Like the title says, there are times when I want to live off grid, far away, have no neighbors and be so remote that I can't possibly have any responsibilities to anyone but myself. But really I get this way when all of life's other demands pour in on me. My school year has started--very well I might add--but my time of course is more limited than during the summer and I have to do some tedious chores like planning lessons (administrators like to see these things posted online--it makes them look better). Naturally I have to grade, which is not so bad, but it is something that I have to do on a timely basis or someone gets tied in knots. I am not complaining, not one bit. But the sum total of all the little tedious chores is what grinds on my nerves. Actually teaching is in fact very rewarding and entertaining. Disruptions, when they happen, are kind of exciting! Its the day-to-day that makes me want to disappear into the wilderness and never come back.
But of course, that is a false hope--a daydream that lacks context and ignores the real fact that no matter where one goes, there will be tedium there no matter what. Chores must be done. And the reality is that I thoroughly community, especially my wonderful neighbors. And many of those irksome bills--like power--are cheaper that going through all the hoops to make my house solar--but if you can make yours affordably go solar and want to do so, then by all means don't let me stop you!! Also, I don't really want to drill a well (though there are times when I want to back up my houses water supply). And while I still have the rugged dreams of trudging off across wild land, my wife doesn't share these dreams and I am more attached to her than these dreams.
So in the end, I am very happy with the life I have. I love my house in the country with 9 acres. I love being able to use the tractor to care for the land, and I love that I have an absolutely wonderful neighbor who eagerly helps with me in so many projects, especially mechanical ones (we really had an adventure adding in hydraulics to the tractor this summer!). And while my wife does not want to do the deep forest off-grid homesteading of which I sometimes dream, she is a small town/country girl at heart and we love our home together.
To all those who want to truly go off-grid and make a life of it, go for it! There will always be a part of me that envies you. But I accept that while that spirit is a part of me, so is the part of me that needs community, neighbors and appreciates all of the little things that these people bring. So while I dream of emptiness when I get overwhelmed with minutiae, when the day is done I am really happy with all of the decisions and compromises that I have had to make. Many of Permies values can be interpreted as a sort of extreme that rejects most social norms that we may forget that these same values can merge, interlace, interact, and indeed, compromise with the values, resources capabilities and opportunities that we all have. No individual can possibly do everything, but we all can take little steps, be happy and enjoy life's opportunities--and indeed, promote Permies, just by doing what we can with what we have when we have it.
These are just a few thoughts that I had as I was sitting and watching students work on an assignment today and I had a moment to myself. If these words give you and hope, bring any calm, promote any positive activity for you, then great. If not, then please disregard.
Eric