Brody Ekberg wrote:This is a total tangent and probably could be its own thread, but do you view permaculture as almost a religion or ideology? I was raised Catholic but am not any sort of orthodox religion now. But I feel permaculture has filled the void in my life that I always thought a religion should. It answers all the questions Christianity couldn’t answer for me. It gives me purpose and meaning and hope. I wonder how many people feel similarly about it vs people who think its a cool way to garden 😆
Brody Ekberg wrote:I guess where I’m at now is, should a couple have to “make” a marriage work, or is that a sign that maybe they would be better suited (more easily happy and healthy) in a different relationship? Not trying to give you doubts about your relationship, just saying, my wife and I dont have children. If we’re tired of trying to “make” it work, I wonder if there’s a difference relationship that would more or less work by nature without having to “make” it. Oir dog is a Texas Heeler. Im sure I could make her be a good retriever or a good service dog. But shes bred to chase and bite. Shes more suited to herding, regardless of what I try to make her do. I drive a Subaru Outback. I could make it keep hauling loads of firewood. Or I could just get a truck and use the outback for less work intensive things. I could make myself do an office job in a cubicle. But I’m much more naturally inclined to do manual labor outside…
Brody wrote: You mentioned being non-judgmental and it’s obvious to me how that would be a good thing in a relationship. We judge eachother. I may judge her more than she judges me, and even if I don’t vocalize it she can feel it. But the thing is, if she’s doing something self destructive, counterproductive or honestly, kind of being crazy, how cant I judge her? At least internally. And when I feel so strongly about something and she has the complete opposite perspective and can’t justify it with any sound reasoning (flat earth), how cant I judge her? If it were just a random person on the street i could just laugh it off and walk away. But I live with this woman, i am committed to her and she may be the future mother of my children. If she’s being unreasonable, self destructive or kind of crazy, am I just supposed to let it go and think “to each their own”? I dont want our future children to adopt silly ideas, self destructive behaviors or illogical reasoning.
Brody Ekberg wrote:
I actually got into writing a bit after my revelation and one of the first things I wrote about was how she was my anchor. I was like a balloon filled with helium ready to float off into new, exciting, uncharted territory. Willing to risk suffering or death for a cause. And she was the string with one end tied to me and the other tied to the ground. It was romantic in a way. But also, made me wonder if I really wanted or needed to be tied to the ground. Is it better that way? Safer, sure. More familiar, sure. But better? I dont know.
I still feel this way. She anchors me to a lot of things that I would have let go of if i was on my own. That has been good and bad. But that string causes tension and is limiting. And sometimes she just wants me to hang around the ground, even though I’m full of helium… it just isnt my nature to want to ride the brakes on something I’m passionate about.
Part of it is age too. I mean, I’m young, healthy, motivated and passionate. I have a warriors mentality. I feel like the best way I can be of service to the earth at this point in my life is to bust ass, be productive as possible and make huge changes. One day I will be old, disabled, tired or dead. Then I will have to slow down. Then maybe my best way of being in service to the earth will change. But there are enough parasites, lazy people, unmotivated people, disabled people, old people and dead people already not being helpful. Shouldn’t us able bodied, motivated, passionate people do what we can while we can?
Then again, without her I would probably burn out, get injured and maybe even die an earlier death. Not that any of that is bad or wrong, but its also not helpful either…
Brody Ekberg wrote:I dont know of any successful marriages where both the husband and wife share passions, hobbies, perspectives, goals and attitudes towards life. I mean, I see couples that appear that way in public and on social media, but I have not talked to them. Everyone I know personally and have actually talked to are in the same situation: they are almost always on 2 different pages with their spouse. Its a constant balancing, compromising, arguing, head shaking confusing mess. This goes for young couples like us, older couples like our parents and even older like our grandparents. It seems that marriage is a process of settling, compromising and always kind of thinking the other is a little bit crazy or “wrong” in a variety of ways.