poverty and bring world peace, did I start to make friends. Most of them (maybe all), actually just want something from me.
If I found a partner with real sales ability, with some drive, someone who could fill in those little things I lack when it comes to starting money making businesses, it would probably only take 10 years to own the entire world! 'Course my objective is not to own the world, but rather to get the people to own the world. As the old saying goes "and the meek shall inherit the earth".
I am also extremely humble. EXTREMELY! I know, that is extremely hard to believe, considering the things I just said. Being humble does not mean I'm an idiot, nor does it mean I don't know I'm intelligent. Knowing I am intelligent is not really any different than knowing I am white or tall or whatever. It is simply observing the obvious. In fact, I believe it is my being humble, that makes me intelligent. Through humility, I can collect much more information. A homeless bum, might hold the secrets to the universe in his mind, and only someone with humility can get it from him. No one else would listen. Arrogant people close their minds to many sources of information, while humble people are like magnets or sponges collecting information from everywhere, all the time.
I don't like compliments. They make me uncomfortable. Even so, I like to tell people about my ideas, even though I know nobody likes new ideas. Only the inventor thinks his invention will work. Everyone else thinks it is stupid, this is true of almost every idea anyone ever comes up with. So I don't really know why I like to tell people my ideas. Maybe it is my pride of accomplishment, like a mother hen shows her pride, by telling everyone, when she lays an egg.
With people I don't know, I'm quiet. I don't know what to say. When I know someone, I love to talk, but only intelligent conversation. In a group of 3 people, I'm almost always the quiet one. That's my humility and kindness. I don't like to push my way in.
I really like hugging and cuddling. If I had to choose between great sex with no cuddling, and lots of cuddling with almost no sex, I think I'd take the cuddling.
'Course, I have almost no experience. I was married for 20 years, but I think she's a lesbian. So I had 20 years of almost no hugging, cuddling, kissing, sex, or even talking. I was like a piece of furniture to her. I never cheated, but had plenty of offers. She said she doesn't love me, and divorced me. I have actually been wondering for 20 years if she loved me. Also she treated me like an idiot about once a week or so. Even so, we had a happy marriage. Not a single fight in 20 years. Only a few small arguments, less than 10 in the whole 20 years. Did I mention I am extremely easy to get along with? I'm extremely fair, humble, kind, easy going, etc.
I have a theory, called Highlife Theory, which explains what God is, and provides some proof of his existence. I know of more proof that I didn't put in that though. People choose what to believe anyway, truth is irrelevant to people. I do not call myself a christian. I have my own religion. My parents also had their own religion, and I mine is largely a continuation of it. Basically, I believe God is Love. 'Course, I explain this much more thoroughly and deeply, with lots of big intelligent sounding words. Just kidding! Actually, I try to write to be understood with easy words. I believe each person should do their own bible study or form his own believes.
I no longer say his/her, because in correct English, his is actually gender neutral. All male pronouns are actually gender neutral, and can be used whenever gender is unknown.
I don't drink or smoke or do drugs. I like to play sports, but I don't like to watch sports. I like dancing a lot, and when I go out dancing with friends, they often find themselves embarrassed to be around me. Dancing is fun, and I like to have fun. I also like to sing. I usually don't embarrass people to much though. The best dream I ever had, was just me, outside somewhere near a park, singing White Rabbit really loud. I don't know where the sound of the instruments came from... I woke up at the very end of the song, totally out of breath. I sounded awesome though ;) 'Course, after waking up, first thing I thought to myself, is I hope I wasn't actually singing out loud. I'm sure the police would have come if I was though.
I also sometimes play guitar badly, and piano, also badly. I never get any time to practice. I probably play good enough to play in a crappy band, and that would be lots of fun. I've actually had a couple practice bands, but they never played in front of people.
I like many different kinds of music. Rock and Roll is my favorite, especially high energy songs. I like a lot of country songs too. Lots of other types too.
I believe WW3 has already started. Some people might think of this as doom and gloom thinking. I think of it as an adventure. I love adventures. I find adventure in many things in life. Whenever something goes wrong, it is another adventure. Something that needs a solution, and I am very good at finding solutions! I want to survive WW3, and I want to find someone who wants to survive it with me. From what Jesus says, I suspect we have about 3 years to prepare. 'Course, Jesus says over and over and over again, that we know not when it will come, so we just need to be prepared. Probably because no one would listen, even if he gave us an exact date. People stick their heads in the sand, and pretend everything will be fine.
I don't want someone who will get the covid vaccination ever, no matter what. The purpose is to reduce world population. People often say "they would never do that". Yet, we keep telling them the world is over populated, and asking them to do something. I disagree, the world is not over populated at all, and can easily support 100 times as many people. But other people keep saying there's to many people, so at some point, you have to expect that they will do something about it. How many ways can you interpret lowering the world population? It means either no more kids, or killing people who are alive, or both. It is not that they want to do bad, they are just misguided. Anyway, society as a whole, gets a sickness sometimes, and to survive, you have to know when to get out of society, for a bit. I saw a video about a guy who had 20,000 elephants killed, to try to stop desertification in Africa. He said the problem actually got worse. Turns out there was not to many elephants, there was not enough. We just don't understand nature well enough, so we make mistakes. Often really big mistakes.
The nicest thing anyone ever said to me, is that "you are so wonderful to talk to, because I feel I can tell you anything at all, and you don't care". I know it sounds funny, and is funny. He was having marital problems at the time, and needed someone to talk to. You know how some people don't like to bother other people with their problems. Don't want to make them feel bad. I'm like that too. He was saying that he can talk to me, 'cause I won't feel bad. Not much can bring me down. If someone needs me, I make time for them. Even a stranger.
I am a high school drop out, self taught engineer, who knows manufacturing, automation, mechanical, electronics, and programming. I spend to much time on the computer. I have done a lot of research and thinking about aquaponics and methane and various other whole ecosystem based food growing systems.
20 years ago, I married a girl in Ukraine, and we have two kids. 20 years in a nation where no one speaks English, has gotten to be to much for me. I'll miss my kids, but I just can't stand it here, so I'm moving back to the USA. They took it extremely well. The divorce is very happy. The logical, rational thing, when getting divorce, no matter how you feel about, how much it hurts, make it a pleasant experience. That way, I may get to see my kids in the future. Strange how it hurts so much, even when you are absolutely sure that it is a good thing.
I really want to live in a rural area, growing food. Could be totally away from people. Anyway, to survive WW3, that is needed, but I want to live that way anyway. I want us to grow all our own food.
Lastly, I want to say, that I do not want to date or talk or any of that. I want commitment! If you think I'd be good for you, tell me whatever you think I really need to know about you. The make or break things. Then if I think you would also be good for me, I propose that we make a commitment to sort of trial marriage, with no sex. Don't get me wrong, I do want sex, ideally every night, but I want us to really get to know each other first. This avoids breaking up a perfect match, because of a bad date or something. It also tells me, if you are willing to do this, that you also believe that what makes a marriage work is the commitment to work at the relationship. Love grows over time, as long as both people work at the relationship. Intimacy gets better, if two people work at the relationship. Every part of marriage improves over time, if both people work at it. If you understand that, than hopefully you'll be able to see that there is no need to date or talk or anything before hand. We can make that commitment to give it 6 months or so. 'Course, feel free to make a counter proposal, if you want to do it differently. 2000 people married complete strangers 40 years ago, with less than 25% ending in divorce, so this method is better than the regular way by far.
Justin Rhodes 45 minute video tour of wheaton labs basecamp