When I
published my book, I started getting emails. About half a dozen people decided they needed to correct my mistakes.
The funny bit is, they 'corrected' the parts where I shared my personal observations. As if they were there, at that moment, and saw something completely different (they weren't there). Most of what they wrote, parroted what the internet had taught them and that I had contradicted the internet... well, that couldn't be allowed.
And then there's one guy, I'll get to him in a moment.
But first, I want to talk about why I wrote the book.
I learn best from a very specific style of book. The author has opinions, is willing to experiment, willing to share their mistakes as well as successes, to share what they don't know yet, and most of all, are willing to share points of view that differ - and cite their sources. For knitters out there, Elizabeth Zimmerman is the ultimate example of my best kind of author.
When I wanted to learn how to grow clothing, there was no book like this. I could see some people well equipped to write this book. Some of them in my own town. They have 50 years
experience more than me and even a couple of them talk loudly about how they are working on a book or are great writers.
And yet, 5 years. 10 years, 15 years passed and not one of them had written more than a few lines.
The book I needed wasn't getting written. And that really pissed me off.
Why weren't these talented people not writing
books so the rest of us could learn?
Why were the books already written so stupidly difficult to understand? Someone should write this damn book!
And then it softly hit me.
I am someone.
I've been spending the last 15 years learning about this subject. I've been volunteering to help others with their work. I've been taking classes and had several requests to teach classes. I've written articles for magazines (on their request). I've learned that like all
gardening,
the answer is "it depends but this is some of the things to look for and how to make adjustments". I could share my own experiences and show people where they could look for specific information. The more I learned about this topic, the more I learned that there aren't many hard facts available. But the ones that are there, I can cite my source and maybe over time, we will learn new things.
So I spent a few weeks and wrote a book. Then I got rid of 90% of what I wrote and it turned out to be a mighty fine book. Of
course it took the help of many wonderful people and the entire permies community to make it happen. But they wouldn't have been able to help if I hadn't written that first draft.
For a niche topic, I'm amazed at how many people are interested. In writing it, I was able to see that I already knew all that stuff I sought for in this book that I was waiting for other people to write. It just needed to pull together in one place. Although most of it is vague in that it encourages people to try things and observe - it also has some recipes of what worked for me and what worked for others as a starting place.
But you remember that one guy. The one I didn't talk about yet?
Yep, him.
By the time he got my book, I was going through some rough health stuff and spending more time in hospital than out. I am also terrible at answering emails. By way of explaining why I never replied to him (or any of the others who took the time to correct me). But mostly, I couldn't see the point of replying to someone who begins with "you are wrong" and every sentence starts with "you should..." and "you must...". They just needed to have their say, there's nothing I could say that would change their mind and nothing I wanted to say that would make them happy.
But this one guy.
He didn't write me every day. But most.
He went through my book, line by line, writing hundreds of words for my every one, on what I said wrong, what I
must correct. How I
should do what he says. And so on. Often contradicting himself day to day. I took a couple of dozen of his emails and the average word length was 3,000 per email. He insisted and used very strong words like
should, must, required to... and boiled down, he wanted me to recall all the books I published and rewrite it according to his direction.
And like the other Correctors, was focused on the parts where I talk about my personal expierence. Because what I observed didn't jive with what the university had taught him was correct.
This went on for about 6 months.
6 months, 20 emails a month, and an average of 3k words per email. That's more than twice a very, very long novel. Or to put it another way, he could have written 12 books the size of mine.
He could have easily written a book the way he felt it SHOULD be written. Saying the things he felt SHOULD be said. He was a good
enough writer for that.
Instead he wasted so much time telling me how I must obey him. He put his
energy telling other people how to live their lives instead of taking action for himself and making the world a better place.
Humans have a nasty habit of negativity bias. It's a survival thing. We pay attention to that which might cause us harm and learn from it. Otherwise, that striped fuzzy thing in the bushes might eat us.
All you need to know about negativity bias and how to battle it.
And so thousands of people (well, over a thousand) have told me how much they love the book and how it's given them courage to try something new. It's those half doze or so Should-ers who bother me.
They are so upset that I didn't write the book they wanted to read that instead of going out there and writing a better book (which would have been the best vengeance ever!) they wasted their time on someone who wouldn't listen to them. me.
It got bad enough that I learned how to filter my emails and have now added "should" to the auto-junk filter.
They took more energy than all the other lovely people combined. And every so often, when I think it's done, I get another one to add to the list.
I'm learning something else now. A totally different thing.
What I've noticed, is that most books, websites, and communities loudly proclaim a specific Myth as
fact. I know it's not. Most of history didn't need this Myth. I've met loads of people who don't waste time on the internet who don't subscribe to this Myth. And yet, they won't write the book I need.
I really want a book on this topic that busts through these myths. There's one, it's good, but it's not enough. It's vague. It requires the reader try stuff for themselves to find what works for them. Out of the 600 books on the topic in the library, it's the only one that doesn't perpetuate the Myth.
And I've been very tempted to learn enough to write the book I want to read. I almost want to battle the Army of The Myth!
Then I see conversations online - because I still follow some author communities - and see the people telling others how they should write a book a specific way. Someone should write this book...
... and I think "aren't you someone?"
I wasn't an expert when I wrote my book. I still am not. But I wrote it anyway in hopes that someone - maybe one of these Should-ers - would get a fire under their ass and write a better book. I'm still waiting for those better books.
So yes, I'm saying I'm too tired to battle The Army of The Myth and write anther non-fiction book. Even though I kind of want to.
And yet, I'm also saying "you are someone - if you see something lacking in the world, write your own damn book."
I acknowledge these two things don't necessarily jive. But
c'est la gare (that's the railway station).
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To buggery with the naysayers! I was laughing with an American friend about people watching me knap an arrowhead. Five minutes ago they'd never heard of it, much less seen it done, and now they're offering suggestions. He replied that he'd had people watch him and then say That's not right- the "Indians" used to heat the rock and drip cold water where they wanted to remove a flake- my Daddy told me. He learned to sound interested and continue rather than correct them and have it devolve into You calling my daddy a liar? 
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