A Typical Day

Plumbing in the well house was leaking
Damn
Due to the additional load and wear the contactor switch went belly up
Shit
Went to make coffee
Hell Yeah
No fucking water
Jesus H Christ
Looked at well, switch is smoking
FUCK
Look for parts, got some, need some
Damn
Look for tool, can't find cutter
PINK WHISKERED CHRIST
Go get parts and tools
grumble grumble
Kneel down to dissassemble busted parts, learn that the leak has been going on for quite a while and have promoted growth of brambles
WEEPING JESUS ON THE CROSS
Wrench slips, bust pressure guage
GAWDAMMA
Throw wrench, lose in brambles
FUCK IT
Go get parts and tools
grumble grumble
Put on male adapter, cross threaded, destroyed
Fuck You, Bitch. I got another one.
Pun on male adapter, works, install remaining plumbing, new contactor, new guage, flip breaker on, water blowing all over the place, cement did not hold in a spot
For Chrissakes
Cut out a section, install new parts, turn back on, plumbing holds but water gushing from faucet that was hit and opened when old wrench slipped.
Fuckin God Damn
Tighten the bushing, everythig working right, pressure holding. Throw all remain parts, tools, materials into the brambles.
I Fucking hate carpentry work.

Oh Look...it's Beerthirty!

I had no idea that Jesus's middle initial was H. I wonder if he was named after Herod the Great.

I always understood that the H was for Holy, but heck if I know! I've had days like that fer sure.

I always feel like as soon as I fix one thing, two more things break. I now have many broken things... and a few fixed things.

Job Security!

Now the flusher is running.
For no reason.
This vexes me.
I'm terribly vexed.

Looks like an obstruction in the fluidmaster. It's not shutting off.
I checked the flapper, had some build up, got it wiped off.
Now my hand is blue.

I Fucking hate carpentry work.

I think that I found your problem: You need a bigger hammer !

The 4th Rule of Chaos Carpentry:
If it jams, hit it with a bigger hammer.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Hey, what happened to the Ken who built all that neat furniture ? I'll bet you'll like carpentry the next time you plan something from scratch, when you're not dealing with someone else's mess.

That's not 'carpentry'
That's FUN.

The recent bathroom renovation is an example of the sort of thing I face around here:
The door was old and tired, had a hole in it, had a 3 inch gap at the bottom, didn't close easily and begged to be replaced. The 2 hinges were attached with a couple of roofing nails, a flathead wood screw, a phillips head drywall. screw and a couple of 3" long Canadian head screws. The hole in the frame where the knob latch would fit was a piece of scrap wood that had been shoved into a larger hole. Although drilled to receive the latch, it was not secured in place, hence the trouble in closing the door. Before installing the new door, the old door and frame had to be removed entirely. To remove the frame I had to remove the beadboard on the wall in the hallway. Before that could be removed, I had to remove the inadequate/unsightly trim board at the top. The ceiling dropping a couple of inches explained why that board had been installed.
The water heater was in the corner. Bathtub on one side, toilet on the other. There is an access panel on the outside. This was in surprisingly excellent condition except the thermostats were pointed away from the access panel. It wanted to be moved to a new location-a new closet behind the door. Disconnecting the power was easy enough. It was a bare wire running across the ground and through a bush. The plumbing was another story. The inlet side was galvanized pipe, later connected to PVC. The outlet side was CPVC, later connected to copper going to the tub and a grey tubing to the sink. There was no overflow pipe. The CPVC came off easily, what with the crack in it and all. My foot went through the rotted floor while moving it. To reconnect new plumbing, the galvanized adapter had to come off. The scene here is me standing on top of the tank while a buddy tried to wrench it off with the aid of a 5 foot iron bar. It was like we were dancing.
The tub was a masterpiece. The crack in the bottom combined with the leaky faucet and broken handle to inspire the renovation in the first place. Floor: gone. Drain: flowing freely onto the ground where the drain line had snapped off centuries ago. I did not mind removing the wall covering as it too was cracked plus covered with several applications of caulking-latex, silicon, I swear some of it was plumbers putty. Under the plastic surround was another layer of plastic surround. Under that, a layer of masonite. Under that was 1/4" painted wood panel, possibly original. Removing the tub was a simple matter of cutting it in half with a sawzall. It was a shame to cut it up, coulda used it for growing carrots. Floor: nonexistent. Joists: half gone. Wall: studs were well on their way to becoming humus. Since I have to perform major repairs on the wall, may as well replace that window while I'm at it.
The window came out with great ease. That is, once I removed the exterior trim and 2 sheets of exterior siding. I could have driven my truck through the side of the house. Cleaning up all the insulation blowing across the yard only took a couple of hours once it stopped raining.