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What's Your Mind Like?

 
Posts: 38
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Like mindedness is generally something people add themselves, like going for walks, and watching movies. They're not the same as filter. That is what people write about themselves in their personal profile so one might encounter that at any dating site.

Most of us participating in this thread agree that idating site profiles are often time incredibly vague and not super helpful in getting much across about themselves and that the very commonly used term, "like minded" , when used in those context is ambiguous especially in the absence of a description of their mind or what precisely is meant by that term to  them. You seem to disagree with that but are leaning on the filter system which is not what any of us are refering to. Maybe to some degree that is due to the like mindedness or not like mindedness factor that we are talking about? Maybe not.

The subject of dating sites, and the average profile on them being vague and ambiguous did come up, but I think the topic and spirit of the thread are more of an intellectual discussion of the concept of "like mindedness" and whether or not that even exists, and if using that term in searching for a mate, or partner s an effective way to truly find someone who meets your expectations for a working relationship.

Maybe it is the case that more intellectual, in their head types of people who are looking for a long term relationship with a single partner and who don't otherwise like going on lots of dates find the average dating site profile to be vague at best, and misleading at worst, but that people who aren't that way, and aren't.lookingnfornthat find them incredibly useful at finding a date, and giving better odds of that date not ending terribly in a political argument.

It could be that only misfits and oddballs looking for true compatibility understand how absurd that that term can be, and that the less of a misfit or oddball you are the more the term like mindedness simply means things like political affiliation.

Certainly clicking on boxes to weed out people who smoke or don't smoke, who have political or religious views that violently oppose your own are a good idea but that in no way means they are like minded with you, and again, what does like minded mean? Does it mean subjective content? Fleeting opinions? Habitual behaviour? Cognitive faculty? It can mean a gazillion different things and each person leans on that cliche' for their own reasons. If you look at the success rate of finding a long lasting relationship for people who put that in their profiles, I'd be Will ng to bet that despite it's popularity it does not seem to work in bringing together a lasting relationship.

You can use filters like trump supporter or not, but using those filters does not make a match or even mean the prospective matches will be like minded.

Even this forum as a dating site filters out people of certain cultural persuasions, and brings together a group of people who share in a lifestyle and culture but in no way guarantees that people would be like minded.

Were all into, or interested in permaculture. There are people who are both liberal and conservative  and so many other opposing polarities and different mindsets, work ethics and persuasions.
To say you are looking for someone who is like minded really only means something to your self. If you have thought it out thoroughly, and know precisely what that means to yourself it would only be effective to spell out what that means and ditch the term altogether.
 
pollinator
Posts: 1071
Location: Southern Oregon
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Seth - I agree with you that like-mindedness is vague. My experience with that term is whether or not someone is willing to date someone with extremely different values, I'm not, others are.

I was involved with an Aspy man, his term not mine, who said that he was looking for someone who would really understand him, I said why would you think you would ever find that. I wasn't being unkind, but I don't think that anyone really understands anyone else and such endeavors are futile.

I know that I'm not willing to put up with much, therefore I'm willing to accept being without a primary partner. In my experience, people put up with way too much so as to not be "alone", regardless of the fact that their partner isn't really there for them. If I'm going to be lonely, I prefer I do it alone.

Those filters are meant to exclude not promise.
 
pollinator
Posts: 223
Location: SW Ohio
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Stacy Witscher wrote:My point is that most dating sites have better filters than “like mindedness”, if the site you’re on doesn’t, find a better site.


I always end up with "your search returned zero results, try removing some filters" and I only had one or two filters, huge age range and very wide area search. There aren't really that many sites with a fair number of people active on them, and it varies regionally. I've tried almost all the mainstream sites/apps (other than the ones that charge $50 a month) with depressing results. I just end up getting fatigued either wading through profiles that aren't really narrowed down to a manageable/appropriate subset, or else trying endless combinations of filters to try to find the one man within 200 miles who doesn't think spraying agent orange on their lawn is a saintly deed.
For example my search might go something like this:
Age range: 30-50
Distance: 200 miles
Smokes? No
Drugs? No
Interests: Gardening
Hit enter
Sorry, your search found zero results! Try removing filters.
 
Posts: 43
Location: New Mexico
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I hear Ya, now add living out in the middle of nowhere  and off grid, in a Tiny home, they all think I'm crazy... Lol.
 
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