I just joined permies and oh boy, am I glad. Excited about Rocket Heaters and compelled by this thread all in one morning!
Brody - you are amazing for so diligently responding to everyone's thoughtful responses. If you happen to read mine, please don't feel you need to, but I do want to chime in. Some of this is a cathartic sob story and some I hope helpful to you or others. I am grateful to everyone who has added their own stories here. I cried as I read through them and felt much less alone.
I have chronic insomnia (if I get 3 hours a night I'm lucky) and am (touch wood) slowly seeing a light at the end of the tunnel after a 4-month mystery chronic illness and depression. I wasn't in severe pain like your wife, but achy joints and muscles. (I'm a 51 year young female who was very healthy, slim, and health-conscious). The worst of it all was the fatigue. I literally could not get up the stairs or stand long enough to shower sometimes. Then I developed severe stomach issues which resulted in not being able to go anywhere and loss of weight. I developed allergies to everything. I was losing my hair. Basically, my immune system was shot. I had several C19 antibody blood tests - all negative (even though I'm on the fence with that whole drama anyway). I am not vaccinated.
I couldn't work (self-employed), garden, care for my animals in the way they really needed, or keep up with housework. This made me even more depressed. The house became a disgusting mess - my partner couldn't keep up and I resented the additional overwhelm. I had incredible brain fog - like a black cloud of smog lived in my head. My partner is a naturopath but didn't really have the time to do the research that I did. As a former nutritional therapist, I had some key understandings but implementing what's best for yourself under these conditions is next to impossible. When you are that depressed and tired, your brain is not working right at all. You literally can't see the forest for the trees. When people would make suggestions to me, I could tell if they had experienced this same black fog or not, based on what they said. And it's a joke to tell someone who has zero energy to go and exercise. Period.
I went down many rabbit holes including:
- Mold (really scares the crap out of you and we likely have it)
- Mold avoidance (even scarier - you basically have to move to the moon)
- SIBO
- CFS (which basically means we don't know what the f$%! is wrong with you)
- Epstein Barr Virus
- Hormone testing of every flavor (highly recommend
The DUTCH test, which also tests cortisol/adrenals/etc. - if nothing else do this one)
- Lyme (I am positive for)
- Parasites
- Wilsons T3 Therapy
- Testosterone Therapy
- B12 shots
- High dose C IV
- TH8? Some kind of pot that isn't pot but crazy strong!
- CBD
- Demons!
- Many others
I'm currently going down the Peptide rabbit hole which sounds very promising for many things, including mold. If of interest, be sure to only go to a qualified doc, which you can find on this site.
https://peptidesociety.org/. I haven't done this yet but am considering it, now that I can leave my home without fear of embarrassing stomach issues.
I take Ambien on occasion, usually after 3-4 nights of zero sleep. It helps for that night only, but it doesn't solve anything long-term. I took Adderal to try to make it through the day - stupid idea for insomnia but allowed me to slightly function. NOT RECOMMENDED - it screws up your dopamine levels.
I feel like my para/sympathetic nervous system is upside down. Melatonin didn't help.
I STRONGLY recommend against Kratom, which basically does the same thing to your noggin' as opiates do. It is highly addictive and creates horrible withdrawals and a whole host of issues to get off of it (trust me, I know). Much of it is contaminated with heavy metals and, possibly mold. There is a quitting kratom forum on reddit for anyone in need or in need of convincing to not try it. I realize it can be helpful for people who are trying to come off heroin etc.
When things got really bad, I told myself that if there were no improvement in 7 months I would shoot myself, and I meant it. I was keenly aware of the toll this was taking on my partner who wasn't really doing a lot to help (he didn't know how, I get it) besides ordering tests that I requested and not offering to do the shooting of me for me!!! I felt very alone.
What I actually wanted and felt I needed was someone I trusted and respected to take charge, because I wasn't able to. I didn't want empathy, I wanted to hear this: "right, this is not good and we need to get it fixed no matter what it takes. I've made you appointments here, here, and here because x, y, z. I've done the research, spoken to these people, and want you to try this plan. I'm going to make you these smoothies every day, and we're going to hire a cleaner and someone to help with the animals. Your job is to receive and rest. When you're well enough, I'm booking you at (some kind of health clinic getaway) to help speed your recovery..." (you get the picture!). Note: I have contributed to GoFundMe campaigns for people who are going through hell, so if money is an issue, I'm sure others would do the same.
I am not suggesting the above is what your wife wants but boy, it's what I wanted and needed.
Here are some things I found to be compelling or helpful but, over everything else, the best thing to do is to find a doctor who really knows their stuff and cares. They are a rare breed for sure. My partner cares, but he is a primary care ND & too busy to really get into the weeds. Functional Medicine Doctors will go further and perform a lot of tests. Conventional doctors have no idea. Every doc has biases that have to be contended with and accounted for.
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EDUCATION/RESEARCH:
The Huberman Podcast
https://hubermanlab.com/welcome-to-the-huberman-lab-podcast/
Dr. Rhonda Patrick:
https://www.foundmyfitness.com/ (check out her smoothy recipes)
Mycotoxins and Chronic Illness Symposium (free) where they also discuss peptides:
https://spiritualgrowthevents.com/events/mycotoxins-and-chronic-illness-summit-2022/
A product I want to try and could help your wife is
Red Light Therapy. The panels are very expensive, but all you have to do is lay underneath it, which is what someone who is very tired would need. This guy on YouTube has done a lot of the research and there are scientific papers coming out about how it helps mitochondria. It doesn't hurt that it can also reduce wrinkles, apparently!!
https://www.youtube.com/c/AlexFergusdotcom
NMN with Reservatrol - research before buying. Helping me a little and helped others I know.
There are loads of supplements but you have to be careful - taking one can bugger up something else - best to do with help of functional medicine doc or a nutritional therapist.
Also, you likely know that gut issues can $%@ everything else up.
If you have room on your property and wife is willing (maybe include some extra special touches, a massage, etc.), consider pitching a tent away from the house to stay/sleep in for a few nights to see if it helps. Not only do you get away from the possible mold, but also the EMFs etc. Make it a really special and sweet, no-pressure-on-her, relaxing evening where she isn't expected to do anything whatsoever.
Finally, this is so very hard on both of you. Couples or individual therapy might be very helpful too. I have a recommendation for someone I just started with - he offers free consults and is a spiritual, down-to-earth, wonderful human being so PM me if interested.
To everyone's well-being in this wild, wild world.
xoxo