Outrageous Claims and Blatant Falsehoods - Garden Tales

The rules are thus:

- must be a gardening/homesteading/permie story

- credible evidence is optional; anecdotal evidence is essential

- images may or may not indicate it actually happened, but would be fun to look at regardless

- never let the truth get in the way of a good story

My compost heap is so happy that when I hold up my cellphone and run it through Google's language translator, they are singing the Hallelujah Chorus in full harmony.

Sorry, it's dark out, can't post the actual audio.

I'm such a talented gardener that even my garden stakes start to grow.

No really, I can get photos. I'll post them later.