Emotion in Decision Making

They say you never know what you have until you lose it. It may seem weird but I know this is true because I lost my emotions.

I am not sure when it happened. I know it happened rather suddenly; I had a very prominent job on the railroad, had to public speak a lot and got the salary to match. But I had to give it up because suddenly I just could not get before 300 people, be in a board room and hash out hard realities, or defend my position in private settings. I did not know where the loss came from, I had just lost my sister in a car accident (died), had spent 9 months at Ground Zero, had my parents home (and my childhood home) burn to the ground, and had my wife of 9 years leave me for a man she met on the internet. But it was not any of that...


I did not know it, but my Pituitary Gland was damaged, and thus my Thyroid went amuck. To lose your Thyroid means you lose all control of your emotions, and in decision making, you really need that. One day I am high on life, and the next I am going to take a shotgun and end it all. IT SUCKS! Now try to run a full-time farm like that; trying to make decisions today that will affect what happens today, tomorrow, next week and yes eve 7 years out. Farming is really that long term. And of course on on our farm I am the only one that generates money, and so to feed this family of 6 there is additional pressure.

But the point of all this is, the Thyroid can often be a slow demise. Even though I knew there was a major change, I did not get it until I look back and other heath issues caused the Dr's to see the problem. It need not be like that. If you, or someone you love is experiencing mood swings, or has odd emotion changes, look at the Thyroid as a possible culprit.

For me, I am limiting what I do for decisions until my medication levels off my mood swings. Vitamin D is almost non-existent, my hormones are low in areas and high in other areas, all this will take time to level off, then I can make smarter decisions on life. And while I am analytical almost to a fault, when I am as fatigued as I currently am, I just cannot make rational decisions.

I've been dealing with this a bit over the past few years, though mostly due to (A) being pregnant, (B) Being postpartum, and/or (C) being sleep-deprived.

Pregnancy made me tired, foggy-headed, emotional and dizzy. None of which are useful for making decisions. Postpartum hormones made me literally drop things to run and grab a crying baby. Even if said baby was being taken care of by someone else, I couldn't stand to hear them cry--I had to HOLD them, and my brain wouldn't function until I was. I also had postpartum depression for much of that time, and that sure didn't help things! And, I've been sleep deprived most of the past 4 years, too. Last night, for instance, my daugher had a stuffy nose and woke me up--I'm not kidding-- every 5 to 20 minutes, all night long. I didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at any time. My brain's not at full-capacity right now!

When my brain/emotions are compromised like that, I don't make any decisions unless I've had days to think/feel about them. It might be useful, if your brain keeps changing it's mind on things, to have a decision journal: "Today I thought about getting a ______. Here's why I thought it was a good idea. Today I thought I should move my sheep to this acre, here's why I thought it was a good idea. Today I thought so and so was a jerk, and here's why." The next day you might think of all new things, that might be totally oposite. Write them down! I know when I'm really tired/emotional/depressed, I cannot remember what life is like when I'm not depressed. I can't think back and access those other mental states. That's why journals are so great. They help jog that memory and emotional response so you can analyze what happened when you're out of the situation, and hopefully make a bit more reasoned response. Having things written down also helps with the mental fog. It's hard to hold all those pros and cons in your mind when your vitamin deficient/tired. Writing things down frees up that "working memory" to consider the pros and cons, rather than that "working memory" being all used up just trying to remember those pros and cons!

I also find it helpful to only make decisions--if I can help it--when I have no distractions. I.E. the kids are asleep,  the house is "clean" (i.e. all the evening chores are done), etc.

I hope things get better for you soon! I hate when our brains/emotions don't operate at full capacity!