G.W. Farnum wrote:She thinks that the soap products we use are doing this. ...
Any suggestions on what I should do?
I feel she is right that this problem is being caused by the soap products, though I am not sure how to advise you there.
Maybe looking at the soap product to find the ones causing the problem and switch to something else.
I know nothing about grease traps. Would one catch the grease in dishwater? Or Soap scum in the shower?
Could the scum be caused by hard water? If so maybe a water softener would help with the problem.