Vague Fatigue

For those that do not know, I have cancer that is confirmed to be spreading. How far, is yet to be determined but what is debilitating now is shear fatigue. I mean debilitating! This has not always been evident in my life, but I strive for integrity...doing what i say I will, but today I let a friend down. he is in desperate need of help and wanted me to work fo him, and it seemed perfect; part time work, whatever hours I wanted, and take off for Dr appointments as needed. The pay even was not to bad. But this morning I told him no and went home.


Some days I nap 3 times a day. Today I slept half the afternoon. Its been an hour and I am ready for bed. When I do manage to do work, I get out of breath and tired after 10 minutes of "work". That is considered a good day, most days I do not even get started as any job seems overwhelming even if it is a small task. And finally, I find myself just staring off into space, not even in thought, just staring blankly...


What is wrong with me? My team of Doctors are NOT helping me get to the root problem.


Testosterone. My Pituatary Gland is shot, tumors on it have taken it out, and so my testosterone levels are incredibly low. They are at 140 when I should be over 400. But I just fathered a child (though my wife had a miscarriage) which should not happen if it was an issue. But a look of low testosterone levels shows everything I am having for symptoms.


Cancer Fatigue. From what i read, this can range from people who have cancer and never experience this, to people who cannot lift a fork to eat they are so wiped out. I am on the upper side of this if I have this, but not the absolute worst. Sadly they say only people with cancer who have this can relate because it is nothing like typical fatigue. It is debilitating, so it really makes me wonder.


Depression. My wife thinks I just have this. Wifes tend to know their husbands better than we know ourselves, so who am I to argue. It could be true. For that that do not know I have cancer, but also had to stop working, sold my equipment, had my woodlot logged off and the logger stole all the wood. That is now in the court system for restitution. To pay our property taxes we sold off our flock of sheep, at the same time we found out we lost an unborn baby, and finally that my cancer is spreading. Quite the lumps the last few months. Most of it I handled pretty well, until I found out the cancer was spreading. Now...it is weird...I no longer "feel". I don't laugh, I don't cry...nothing!!

Trust your wife on this one, Travis. What you've described as an inability to "feel" anything is one of the soundest descriptions of depression out there. You could definitely have all of those root causes to some degree but given the amount of stressors that have hit you in recent months, you've got every reason to be clinically depressed. The good news is that with a little help that may be the easiest out of the three to improve. See if your doc will get you a referral.

And again, kia kaha for everything you're going though.

I'm going to echo Phil.  There are multiple reasons you could be so fatigued, but depression is a thing that can be helped with medicine.  Medicine that in general is pretty benign - it either helps or it doesn't, but it usually doesn't make things worse.

I would urge you to see your doctor.

We will be praying for you and your wife. That is an unimaginable amount to be going through all at once.

It might be partially depression, but I wouldn't say it's all of it. When I was pregnant with my daughter, for the first 2-3 months, I had the same horrible fatigue. No matter how much I slept, I was weak, short of breath, dizzy, foggy-headed and DRAINED. I had never felt so tired and useless--and I had a two year old to care for at the same time. I think my brain has blocked out most of that time period. Doctors just told me it was "normal." Doctors told me a lot of things were "normal" with both my pregnancies. I wasn't depressed--I was just a weak zombie.

The only thing I noticed helping a little--and it might have been placebo--was taking lots of electrolytes and drinking coconut water for the electrolytes. I think I recall you saying your body doesn't absorb nutrients like it used to--that could be part of it. Iron supplements might help, too. When my husband was extremely fatigued, we found out his iron was really, really low due to his Crohn's impacting absorption and all the internal bleeding. He ended up getting infusions and he started having more energy. Eating some liver or heart could help, too. They both have a lot of easy to absorb iron, as well as lots of other nutrients your body needs.

Another time I felt almost that weak was when the lymph nodes in my neck got all inflamed. My psoriasis had gotten bad, which had affected my lymph nodes, making me really, really tired/dizzy/weak/foggy-headed/etc. Once I got my psoriasis under control, my lymph nodes stopped being swollen, and I felt better. It could be your lymph system is all messed up from fighting cancer? Or you have lymph cancer? Does it feel like you have hard lumps on the back of your neck? I really don't know much about the lymphatic system, but maybe bring it up with the doctor, especially if you feel lumps back there.

I appreciate everyone's input. I know a person that can probably help me with the depression as seeing my Primary Care Physician is not an option. She never is almost because she is a local Dr and everyone sees her because it is so rural here. I like her, and she is proficient, but to set up an appointment today (May) means you might see her in the end of July. That means I have been using my Endrocornologist as a primary Care Physician, and that is not working well. I got to get a new one. I am a little gun-shy on taking pills though. But on that note, I know too a person cannot change something if they keep doing the same thing.

Nicole may be onto something as well. A HUGE part of my problem has been with a misdiagnosed biopsy. They initially did one and it came back negative, so my surgury only removed an enlarged thyroid, only when they tested it because it was the size of a mans fist, gray and lumpy did they realize it had cancer all through it. Had they known, they would have removed a lot more of my throat, including the lymphnodes there, and parts of my esophogus. (It is a hack of a way to lose weight huh?) They left it alone HOPING that it would not spread, but now it does not look like I was that lucky.

I guess the frustrating part is, I do not know who I am. My emotions are now entirely driven by medication, whether for a non-functioning pituatary gland, removed thyroid, or am I just depressed? It may sem like I am whining, but Katie and I are trying to make life decisions like selling/renting our home, moving to our other home in New Hampshire, and other life-issues to keep us on track, but how can WE make a decision if I am an emotional fruitcake?

Learning I was short on iron changed my life... suddenly, debilitating fatigue was treatable!
You can have a blood test done to check your levels, but if you can't get in for a test, a short trial run is not harmful for most adults. Get the common dosage supplements -85 mg I think- take one a day for 4 days. If you are deficient you will notice a difference pretty quick. Keep taking 2 to 4 doses a week as needed. If it doesn't work, you're not out much time or money.

I have actually had the test, in fact the last time I went in for blood work the Phlebotomist said it was the most vials of blood she ever took at one setting: 14!! I jokingly called her a vampire.

The results were actually the opposite regarding iron. I actually have really high iron in my blood, so much so that I am going to have to endure a host of blood tranfusions because my body cannot rid itself of it.

I did not want to say anything because everyone has been so nice on here, and Nicole was spot on with lymphomia issues (along with others that mentioned depression being the culprit).

A lot of people do not know this, and I think she is okay in me saying so, but Nicole and I have become really good friends. I only wished she lived closer because I think her and Katie, and me and her husband would assuredly be friends considering the many things we share in common. Considering the things I have shared with her, I was surprised she did not think I had depression, or at least, did not think that was a huge part of it. Someday, if I get the courage I will share something I shared with her. It has permicultural meaning because while vetran Suicide gets all the attention, the truth is, farmers are twice as likely to kill themselves as veterans. As an occupation, we have the highest incidence by far, and experts say statistics are low because many farm accidents may actually be suicides instead.

We are so sorry to hear what you and your family is going through Travis. I can not thank you enough for all you put on this website, so that I "met" you. You have been an inspiration to us all. We prayed for you last night, thousands of miles away in a different continent, culture and religion.
When I read your massages, depression is what I can relate your symptoms. Assuming it is depression, "feeling nothing" means it is time to search for treatment. Not serious treatment, but treatment that should be taken seriously. By feeling nothing, I mean when you see a picture of your loved ones do you think "well that is a good picture of my family" (in extreme cases like a robot), or can you relate your emotions with the ones in the picture. Another question is whether your emotions are complex, or they are simple/primitive (good vs bad, hate vs love -like only extremes; like you cannot describe feelings in between). You should be able to describe your feelings to someone you have spend years in A LOT more than couple of sentences. Things following this phase is ugly. It is definitely treatable, but there is no need for suffering. Things ahead are the definition of suffering in depression.
Couple of things might lead to depression. Quick and dirty: Lack of something (vitamins or minerals, sunlight - more physical stuff - doctors can rule this out quite easily but it is usually a bit more complex than, say, lack of vitamin D), emotional stress (things that you are going through, any one of them is enough to trigger), erosion of positive feedback from environment, medicines (you wouldn't imagine how come something so minor like cough- syrup can throw you off the track- also considering you have been on some serious treatment), also birth, drugs and bunch of other stuff. OR nothing at all! It is a phase of development. It just happens.
It is normal and also expected. A considerable portion of population goes through it at one point in their lives. Also, I seriously don't know how to put this delicately. Up to 80% of terminally ill patients suffer from depression. It usually goes underdiagnosed or undertreated.
Please find a psychiatrist and so spend some quality time with your loved ones. At least get it ruled out. Ordinary doctors might not have enough experience or knowledge.
Thanks for everything. In any case just go outside and feel the sun!
Edited: Just saw your massage. Best wishes for you and your family.

I wrote this back in January, just when I got so sick that I had to stop logging because I was physically unable to. I since have endured a lot since my health has deteriorated, we sold some of our equipment, had $15,000 worth of our forest stolen, lost an unborn child, and sold our flock of sheep to pay our property taxes. I am not as bad as I was then, but I do wish my team of Doctor's would help me get better. Anyway, a long read, but I called this:


Black Thumb

The snow squeaks under my snow boots as I step upon it on my way to a tree that stands majestically before me. Snow only squeaks if it is below ten degrees, and this morning the digital numbers on the thermometer of my house have a negative sign before them. The thermometer is not the only thing that tells me it is twelve degrees below zero here, and that is Fahrenheit and not Celsius, but almost everything.

I had to beat the gate latch with the back of an axe to get the gate to open, had a battery charger on the battery bank of my bulldozer all night, and used almost a full can of starting fluid getting the diesel engine to start. Even then I am not sure if the copious amount of starting fluid proved too much for the metal rings on one of the pistons because at such cold temperatures, metal loses its strength, and the engine now has a skip to it. I do the math in my head for a rebuild, easily a thousand dollars, not to mention the lack of production that will result from all the downtime. It almost is not even worth it to have started the lumbering machine up, as at best a day of intensive logging will net me five hundred dollars for the day, and that is when things go well. When it is this cold, experience has proven that everything takes longer, resulting in lower production and less money made.

Sadly, it is all about the money because if I had a choice I would not even be out here. Property taxes alone mean I must be just where I am, and despite the damage to moving equipment at such temperatures, at four o clock when my day started, I saw the dreaded email from my town, demanding a response, and more importantly a payment for a back-owed taxes. The words were coarse and haunting, yet typed while he sat in a cushioned office chair, probably a supplemental heater under his desk because his thin argyle socks hardly help from the overnight chill of the office building as it dips slightly from seventy-two degrees down to sixty-eight. All this helps to form a tear in my eye from the cold, anger, resentment and jealousy that wells, and just as quickly freezes.

“I got the land, I gotta pay the taxes”, I say to myself, as I talk to myself, which is something I do a lot, and yes, I even answer myself. I spend ninety percent of my time alone, and with the exception of Ole Buck, who has become a friend these last two years; following me around with his big fourteen point rack since my skidder, bulldozer and chainsaw keep the deer hunters away in November, and the limbs and tops from the trees I cut, provide feed on which he can dine in the winter; I live a solitary life. Yet the statement I make to myself is the heart of all farmers; we pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, and try to soldier on, even though no one can predict the future, and for us the odds are stacked against us. Agriculture policy, government bureaucracy, and the fickle taste of American’s palettes all play a role in creating an environment in which we tread, yet have little control over it.

I wish I could talk to my wife about such things, but with four young daughters, she is forever preoccupied. Monday is grocery day at all costs, and when the kids are not in school, parent teacher conferences, school pick-ups, and church events all take up her time and concerns, so what is there to say? I hint, but even she misses the dire signs; “I am so tired”, “What about you getting a job?” “Is there anything we could save money on?” The pressure to pay our property taxes is mounting, made worse by the fact that we are already frugal. With no vices to blame, like cigarettes, drinking or smoking; emotionally there is nothing to fall back upon either. There is nothing to numb the pain of guilt for not working hard enough, and the incredible amount of fatigue.

The latter is not from depression, but rather from cancer that is confirmed within my body. It was discovered six months before when my chainsaw cut through a sapling that was bent over by a felled tree. When it whipped up, it sent my chainsaw flying into my face leaving me knocked out and a gash between my forehead. With no cell phone…a needless cost since I have no one to talk too anyway…I looked at my skidder for a second, saw it was hitched to too many trees for a fast getaway, and instead starting to run, the snow at my feet covered in spraying blood. I made it just past the stream, just past the halfway point to my home and passed out from exhaustion. Coming too, I saw the pool of blood in the snow and knew if I did not get up and run, I might never get up. Again, that solitary life, where it could be hours before anyone even suspects something is amiss, let alone that I might be out in the woods and in trouble. However, I did make it home, made a call to 911, and ultimately to a hospital where twenty stitches and four days in the hospital allowed me to recover. It was there, in getting my CAT Scan for my concussion, that cancer was found.

A few months later it was removed, but the town does not care if a farmer had surgery and could not work, or that the cancer depletes all energy levels. Every part of me is sore, and this includes the soles of my feet that are now feeling like blocks of ice in the deep freeze Maine is now in. I try to shake it off, to clear my head, of taxes to pay, a sputtering bulldozer engine, snow up to my waist and absolutely no energy. The doctor’s think blood tests show signs of my cancer spreading, but I already know it has; not because I am negative in nature, but because no one knows my body better than me, and I can just feel its affects.

And yet in some ways I feel fortunate because I have good insurance, a benefit of years of working for unions that provide benefits after retirement. In regards to health insurance, that is great, but in terms of the life insurance it is more of a curse. That is because I know I financially I am better off dead than alive.

As I step up to the tree and begin to bore my way through the first cut, what would have normally taken just a few seconds to power my way through, takes an agonizing amount of time despite the sharpness of the saw due to the frozen wood. Still it is that same saw that can give my family what they deserve, not from the felling of trees that can be sold to a paper mill for money, but the taking of my life. Secretly I wish it would, and looking deep into the photos of me logging, a person can see it; not so much what is seen, but what is not. There is no safety gear, for if I make a mistake and my saw makes contact with flesh, what is it to the world? It has already happened three times, and it is not because I am too dumb to learn from my mistakes, but rather because I do not care if the next cut is fatal. I am just a dumb sheep farmer who misjudged income levels, cannot seem to work hard enough to pay my bills, and could relieve my wife of her vows of matrimony for life so that she could find someone better, someone with more energy, and whose dreams did not involve little white woolen balls, eating green grass, pooing out black pellets, that somehow makes red meat.

I have told her this, at least in my own way, telling her through tears that it sucks when your dreams die. She did not understand the gravity of the situation, and while she was sad and teared up, she has no idea how many times suicide runs through my head.

Even now, as a stream of sawdust spews from my saw; the thought invades…a shotgun blast to the head or the chest…which would be a faster death? I have thought of it so many times it does not even bring me to tears anymore, just a dark somber though of the details of it. I really do ponder which technique would be better. Just from this alone I know today will be a bad day as I know mulling suicide will beseech me all day…will bombard me a dozen times or more as I freeze out in the cold and ponder, ‘why do I do this?’

The truth is I know I am hardly alone, in fact, statistically speaking, I have the highest probability of actually following through with my thoughts. That is because I am a middle aged, ninth generation, full-time farmer. Despite the vast amount of media coverage regarding veterans and suicide, farmers have twice the suicide rate than veteran’s. This is a sad statistic as it is often stated, “armies travel upon their bellies.” This was pointed out one day when at age eighteen, and army recruiter who would not take no for an answer, took me to a restaurant and asked, “don’t you want to do something for your country?” Without saying a word, I gripped his plate of food and slid it towards me. He just looked down, then at me, then back at the removed plate of food and saw the point I was making, and later took me home and never asked again if I was going to join the army. The point was poignant; without farmers the country stops, even the greatest army in the world.

One reason the statistics are so murky on farmer suicides is that we have an ample amount of ways to carry it out. If I cut myself with a chainsaw and bleed to death, no one would be the wiser that it was self-inflicted, and not that of an accident. We also have access to massive equipment, so being driven over by a bulldozer is just as likely from and accident as from suicide, considering the high fatality rates associated with farming. All that and more means the statistics that are often cited for farmer suicides are probably low; very low. Self-inflicted gun-shot wounds are far easier to decipher, but considering the free access we have to them, it is no wonder they are often employed.

With the changes to the tax code, it is more than likely that farmer suicides will increase. This has been one of my most stressful years, and yet because of changes that were not in place just a few years ago, while I cannot even buy stuff to put in the Christmas stocking for my wife, on paper it looks as if this is the best year I have ever had financially. That says nothing about the payments my town is so adamant about receiving, yet I cannot even deduct that cost, making the stress even more pronounced. The reality is, I must work through flesh numbing cold, to make money that I cannot keep, and pay even more money for making that money again on April 14th. For the farmer this all seems so wrong.

“How patient will my town be: is the real question, and one I am not sure I know the answer too?

I have a history of always paying our bills, and love the feeling of paying off loans and being current on payments even if it means my family goes without, but there is a limit to trees that have grown to enormous size that makes valuable logs. Even now I am not logging to supplement my logging income, but rather to clear forest into fields so we can raise more sheep. Maine has lost most of its paper mills, and saw mills are failing as their own supplemental markets file for bankruptcy as well. In two years’ time, our forest, part of the American Tree Farm System has lost one-third of its value, and I am scrambling to convert forest into field while I can still get rid of the wood. This was not the way it was supposed to be, family forests such as mine, managed for sustainability were supposed to have its forest products purchased in difficult times as a reward for doing the right thing. Instead, the paper mills chose to not honor that agreement, leaving our well managed forests worthless. For me, this is forest that has been selectively harvested for nine generations. The pressure of losing such a long-standing farm is tremendous, and I would rather face the bite of one hundred shotgun balls to my chest or face then to be at the helm when all is lost.

My faith in God is pronounced, and so far, it has kept me from toting my shotgun to a far-off field and ending it all. It says in the bible that God will not give you more than you can handle, so how can I thwart his plan for my life by ending it via my own hand? Yet I have known many Christians who have lost everything too, and that includes farmers like me. For many I see their nine-hundred crosses dotted across in the mid-west from back in the 1980’s when they could not make their payments. Inevitably many of those farmers had faith in God as well, so how could they have taken their own lives? So far, the answer lies somewhere in the middle, keeping my shotgun resting on the rifle rack, but my chainsaw safety gear on a nail in the garage; should a logging accident end my life, so be it, it would be the ultimate relief from it all.

And so, I as I continue through the cold, notch out my tree, and make my back cut; skill allows the tree to start leaning over on its fateful arch to the earth. Somewhere along the way its branches hit a widow-maker and sends a large branch crashing down. I see the movement out of the corner of my eye and dart out of the way at the last second, and yet as it crashes into the frozen ground, I curse myself for instinctually bolting.

“Darn”, I say, knowing sadly I am not under it, and all my problems as a farmer are gone.

Death, a final loving gift to my wife and four daughters.

I had cancer a couple years ago also, tho not as spread as yours.
Started many therapies, essiac tea, cbd's (refined marijauna oil), every type of natural items I could find.

I had surgery a few months later and doctor said it was receding amazingly.

Good luck to you and your family.

Your "letter" you wrote is amazing.

I would highly recommend checking your Thyroid levels. If they are low you can take 2 Kelp pills and 3 fish oil every day. This helped me to get my levels back on track holistically, and helped with the energy situation.
Also, for general energy and libido I recently started taking tribulus terrestris. It's been working well.
For testosterone you can try taking Horny Goat Weed. DHEA is a very powerful testosterone enhancer but you definitely want to do some research on it, and work with your doctor to come up with a regimen. I think it's reccomended that you go off of DHEA every so often so your body doesn't get used to it and stop producing natural testosterone.

I hope this helps and wish you all the best!

Travis Johnson wrote:For those that do not know, I have cancer that is confirmed to be spreading. How far, is yet to be determined but what is debilitating now is shear fatigue. I mean debilitating! This has not always been evident in my life, but I strive for integrity...doing what i say I will, but today I let a friend down. he is in desperate need of help and wanted me to work fo him, and it seemed perfect; part time work, whatever hours I wanted, and take off for Dr appointments as needed. The pay even was not to bad. But this morning I told him no and went home.


Some days I nap 3 times a day. Today I slept half the afternoon. Its been an hour and I am ready for bed. When I do manage to do work, I get out of breath and tired after 10 minutes of "work". That is considered a good day, most days I do not even get started as any job seems overwhelming even if it is a small task. And finally, I find myself just staring off into space, not even in thought, just staring blankly...


What is wrong with me? My team of Doctors are NOT helping me get to the root problem.

Hi Travis,
I'd be one of those 'cbd proponents'  pain and depression are exhausting. the guilt that comes with so much need for sleep is also exhausting.

I had been anti-weed forever then my dr suggested it for the chronic pain and fibromyalgia.
I'd been on percoset for 20 something years, pain of 9 crushed disks. fibro after a fall down metal stairs.
CBD is extracted from buds of marijuana and takes away a huge amount with out making you high..they are now growing more strains with higher concentrations of cbd.

2nd bit of advice is to go as sugar free and reduce carbs as much as possible. cancer loves sugar.
I've been doing quasi keto for a year and it's helped lower a lot of things including inflammation and it has
let me skip afternoon naps.  

Hugs and prayers for positive changes
Michelle

Hi Travis
I am sorry to hear about your struggle. I do have good news though that there are many things coming out about healing from even the most catastrophic cancers. I have watched numerous Teli-seminars in the last year all about healing from all forms of Metabolic syndrome I have just started to watch this one and I already know it will be packed with fabulous information just on what I have watched so far. It is free to watch each days episode and the first one is up now until 9 eastern standard time tonight when they air the second one.
https://autoimmunesecrets.com/

It will start you on a path to not only regaining your energy but could very well save your life.

There are several other sites that I have listened to all the information that they have to offer and loved so much of them that I bought the programs. Worth every penny. I am no longer afraid of cancer in any way. I know what to do.

https://autoimmunesecrets.com/
https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/
and https://functionalforum.com/ which has doctors teaching doctors about healing without drugs or deadly chemicals. They have videos and podcasts that let you take back your health.

I wish you the best of focus and study. May you empower yourself with information and not let the mainstream medical community tell you that changing your lifestyle and nutrition drastically won't help. (The truth is It won't help them as you won't need their very expensive poisonous  protocols)

Major thing to note. Stop ingesting ALL forms of sugar and those things that turn to sugar. Cancer feeds on sugar. Go organic, investigate raw and grain free, high quality fats.  I have personal experience with turning my health around on the Ketogenic diet
https://drjockers.com/webinars/
Sincerely
Heather Hemphill

Oh Travis, I am so sorry to hear of your cancer. I lost my older sister to cancer 4 years ago; it is heart breaking to lose some one when they are young. My husband has been ill for some time, but has been on oxygen for almost 4 years. He does not have cancer, but a bunch of lung issues (not from smoking). He spends about 80% of his days in bed. He has absolutely no energy so he would understand your fatigue as well. When they tested his Testosterone, it was 4, yes 4. Which explains why in the 10 years we've been together we have had "relations" about 4 times. Needless to say, we both have depression. He started to put a new roof on last fall and it is still only about 1/3 done. If he does something, like work in the garden for 1/2 a day, he will be in bed for at least the next day, maybe two. 3 years ago, the doctor's said that he had less than a year to live, but I brought him to Boston, where they came up with a different diagnosis. They tried to put a stent in his trachea to keep his trachea from collapsing, Tracheobronchomalacia), but his malcia is further into his lung so their stent wouldn't reach it. They basically said, bye, enjoy what life you have left... Oh they sent him a huge bill, which the insurance wouldn't pay. The only income we have is disability, but It gets us through. Have you applied for disability? You would qualify I would think. I used to work for a non-profit that worked with people who had disabilities or were elderly. I am a master at getting people disability on the first try. If you need help, let me know.

Just my 2 cents

Not giving Medical Advise

I am just a servant of the Creator who tries to use all that the Creator has put on this Planet to Heal and promote Health

I use herbs and essential oils.

I have been using the below to help this person survive stage 4 Lung cancer for 5  years now.

The essential oils helped this person immensely with depression.
Used in a diffuser and also administered to the soles of the feet for the absorption into the body.

The ” Natural Treatment for Cancer" are just a few that have helped.
Not black balling traditional medicine. My friend is still seeing the "Doctor" and has been told to keep doing what they are doing.


Natural Treatment for Cancer
Essiac  http://www.herbalhealer.com/essiac.html
https://www.cancertutor.com/simoncini/
cancer cure baking soda, maple syrup    https://www.cancertutor.com/kelmun/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_PDkevhHnY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ2NgjGNdTU
Black Salve https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9zvI3ouw-U
cannabanoid oil
https://www.cureyourowncancer.org/how-cannabis-oil-works.html


Essential Oils for Depression

Bergamo

Lavender

Roman Chamomile

Ylang Ylang

Hi Travis, I'm so sorry to hear you have cancer and that you are battling depression also. The depression seems to have been covered very well by a few others, so I'll add my 2 cents worth with what worked, and is still working  for me. I had cancer, am now 4 years on since firstly getting it out, then looking around for options. I chose to not go the path of chemo and radiotherapy and instead decided to use food as my medicine, so far my recovery has been very positive. I occasionally feel tired but not that deep exhaustion you talk of. I did have that about the first 8 months but it has now passed. I occasionally will feel like a mid afternoon nap but that may only be once a month.

Being a permie I looked to my garden and for clean food, I pretty much eat from it now with occasional swaps with other members of my permie group. I chose to go on a plant based diet and use hemp oil supplement, 1 teaspoon under the tongue daily, also use the 100% hemp oil with balsamic vinegar as a salad dressing. I had a lot to learn about balancing my food correctly so I didn't lose energy. My body has recovered slowly but surely and I am still 'cancer free' as my specialist calls it. I found a website called Forks over Knives which had a lot of suitable plant based recipes. Occasionally I sneak the odd eggs or piece of fish, but usually only crave them around once a month or less now. There are lots more sites I have found since, but it was my starting point as it had everything all laid out to follow which made it easy enough that I didn't give up.

I haven't seen anyone else mention the importance of clean food when fighting cancer but I firmly believe the saying 'let food be thy medicine' is valid. So much of our food has been interfered with and negatively impacts our health. By growing and eating my own food I feel better than before I was diagnosed with cancer. The way you found out about your cancer after your accident, to me, means you were meant to find it in time and now you need to simply trust in God and just know you are in His hands, so can feel positive.

I do hope this can be of some help as do all the lovely people here. It could be helpful to pick out bits and pieces of their suggestions and adapt them to suit your own needs. Get the depression seen to also, and keep in touch with positive others here and around you, I've personally found state of mind DOES matter with cancer. Choose to relax and listen to your body, your wonderful wife and positive friends, nature and let go, and when your body says rest, then rest it helps you heal. Love and strength to you and yours.

So sorry to hear of your troubles, Travis, and my prayers are for your health.  But I have been healed from so much, & with God, it is possible.  Even though you are probably hearing way too much advice, I have to add my 2 cents, as I have been there.

First, I will be praying for you and your family.  Along with the suggestions from Michelle and Heather, I would also recommend 'The Sacred Plant' series too.

I have (had?) many autoimmune problems, disc problems and depression, a toxic work environ, and that series (AutoImmune Secrets) helped me a lot.  But it was having teeth pulled, getting the mercury out of my teeth (not on purpose, but through losses) and beginning the tooth protocols from WellnessMama (from several experts in bio dentistry) that began my healing.  It was like waking up, I started clearing my body of the toxins of the 12 or so drugs that I had taken for years, of sugar, so many food and environmental toxins, and I began eating mostly plants and only organic, having small bits of grass fed beef, and free range chix, etc, that helped me to freedom. Sunshine and prayer... It was a long journey of trial and error, but I later found functional medicine doctors online to help refine and clarify. Recent series 'Dirty Genes' helped too...

Surely, a lot to do and think on when already overwhelmed and depressed, so many issues. It is hard.  I spent almost 10 years in bed before I began finding my way.  But I have had maybe 5 years of cautious optimism (being Irish : )  and know that there are those that have healed themselves that are willing to help. Maybe begin with the story of Chris Wark, and how he healed himself. Ask 'mr googlepants' as he is easy to find. May God bless you in your journey, and may it be to the glory of God.  On that thought, maybe begin with John Bunyan, A Pilgrim's Progress, if you are not familiar with this story. I reread it regularly, to keep fresh my thoughts of the gracious provisions of our Heavenly Father in the midst of the trials of this world. Please, always, keep faithing.

New email I had tonight, Ocean Robbins (and his dad, John Robbins) did a series, Food Revolution Network, and tomorrow, (great timing, if you see this!) have a series part featuring Chris Wark.  Hope you can catch it : )  

Good tips don't come easy on the internet, I only hope something here will help.  My two cents comes from several years of going downhill, having not yet been diagnosed with sleep apnea.  I can email you a boat load of what I have written on the subject, having now been through 10 overnight sleep studies.  I was so exhausted that when I was told by blood tests that I'd had a recent bout of Mono... my reply was, I didn't even notice because I was already so exhausted.  The good news is, the Doctors did not help me with both Obstructive and Central Sleep Apnea (Mixed Apnea), but I was able to cure myself to a great degree by getting more oxygen into my system through slowly getting some exercise and working my way up to hiking, biking, walking, living again, over a years time.  They will tell you that you are depressed, and try to force pills, just to find out, but they made me worse... I was tired, not depressed.  I kept a level head about it because depression is an animal you don't want to feed.  It will take away your will to fight.  I'm still addicted to exercise, but it's a better addiction.  Let me know if I can email you about 50+ pages I've written on symptoms, treatments, and the language of sleep doctors.  I'm not in the medical field, but found my will to discover the cure was from having been an electronics tech in a research and development electronics lab for many years.  Remember exhaustion is a symptom, not a disease.  Cure the disease.  There is a lot online about The Truth About Cancer videos that use numerous methods in the realm of essential oils.  All our best.  Dean

Hello Travis,
I am sorry you are going through this, and wish you well.
Lots of great advise on here, you are going to have to feel what is right for you and your body. Our body and mind are amazing and are able to heal from anything.
In my work I have had a lot of success with people with different illnesses, I am not promoting myself but what I will give you is some ideas.

Please be open minded with this one, Trauma effects us in many different ways and prevents us from being healthy and happy. When Trauma strikes it puts a block in the brain this block then starts to effect us our body then starts reacting to this as a projection of us not being well in our soul. Everything is a fine tuned process both body and soul entwined, so if one is out it will show somewhere else.

I would have thought that you being ill was Trauma from the past, also the stress of now just accumulates. So in theory all you need to do is remove the blocks, then your mind can start to heal your body. The fatigue in my opinion is there to put you in a safe state it is the only way the mind knows how to do it. Unfortunately this has a massive effect on your physical body.

When the blocks have gone, and you start to heal you will need to stay away from toxic food, so in my opinion and experience you would be thinking about keeping away from Grain, Sugar, high processed food, meat and dairy.
Go with a vegan diet and occasional sardines, sardines as these have less negative things in than other fish. Stay away from white starches too if you have to eat potatoes then eat new.

Fortify with high doses of selenium, vit c, vit b3 fish omega 3's up your intake of Bananas (I personally have a shake in the morning consisting of (6 bananas, cocoa, coconut cream, flax seed ground and soaked, ice and water) flax see is brilliant for many things.

Bananas before bed help so does tulsi tea, it balances you

And the most important is Iodine, lugols 5% taken daily (if you want to know the protocol you can google it or I can send you a link)

With regard the blocks in your mind if you want to know more then just ask. I perfected this method over many years and I am currently working on a free manual for anyone that wants it as we all have the ability to heal ourselves.

I really hope this helps, I know this has helped others

Take care and best of luck

Darren

Hello Travis,
sorry to hear this.
I think that the video serie on you tube "The truth about cancer" and the site could help you a lot.
Important is organic food, no ogm, and without any toxin.
Essential oils could help too, Frankincense essential oil.
And Essiac tea.
Good luck!
Evelyne

Dear Travis,  Depression and hopelessness often follow diagnosis of debilitating and life threatening disease.  It is not a time for feeling perky.  On top of that, the other dissapointments just test your resolve further.  Sleep is a natural defense mechanism against too much stress producing input.  So, I would suggest working on the mental state to help you cope with the physical.  Two herbs that I have found that work on dark states of mind are black cohosh (yes it is good for men as well as women) and st john's wort.  Tincture form is best.  Both grow throughout the United States.  My husband saw a positive change using the black cohosh and I use st john's wort for pain as well as depression.  Big doses are not necessary, three drops, three times a day works well for us.  Again, these herbs work well for us, your mileage may vary.  Consider seeing an herbalist in your area.  If you are near Minnesota consider contacting Matthew Wood.  Find something that lifts you up and out of your heaviness.  Good luck.

ok my wife survived cancer stage 4 the thing that worked was acupuncture for energy she put on weight while on cancer therapy I have had low energy issues also no cancer I am on a black current  gemmo recommended by a naturalpathic doctor good luck

Travis Johnson wrote:For those that do not know, I have cancer that is confirmed to be spreading. How far, is yet to be determined but what is debilitating now is shear fatigue. I mean debilitating!

Hi Travis. I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I want to share with you information you may or may not have heard anywhere else. Please take it seriously because I do really know what I am talking about and the symptoms it all causes.

"Modern" life is simply toxic. When your body gets overwhelmed trying to protect you, cancer and fatigue are the result. It is possible to cure both, but to do so you almost have to deny everything "modern" medicine will be telling you because you cannot heal your body if you continue to poison it.

This may seem overwhelming, but if you want to live, please at least think about it and seriously consider it:

1) The crap they sell in grocery stores not only has almost no nutritional value, but it is full of substances our bodies cannot recognize or utilize. Step 1 is to start eating organic, whole produce (fruits and vegetables - the more local and colorful, the better).  Ignore all the propaganda that started when I was a kid in the 1960s about butter = bad, margarine = good; eggs = bad; whole milk = bad, etc. The people who ate tons of those things lived healthy and clear-minded into their 70s, 80s, and 90s+ and are burying their children who are only 50-60 and avoided them.  You can eat organic free-range eggs, whole milk, butter, grass-fed beef, bison, chicken IF you know your sources (no hormones, antibiotics, antibiotic- laced feeds, etc.) Avoid FAKE organic and "free-range" that isn't - I can assist in that if you're interested.  You cannot fuel a body to heal itself if you feed it crap.

2) City water and many Coops add chlorine and fluoride. The fluoride being used is not naturally occurring fluoride from nature - it is a bi-product of aluminum smelters which they would have to pay to dispose of as toxic waste. It also contains lead, aluminum, and other heavy metals and toxins.  Water is recycled in cities, and typically contains prescription medications that cannot be filtered out. As we are mostly water, you MUST get a HEALTHY, PURE source of WATER. A deep well is probably best as that eliminates pesticide run-off and airborne contamination. A shallow well is second best. Spring water (that actually IS spring water - unlike most bottled water that claims to be, but is just tap water) - if uncontaminated - can be excellent. If you just cannot find a pure source, get a reverse-osmosis filter or buy that type of water from a place like Whole Foods. You could also drink distilled water, but if you do you need to replace the missing minerals with something like Max-Well ionic sea minerals and Himalayan and Celtic sea salts. Note that most prescription drugs also contain fluoride. If you want to be healthy, you need to get off ALL medications. The common denominator among those who live long, healthy lives with clear minds is being raised somewhere they grew their own food without pesticides and chemicals + avoiding doctors and their medications.

3) Stress kills. Even if you do everything else, you have to find peace somehow or the stress will keep destroying your health. I have some excellent books written by a doctor who basically agrees with most of what I am sharing here. I would provide the names, but they are still packed. (I moved 2 days ago.) If you want them, I'll see if I can find them. Personally, I have great peace through my relationship with Jeshua, the Holy Spirit, and Our Creator. They have revealed these things to me over many years. [For those who take offense, know that none is intended. But this is, for me, the most important of all I have written here.]

4) When the electric grid was rolled out, it came first to cities and only later to rural areas. Few realize there was research that showed a dramatic increases in deaths over time and chronic disease in the cities at the time they got power. Then later, the same increases were seen in rural areas. Because the power roll-out was done at different times and the increases were very similar, it is obvious that living in an electrified house caused health issues that were not seen before electricity was introduced. (Part of that is due to the original knob-and-tube wiring which created worse magnetic fields than the Romex commonly in use today. But it is still unhealthy.)  Now we have added digital everything which all gives off strong fields. And WiFi which is horrendous for health. And cell phones carried on the body, used next to the brain. Research has shown cancer clusters related to high voltage power lines, cell phone towers and other transmitters. Brain surgeons are seeing increases in particular types of brain tumors that occur on the side the person uses their cell phone and in the exact locations where they held it. There are examples of women who have 3 breast tumors lining up exactly where the antenna on their cell phone they carried in their bra is located. Children in schools with WiFi are having spontaneous nose bleeds, severe headaches that go away when they leave school, fainting spells, and seizures. And then they put smart meters on every house which spike RF all day and all night. These interfere with the critical time of deep sleep your body needs to heal itself.

There are now 1000s or 10s of 1000s or maybe even millions of people with electrical sensitivities - some so severe they cannot be around anything electrical and are living in tents in forests and anywhere else they can find to get away from it. I just had to move on next to no notice because the neighboring house got HughesNet internet access and the WiFi was so much stronger it kept me up all night, caused chronic inflammation with fevers and chills; my throat swelled up so much I could not swallow and wasn't able to eat more than 1 bite for days (until I moved), and kept my stomach bloated all the time.

If I were in your shoes and I wanted to live, I would immediately find somewhere electrical-everything free and start eating only whole foods. Many with cancer have been cured by using nothing but organic fruit juices (because juicing removes the bulk) so you get intensive nutrition quickly. Some add coffee enemas. The key is to give your body what it needs to heal while eliminating as many toxins of all kinds as possible.

All of this can be challenging to do and figure out, but as I have already done it, I am happy to share my sources and notes with anyone who asks.

John Kohler who has a YouTube channel named "Growing Your Greens" is just one example of someone doctors said was a goner who got healthy through eating organic produce.

What most are advocating is functional medicine, and Gail, well done! simple, and clearly written; the basics, I might add clean air, but hopefully that goes along with your farm experience, x/ chem trails...

Several docs (the Institute of Functional Medicine has a list of practitioners by zip code if need) each advocate their own pure forms of nutrients, and only a few have started to say that all medicines and nutraceuticals act on a bell curve; so you should make sure you need them, then, as you take them, note daily how you feel, and as soon as you feel you have maximum improvement (yes, subjective), you should stop taking it.  Monitor the symptoms or the signs that made you believe you needed the nutrient, and as they appear again, again begin taking the supplement, but stop when you feel better.  Every body is different, and so, journaling your symptoms and reactions to treatments is imperative. That said, I would take nothing until you are eating and drinking the cleanest that you can, for a good period of time, everyone detoxes at different rates.

Most of the docs and practitioners on these different series' have come to their practice or specialty because of their own illness, or that of a close family member.  I truly hope that you have time to check out a few of them, it is so encouraging to hear their stories and their advice about how to proceed in your own healing journey. May God bless you, wisdom, endurance, grace.

Travis, I don't have anything to add on the health front.. a lot of interesting suggestions offered here already.

I've also been through major surgery as well as chemo for cancer, so I know what kind of job that does on one's life and on one's hope for a normal energy level. I still have bouts of fatigue and wonder what might be due to previous issues, to old age, or to a possible recurrence. I know what it's like to feel as though someone just took the batteries out of the back of the Energizer Bunny. It's the difference between simply "tired" and "utterly incapable".

What struck me was when you said, "I do not know who I am." And I think that could be an interesting point of exploration. This may not jibe with your christian ethos, but practically speaking we are not so much fixed individuals as Processes.. Processes which (majorly) involve organisms more numerous than ourselves. We are ecosystems. Buckminster Fuller put it this way: "I Seem to Be a Verb."

So I think it's ok to not know exactly Who You Are at a given point, since it's an ongoing and fluctuating proposition—a work in progress, of composition and decomposition both, depending on context. To some people that idea is a relief, to others it's ok.. whatever, maybe, and to others still, it is a terrifying concept which they would reject. I actually find peace in it.

I don't know what else to say except to condemn that thieving logger to one of the lower pits of hell (except he is just one of the ongoing processes, too).

I hope you can find some respite. I really appreciate the frankness with which you've shared your issues. You've always been one of the people I've had in the back of my mind to ask sheep questions of (once we got sheep). That will be a ways away, still, but I will remember your great generosity in this forum in any case.

Travis,
As others in this thread have illuminated, cancer can be cured. But you must change all the things that led your cells to rebel in the first place. You must change.
If I were in your described situation I would sell that farm and move somewhere more hospitable. North Carolina, Hawaii, Mexico(take the cure), Costa Rica, a healing community in California or Tennessee.
Get your women to work on investigating how to get you the REST you need. The fatigue is a message.
I wish you the very best. Peace.

Travis, while I agree with most of what the folks are sharing about clean living and fresh foods, I do want to warn you away from a woman named Hulda Clark. Her cancer cure was a scam, she also emptied her patients bank accounts.  I
With a federal warrant for her arrest as a deadly con artist, she fled to Mexico. Even Mexico shut down her clinic there. She herself eventually died of Cancer (so much for her cancer cure).  After my sisters  double mastectomy, where there still cancer in her lymph nodes, she refused conventional treatments and instead followed this Hulda Clark's protocols. Some insane, like washing you clothes in Vodka, and 7 showers a day. A year later she skyped us to say she was Cancer Free! Six months later, she was dead.

I have reasheehed this so called Dr. and found many more families with the same result. At least one daughter tells about her mother's case, not only did she pass away, but this "Dr." empited their accounts of their entire retirement funds.  I just want you to
be cautious, about who you listen to for so called cures, listen to your gut.  

Josephine...thank you for the heads up, though I must say, since telling people about my troubles of late, I have been beseeched with scammers. I am not saying anyone on here, because that is not the case, but in person here at the farm. While I generally think people want to help, what they are offering would all benefit them more. It has ranged from me selling my land to them, to buying into some international gold scheme, to some essential oil pyramid scheme, to selling off more of my forest products. One day alone I had four people stop in at the house and want me to buy into something to "help me out". Jeesh. talk about wolves in sheep's clothing.

Not that I am not against essential oils, I use them a lot, I am just not going to buy into a pyrmid type sales method, so I do have some Frankincense on hand. I also have changed my diet pretty drastically, removing all sugar from it. From private messages (thank you) to replies in public on here (thank you as well), that was a huge consensus, so I implemented that diet change. I am close to the ocean here, and while I already consume a lot of fish and shellfish, I'll increase that as well. (Still cannot give up my lamb though) :-)


So I am not blowing anyone off for sure.


My medical team has also set me up with a Cancer Care Navigator that is helping me find the local resourses I need to get through the cancer and subsquent treatments.

Thanks so much for posting again, Travis!
I know that letter in red was from a while ago, but after reading it, I just had this sense of dread and fear for you. . .
I'm glad your medical team is helping you out.  You might want to ask about getting on disability, to improve cash flow.

I had an appointment with my Primary Care Doctor today. The Dr's confirmed that my cancer is indeed spreading, and that I will need a few more body parts removed. I am not looking forward to surgery, but it is one way to lose weight I guess. :-)

Overall things went well though. My Dr set me up with a lot of specialists so that the ball really got rolling on a lot of fronts; to an oncologist, to a surgeon, to a gastrologist, and finally a urologist. They are leaving no part unchecked!!

Getting appointments around here is a challenge, for sure. That's great that things are moving!

You have had so much to deal with in such a short time! You may very well also have the health-issue of depression, but I can't help but imagine all of these difficulties are creating a very compounded, complicated grief. Even if everything else were going well for you healthwise, grief can really drag a person under.

What you wrote is beautiful and raw. Have you ever intentionally kept a journal? Even if you don't ever intend to publish anything as a memoir (which as I'd said before, I think you have great material for it that people here in Maine, if nowhere else, would find interesting!), a journal can have real therapeutic benefit.

Katherine Langelier wrote:Getting appointments around here is a challenge, for sure. That's great that things are moving!

You have had so much to deal with in such a short time! You may very well also have the health-issue of depression, but I can't help but imagine all of these difficulties are creating a very compounded, complicated grief. Even if everything else were going well for you healthwise, grief can really drag a person under.

What you wrote is beautiful and raw. Have you ever intentionally kept a journal? Even if you don't ever intend to publish anything as a memoir (which as I'd said before, I think you have great material for it that people here in Maine, if nowhere else, would find interesting!), a journal can have real therapeutic benefit.

No, no journal, though I would love to go about the country and speak in churches in rural America and talk to farmers about the realities of farming, stressors and yes...suicide. The real question is, as farmers are we ready for that conversation? As you put it, "raw"?

...
Health care in Maine is just so difficult because you cannot stay with one branch of Health Care. My Primary Care Physician belongs to one hospital, while my surgeons, endrocrine dr, and specialists are at EMMC. They cannot send medical information from one to another so while my blood work at EMMC said my cancer cells were trending up, a scan 2 months ago in Belfast showed my cancer had already spread to my Lymphe Nodes. When I saw the Endrocrine Dr a few weeks ago though, she could not get the chart so she felt waiting and taking more blood tests was best. She had no idea how far and fast it had spread. So yesterday I was scheduled me for immediate, but not emergency, surgery which was good.


But while EMMC has the specialist Dr's...evey stinking one of them is a Locem. (A temparary Dr who is in Maine for just 3 months because we are considered rural here). That means they are from away and cannot understand a word they say, not to mention you never see the same Dr twice. In 15 months I have seen 5 Endrocrine Dr's, all out of the same office!


...

We talked about depression, but where my testerorone is so low, we are going to fix that ASAP, then do surgery to stop the spreading cancer, then take a look at other options.

The "other options" is interesting and 100% permie forum based.

Craziest thing, I won a book on here about Herbal Supplements from Dr Sharol Marie Tilgner called "Herbal ABC's". I am flipping through it, reading a few things on the Endocrine System because that is where the majority of my cancer is. On Page 364 I start reading a section (a few paragraphs long) regarding Mitochondrial Fatigue. Suddenly everything makes sense...

Now...I cannot say for sure this is what I have because everything else has to be ruled out as there is no test for this issue. BUT I have a unique situation that is very rare; my Pituitary Gland is shot, and I am loaded with cancer having spread from my Thyroid. The Dr's say they are unrelated, but I am not a huge fan of coincidences. Now I have tried not to hit Dr Google so far, but after 15 months of not getting better...maybe it is time to be more assertive? I go to quality sites like the CDC and whatnot, and everything checks out.

So I wait on presenting this to my Dr's. I do not want to have that as it is untreatable anyway, BUT if my other issues are dealt with first without luck, I know where to go look next. It all makes sense because the very first post of this thread I said the exhaustion was incredible. Well if I have Mitochondrial Fatigue (probably stemming from that life-threatening infection I got), I would lose 90% of my energy and be relying only on Anaerobic Energy for my cells.

As for Dr Tilgner and her book. I am not a skeptic, BUT one way police officers ascertain the truth is by asking questions they already know the truth too. When a suspect says that they did not know this person, or was not at this location, and the police know they were; they know a suspect is lying. I knew some of my issues can not be fixed with herbal remedies, it is nothing against herbal remedies, there is just nothing out there, and sure enough Dr Tilgner's book stated that very thing. No dancing around the fact...straight truth so credibility was instantly established. Now I can read the book with confidence.

Hi Travis, I'm new to the permies blog (though I've been a reader for some time, this is my first posting). My husband and I stumbled upon something on YouTube that you might consider. It is a substance called Carbon 60 (C60) and rather than taking on the task of explaining what C60 is, here is a link that explains it much better than I could: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_0FIxZUb1o   It's an interview with Clif High on Game Changers/ Sarah Westall. Clif High was diagnosed with an aggressive liver cancer and attributes his recovery to C60. You can find more information from a couple of subsequent interviews by Sarah Westall on YouTube - one with NASA scientists Phil and Max, and another with Tom Martin, owner/CEO of carbon60oliveoil.com  (btw the best place we found to purchase it).

I can tell you a bit about our experience with C60. My husband was diagnosed with neuropathy, a disease causing numbness, tingling, and pain - mainly affecting the extremities; in my husband's case, mostly his feet, and his legs, up to his pelvis. He was losing his balance and one doctor told him to start using two trekking poles to walk outside and a cane indoors. After being told by more than one doctor that modern medicine essentially can do nothing for neuropathy, we found the YouTube video I mentioned above. So we tried it (it's a very small expense to try it - even if one were to decide to use it on a regular basis, it is not expensive). After only a small, short-term dose, he has regained his balance and is largely pain- and other symptom-free.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Travis Johnson wrote:Depression. My wife thinks I just have this. Wifes tend to know their husbands better than we know ourselves, so who am I to argue. It could be true. For that that do not know I have cancer, but also had to stop working, sold my equipment, had my woodlot logged off and the logger stole all the wood. That is now in the court system for restitution. To pay our property taxes we sold off our flock of sheep, at the same time we found out we lost an unborn baby, and finally that my cancer is spreading. Quite the lumps the last few months. Most of it I handled pretty well, until I found out the cancer was spreading.

Now...it is weird...I no longer "feel". I don't laugh, I don't cry...nothing!!

I know what is happening to you and what you can do about it!

Your last sentence is exactly what happens when the autonomic nervous system has a freeze also called anesthesia response. When there is too much, this response of the nervous system sets a protection on the body and mind and emotions, to feel less and not burn the system. I am 100% sure that the method of Somatic Experiencing will help you, and that you can also rebalance hormones and recover some immunity, because a freeze response neutralizes so much life energy that there is none left for some parts of the functionning of the body.

Sleeping a lot is also typical, for this same reason.

Please do not take any med about depression, they will not solve this! Again, I am 100% sure of what I say because I really know what i am telling you about, and this can save you and make you recover your energy and your fighting strength! It is not woowoo stuff, I have seen what it does, as long as you find a practitionner that is good. What you are living is enough to cause some serious shock and disregulation to the autonomic nervous system, and this gives you the same sort of symptoms as any other type of traumatic experience.

https://irenelyon.com

https://traumahealing.org/

https://www.integralsomaticpsychology.com/

It is meant to work first on shocks, for regulating the nervous system. When we are not in the "rest & digest" state, well, the immune system cannot work properly, and you need your immune system NOW.

Now that I have read more of the story... Keep your lamb! About mitochondrial fatigue, stay paleo, and I would even have a look at the thread by Matt Walker and try the zero carb diet based on animal food. I have started it, because of what I had in common suggesting I could benefit from it, and in 1 month you know. March has passed and I am still on it. w3 months so far and I am recovering from fatigue + the online program of SE with Irrene lyon that I gave the website above.

I would not have suggested this diet if it was not from you mentionning that you go anaerobic, and this is what I have, for other reasons. You can still burn fat in aerobic when you burn glucose anaerobic!
More over, proteins are needed for hormones and neurotransmisors.

I would advise to go beyond blood tests and do a hair test from this lab: http://traceelements.com/ I did it from Europe! Cheap for what it brings...
I also have quite high iron, so I drink coffee with my meat....

You need stomach acid, and this goes low when we get ill or tired and depressed. In hair analysis, this shows as a low ratio of phosphorus. My solution was betaine hcl, and you can also go for high vitamine C therapy, and this will give acidity. Really needed, stomach acid is a physical base of health, and goes down with stress. You find tests that can be done with bakind soda, it is all on the web!

As I was not super ok with betaine hcl, it meant I had sensitive stomach, so I take aloe vera gel, from my garden... 1st thing in the morning. Then I munch on bitter leaes, dandelion and artichoke etc. Thsi stimulate! and also olive leaves are perfect for this. also heal the stomach along with the aloe.

I really hope this helps. i was coming to the forum to post about gel water, and as we need hydration, this will be of interest for you maybe too! An extract of the article: "We also know that people who are better hydrated have increased cell function, energy, and mental function." And it is not about drinking more! https://permies.com/t/87396/personal-care/purity/Gel-water-grow-water-real

Travis, it's obvious from the flood of postings here that everyone who reads this thread is sending a lot of caring thoughts for you out there in the universe.

I just want to mention one more thing, Joseph Murphy wrote a book called 'The Power of Your Subconscious Mind' and while I'm not necessarily suggesting that you read this book right now, there are basic principles of thought that can be put immediately into action, at any time. It's called "scientific prayer" and it truly works. Enlist yourself (first of all), and your friends and family to picture you whole, healthy, and strong. Scientific prayer is a powerful tool especially when it is used regularly, but even when applied only in times of great need it has been proven very effective.

Monni Kyu wrote:Travis, ....sending a lot of caring thoughts for you
... 'The Power of Your Subconscious Mind'
Enlist yourself (first of all), and your friends and family

Yes it will work!
I like the expression "scientific prayer", and it matches exactly what I have been talking about... It has been known for a long time, and it is scientific too!

The subconscious mind is equivalant to the ANS - Autonomic Nervous System - and it is the most powerful part of us, the chief of the orchestra, and has been dismissed as such by science. When you know what you do with it, it becomes very powerful.

By using friends etc, same as gathering our thoughts and heart feeling for you  in this forum, what you will use is scientifically known as the power of the Vagus nerve, but its ventral branch, that will balance the grip of the "feeling nothing" that comes from the dorsal branch of the same vagus nerve. I answered here and looked at the topic because you entitlted it "Vague" fatigue...  

Then the support of others must go on to support any sympathetic activation that will come out, as long as necessary, and by letting happen all that happens at body/physiological levels, including the physical discharges of the emotions. And the process must go on until full calmness of everybody, with a deep sense of connexion. This is the full process. It has to be given time, you cannot push the river, and it will unfold naturally. It is like when dancing and you do not dance but end up feeling danced...  

Though the word "thoughts" is used, it is not only about the mind but the heart put in the thoughts, and what is very important is that everybody must connect their body feeling created by thoughts and emotions. When you get together thoughts, emotions and felt-sense, you get the holy trinity and the healing can happen. it can be shaking, but with no fear, trust and human support to stand and hold the powerful energy, this can be done. It can be wise to not want to clear all at once but repeat the healing at this deep level several times, so that it is not shaking too much or too strong. It can really make people shake visibly, and this is showing the regulation of the deep autonomic level.