When I was younger, I probably had a long list of "requirements" that at this point really don't matter to me. I've learned that a certain things I was willing to skimp on in the past, are really necessary. I think we all want healthy, loving relationships. What that requires is the same across the board... healthy boundaries, compassion, respect. The love for your partner to forgive mistakes, and the love for yourself to be willing to end it if you need to.
So... what do I want in a mate.
Sincere/honest/genuine-- he needs to tell the truth, and to use words to communicate, not manipulate. | I need to be honest with myself, and be willing to receive help, not just give it, even though it makes me feel vulnerable.
Common direction in life-- we need to more or less believe the same things in terms of religion, ethics and intended lifestyle. I can't "be one" with an athiest any more than I can "be one" with someone who likes shopping at wal-mart. If someone's not already pushing towards permaculture, any effort they make to do so for my sake will be temporary.
Mental/emotional compatibility-- I need a lot of quiet and I need those conversations I do engage in, to be meaningful. I'm smart and eccentric and interactions with people who aren't, are more or less like interactions with children to me.
Meets his own physical needs-- food, water, shelter etc. If I push myself I can provide these for myself plus one, but it creates a toxic dynamic. I won't watch someone go without so I need someone who will see to his own basic needs at least, so I don't overwork myself trying to compensate for his lack, and make him feel immasculated or whatever.
Willing to try unfamiliar foods/eat vegetables-- this may seem petty, but I invariably adjust my diet to match my mate's preferences for convenience. I get fat and miserable when I don't get as many vegetables and fruits as I need. Food is important to me. I like food. I like for my food to taste good. I get really sad and mopey when I have to eat pasta and bread all the time.
Chemistry and fun-- I like to go for adventures. Think hitchhiking, really long walks, traveling, traveling, trying new things. I don't find very many men physically attractive, which is really inconvenient but definitely not my fault. Luckily the ones I am attracted to usually are not considered good looking by most other women. The most important factors are hair color and noses. The funnier looking a guy's nose is, the cuter I probably think he is.
So... honest-respectful-independent-christian-permaculturist-traveling-smartypants-weirdo. Who likes vegetables. Who won't take it personally if I have to cry for no apparent reason. With a funny nose.
There are some "flaws" that I find endearing... impulsive assuming he's not violent/can control himself. Broke as a joke-- I don't value money beyond what I need to meet my basic needs. Shortness makes for good judo practioners. I tend to stay more interested in people who are little crazy. It's okay if the lake's a little turbulent, as long as it's deep.
I don't care if he can drive or not, as long as it's not because of unpaid child support.
Also I hate it if dudes who never post in the forums PM me. I hate it lots.