I think it's time.

I've been on permies for years and many have known of my difficulties and reluctance in regards to relationships. But I think it's time to acknowledge my desire for a partner. I've had a painful and difficult life, and am damaged because of that, but I survive. I am strong and resilient. I'm not vain and am not interested in those who are. I care little for size or appearances. I am very active and don't like lazy. I'm opposed to hierarchy by nature, something of an anarchist, but not prone to labels. I am against organized religion. Pro LGBT, neuro-diversity, anti-racist, opposed to anti-vaxxers(one of my kids is immune-compromised).

I have 80 acres in southern Oregon that I share with some of my adult kids. I'm 51. I have 4 adult children, 32, 28, 26, and 25. Three of my kids currently live on the property with me but my youngest will be leaving after their marriage this May.

I'm not going anywhere, if you want to meet me here, let me know.

So I found a picture.

After re-reading my post, I think that I concentrated on what I don't want and little else. I'm a gourmet chef, classically trained Cordon
Bleu. I'm working on being self-sustainable. My love language is service, largely feeding. While my kids live on the property, we have two houses and are planning on adding more. We do like our privacy. I don't really have a gender preference, that isn't a determining factor for me.  I'm really looking for someone to join me in my permaculture dream. I feel like I have a lot to offer.

I'm a 51 year old woman. I'm not really interested in getting involved with anyone much older than me. Been there, done that.

I'm not sure what else I should disclose. Maybe someone could chime in with recommendations.

Hi Stacy

There's no way I'm going to be thinking of joining you in your permaculture dream, if only because of the distance involved, but we have some things in common (and some things very different).  I'm a 51 year old woman too.  My kids are 16 and 23.  I don't really have a gender preference. I haven't had a painful and difficult life.  I liked your post, it was honest and informative.  I hope you find someone just right for you!

Thank you Hester. It's nice for me to hear that not everyone has had such a painful life. My friends try to remind me of this because it colors my life so much, though not as much as it has in the past. I try to spend some time each day enjoying my property and being grateful that I have this place. I live in a truly beautiful place.

Damaged, aren’t we all on this journey?  If you are not actively working on healing yourself, then not sure.

Antivaxxer?  If in reference to the Covid vaccine, booster etc, I’d suggest listening to the front line doctors speaking out. Won’t share my poem on the subject.

Pondered moving your direction if my divorce ends poorly and I need to move your direction.

Enjoy cooking and making cheese myself… going to start making gin with the waste whey protein.  Anyway I think you have espoused some values…. But are you spiritual, if so how.  

John - I have been actively working on healing for decades and have come a very long way. Unfortunately, as many on this site know, I lost my grandson to SIDS a couple of years ago and the grief has been devastating. I am coming back out of it at this point.

To me vaccines are part of people care, how to care for the most vulnerable of us, including the immune-compromised.

I have dabbled in many religious ideologies. I would say that at this point I'm mostly into earth based spirituality. I try to see the connectedness in everything around us. I understand that religion can provide solace for many and I would never try to take someone's solace from them. Life is hard, we all need comfort.

Oh and I’m getting divorced because of an autonomic nervous system disorder that might require going down a path that I’d prefer not to.  I’m taking menopause herbs again to stabilize my heart rate at optimal levels.  I get off and I feel the stress and my heart rate pops over 100 bpm generally doing nothing.

More at peace with life than any time i can remember

Rapid heart rates are uncomfortable. I had supraventricular tachycardia, that caused a heart rate over 200 for extended periods of time. It was exhausting. Thankfully 20 years ago it was repaired with catheter ablation.

Sorry about your losses.

While I'm sure that my specificity has chased some off, there's a reason for it. I know who I am and what I'm looking for. I'm not looking to be changed or convinced I'm wrong. Please do not message me if that's your agenda, as some have.