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How many cords of wood in a chainsaw?

 
gardener
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master steward
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Points for creativity, but I can't help but think that some people have too much time on their hands...

 
Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he'll rob everyone. Even tiny ads:
The new gardening playing cards kickstarter is now live!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/paulwheaton/garden-cards
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