how to format towards an ebook (and a printed copy)?

What Leigh said!

There are paid services authors use to deliver ebooks (I use Bookfunnel), but they wouldn't be needed for a simple pdf ebook. They're for more complicated things like getting epub formatted ebooks past the Amazon blocks and onto readers' Kindles.

If you have a Google account (everyone with a Gmail address does), that gives you access to a chunk of Google Drive. You can upload the pdf, then get a link to share that lets anyone with the link see and download a copy. Or other cloud storage services like Dropbox offer a free account that would be plenty enough for something like this.

thank you Leigh and Jane!

I have not gone any deeper into google other than my email so have never tried the 'drive' although I see it offered when I try to attach something too large.  I thought all of those google extras were a whole different account from my gmail? will check it out.

I put a lot of things on a thumb drive but for loading on a phone I use an adapter that doesn't work with our other phone so figured that everyone might not have one?

A printed copy is starting to sound easier but when I took the bit I had done to our local print shop it was $12 for just 30 pages printed front and back...I had it done just to get a clue what it might look like and it's ok but only a fraction of what I would like to do.

I don't want to get bogged down and sidetracked from the project itself but I've let myself get confused about the final outcome.

To use Google Drive, you just sign in with your usual email sign in. A pdf delivered that way is likely to be the easiest option, because anyone with internet access, even on an older device, can see and download it. They don't have to have a Google account, you can set it to permit anyone with the link to access the file.  That's totally the easiest way to get big files to people.

If you want hard copies, provided it has a black and white interior, using Amazon or Draft 2 Digital print on-demand, purchasing discounted author copies, then unpublishing it would likely be cheaper than a print shop. Even full colour might be, too! If you tell me the page size, expected page count, and if you want B&W or colour, I can look up a guesstimate for a paperback price. You could also leave it published if you chose that option and relatives who wish could buy it. But the challenge going this route rather than print shop is that the formatting is trickier. If you already set it up with mirrored margins, etc, the tricky part might be already done!