S Haze

Hi Chloe!

Thanks for reaching out and tremendously glad you enjoyed reading this!

And I am still single.  Other than that, farming and homestead work continues and is going reasonably well.  My youngest son is packing up to go to college too so I guess that officially makes me an empty nester!  

It sounds like you must be an intelligent and motivated person and I'm curious to hear more about you and all the potential areas where our interests might overlap or have a complimentary interaction.  I'll send you a message and perhaps we could talk soon!

-Scott

Hi Melissa!

It just so happens that I AM open to getting to know someone long distance, especially if there's a chance of relocating!  Distance is inconvenient but for the right person, and if it's not for too long, it could be worthwhile.  It seems like the people with the attributes I'm seeking in a partner are exceedingly rare!

And yes, you said it nicely, having a devoted partner in alignment will help all sorts of things.

I'll send you a message tomorrow and looking forward to chatting more!

-Scott

Giving myself a bump here.  And, sharing a photo from a ski trip with a couple friends and my two boys from back in March.  PLEASE don't make me get back on another dating site!  😂

Hey Ceres!

Thank you for the nice message!

Sounds like some great things going on in AZ and if I'm headed your way I'll definitely make the effort to connect!  If you're ever planning on visiting the midwest I hope you'll do the same.  


-S

Having a landline to me feels almost luxurious in a way!

One big reason I never plan on giving it up is having it as phone number that I don't need to guard as carefully.  It's on my website, I enter it into forms that require a phone number, and I can share it with anyone or any company if I don't want them to have the ability to interrupt me as easily as they could with a cell phone number.

Most obnoxious, unsolicited communications are through text so they're automatically filtered.  If I am home and the phone rings I can check the caller id.  Guess you do that with a cell phone too but the landline doesn't follow me everywhere I go!

All the preparedness stuff is totally valid too!  We don't have all the same risks for various types of disasters here in MN but having several ways to send and receive communications is always a good idea!

Hi!  I’m Scott,

I have a great life.  There are two grown-up /nearly grown up young men who call me dad and motivate me to always do my best.  One of them still lives at home.  My work is extremely important to me and provides me with a strong sense of purpose.  I get a nice balance of hands-on, physical work, time outdoors, and also opportunities to develop other skills like leadership, financial planning, project management, and public speaking.  There’s great potential to build something that will have a far-reaching positive impact on the landscape and community.  I enjoy connection with friends and family.  And, continually learning how to better care for myself and the life around me is exciting and rewarding!

However, it often feels like something’s missing.  When my marriage ended nearly six years ago I never thought I’d be without a partner for this long.  It was the most difficult and scariest decision of my life but it felt right.  Although I’m happy most of the time, the longing for closeness sometimes is intense.  I’ve tried dating apps (even though I stayed away for the first year or more) and I’ve met several wonderful people through them but not quite the right one, yet.  Making this post feels like a long shot and I’m hesitant to just throw it all out there on a public forum like this... but why not!

Who I’m looking for:

I have a clear idea an ideal partner and for there to be potential you should too.  Mutual physical attraction is important but having shared values and a similar vision is just as important.

For the best potential for a harmonious relationship a partner should have a growth & abundance mindset, some ambitious goals, and a positive outlook.  There are lots of other qualities I value and look for but these seem like the best ones to mention here.  I haven’t met a lot of other (single) farmer/permaculture-types who are really aware of their own limiting beliefs actively work to change them pertaining to farming businesses or working towards positive change that extends far beyond their own land.

I should also mention, I’m about to turn 44 (I guess??? I’m not feeling “old” at all!) and want to connect with a female partner around my own age or a bit younger.  

Permie-relevant stuff you might like to know:

I live on a beautiful 10 acre homestead along a river in Minnesota with a passive solar home, spring, livestock fence, and dozens of useful perennials I’ve managed to keep alive.  Maybe I’ll tell you about all the ones I’ve killed later!  There’s SO much opportunity for gardens and other fun and useful elements but finding the time to do it all (mostly by myself) is a challenge.  

There are currently 2 farming businesses I’m managing or co-managing.  One’s my own regenerative direct sale livestock products and the other one is a mostly conventional commodity-based family farm.

Ask me anything you’d like to know.  I’m probably staying where I am (geographically) but I’ve entertained the idea of having a second residence.  Not sure yet how that would work out exactly!  And, who knows!  Maybe I will move someday, for the right reasons, and if I can continue using my gifts to try to make things a bit better.  Freedom, in all regards, is super-important to me so I’ll keep moving towards carving out more of it, if I don’t take on too many obligations that is!

Thank you for reading!

-S

PS

For an individual or couple who might be interested in a summer residency arrangement in MN please get in contact!  Flexible options, willing to share my knowledge and resources!

Since this experiment began I think the understanding of how artificial light and its parameters like wavelength and flicker rate affect us has come a long way!  The image is one I've seen before and sums up why CFLS especially might be not-so-good for us as biological organisms.  The webpage I pulled it from seems fairly comprehensive and legit too.
https://iristech.co/blue-light-filters-ultimate-guide/

Both of these poems moved me to tears when I recently heard them recited.  They seem to fit well with the theme here.

The first is written by Aubrey Marcus and is inspired by Alison Nappi's: A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature, which is also copied below.  Enjoy!

A wild man is not a boyfriend, he is a force.
Can you love me in the blinding heat of a birthing star, when I shower warmth on distant moons?

Can you love me in the hole of the cosmic Black, where no one can reach me? Not even you?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me when I drag buffalo skulls through the dirt for days, to the rhythm of an ancient drum?

Will you love me if my beard hides the scars in my heart, from battles I cannot explain?

WIll you love me when I lack courage, when I am defeated, when I won't let you patch my wounds?

WIll you trust me when I smell of sweetgrass and sage, and when I stink of whiskey and sweat?

When I drink from the cup and play in astral light, will you anchor me to Home?

What happens when my words don't work, and I can speak with only my eyes?

Can you love me enough to let me go, without asking me where I'll be?

I am no poodle to lay groomed on a leash at your feet. I am the wolf that fetches the bones of truth.

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He's not built for animal husbandry. He is a force. He is a cause for an effect. He is a mission.

Are you afraid to let me inside you? Not just my flesh, but my soul. The wild man is neither burglar or vandal. I will not take anything from you. I will not trample on sprouting seeds or pick flowers as a trophy. I am the sun on flooded fields and the fire for tangled webs.

Don't be scared, lover, mother, maiden, crone. Take me as I am.

Even if I have the power to destroy worlds, I will not destroy you.

A wild man is a protector. A father. A warrior for all that is good.

When the chaos seeks to obliterate you, sheering your flesh from bone, I will hold all the pieces together in love, until you are ready to reassemble.

When your seas boil, and your winds throw cars at corn fields, I will wait patiently for you to catch my eye, so that both of us can laugh.

When Hell opens up the fiery gates, and sends all the cosmos against you, I plant my heels deep in the ground. I lay my shield low. My sword is sharp then, my love. The steel sings sweetly. With a smile, Hoka Hey! My last breath a farewell kiss. Today is a good day to die.

For ours is the oldest love affair. The greatest story ever told. Cupid and Psyche, Shiva and Shakti, You and I.

Same same but different. Would we have it any other way?

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He is a force.



Allison Nappi's poem:

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature.

But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I'm bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Can you love me then too? Can you love me under the starry sky, shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I call down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt to harden over all the pomegranate seeds we've planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and call them to the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid to step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one, she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild one if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky.

If you want to be safe, go back to your tiny room the night sky is not for you.

If you want to be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.

I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep out the cold.

I will leave you naked and biting. Leave you clawing at the sheets. Leave you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that only bloom when no one is watching.

So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.

There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use to make you great.

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.

She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.

She will see to it that you shall rise again.

She is the lover who restores you to your own wild nature.

Beautiful looking place!  It reminds me of church at Boy Scout camp only a hell of lot cooler looking!

Here's one photo of the "chapel" at Big Island state park in MN.

ADD strikes again!

The house work continues on and on and ON!  Smaller and more simple would have been really nice!  But life is complicated and messy, just like the bottom photo.  We have the needs and desires of loved ones to consider and then there's all the other REALLY COOL STUFF life hurtles us through.  It would be so nice if the house was completely done but all in all I wouldn't trade it for anything else!  Soil health initiatives on my family's conventional corn and soy farm, agroforestry, raising mangalitza hogs and cattle, and lots of other fun and exciting things have pulled me away from this forum and the at times from the house project.

Progress does continue though!  We've finished interior walls, prepared for exterior stucco, finished the roof and facia, brought the upstairs bathroom to 85% completion, and will soon completely finish the spare bedroom.  Over the next 6 months I hope to at least quadruple the pace of the previous 6 months.  This will be accomplished by keeping myself accountable, enlisting the help of family members and holding them accountable, hosting another cob workshop to wrap up some details, and putting my money where my mouth is by hiring some help from part-timers, handymen, and professionals.  Some of the finishing woodwork details can be outsourced and I've found a local who's really good with a trowel.

Halfway through the winter of 2014-2015 we started "camping out" in the new house, still cooking and showering in the old one but now this is our 2nd full winter.  The firewood supply is growing without effort so it must working! I think we're using about 2-3 cords per winter and it will only get better as we add efficiency measures such as thermal window drapes and seal air leaks around the ceilings.

Hope everyone who reads this finds their own personal best way to make positive impacts on the landscape!