Sorry, but your family member does not know
enough about RMHs to understand how they actually work. Two major reasons you don't see RMHs all over are that they are generally a DIY fixture and people willing and able to take on a
project like this are not common; and being rare, insurance companies and building code officials often are unfamiliar with them and so afraid of them. A big point to remember if you need to talk to insurance companies or officials is to never say "rocket mass heater", but refer to your "masonry heater". Those are still rare, but have centuries of European history behind them and a building code chapter that covers them.
In a J-tube, the wood does stand vertically with the draft rushing down around it, then the fire goes horizontally for a short way and turns vertical to complete its combustion. The riser gives a big push to the draft as the fire rises, and when it reaches the top, the fire is finished, there is no more combustible gas to burn, and the exhaust gases fall down as they cool. The original style with ducts in a mass bench gives its heat to the mass around the duct. The more recent style called a "bell" features a hollow masonry box with the combustion core inside it. The hottest gases rise to the top, give up heat to the box, and fall as they cool, until only the coolest gases exit the bell from the bottom to the chimney.
Hot air or
water rises, but radiant heat goes in all directions equally. The super-hot gases at the top of the riser cool and become denser as they drop, whether to bench ducts or in a bell.
The RMH core design burns every bit of combustible gas including the creosote, so there is no creosote to condense.
You will want firebricks, from a few dozen to a couple hundred depending on what exactly you build. If you find a really good sale, you might want to buy all you can afford in that range.
For your particular house, it does sound like a 6" batch box with a bell would work very well. If you want to start with an 8" J-tube, my
experience is that a well-drafting 6" metal chimney will still work fine. The hot gases in the 8" core will be much, much cooler, denser, and take up less space as they move through the chimney, so I find there is not a bottleneck. If you later build a 6" batch box, your chimney will be sized right. (Experience indicates that the output of an 8" J-tube and a 6" batch box are similar.) With a loft and some two-story space, I think a vertical bell (taller than wide) on the main floor would be ideal. About 3' x 3' x 6' is a possible rough outline. If you want a warm bench too, that can be part of the bell system. What sort of basement do you have? One thing about a tall bell is that it concentrates the load, so will require actual footings, while a low bench can often be spread out over many floor joists and not require any extra footings.