Guilding the love of your life: permaculture as a couple

This thread is for all of us who have come home with a new-found enthusiasm for permaculture, to be greeted by our partner/spouse/significant other with a "yes dear" or "whatever, but don't tear up the grass" response to our dreams of dredging the yard for swales, planting 27 new kinds of strange foodstuffs, and a long list of of "honey-dos."

MY DH has been great, actually, but he will be the first to admit that I'm leading the charge while he is busy being a famous scientist in his world. So sometimes the communications get disconnected. Just last weekend, I asked him to plant the tomatoes I'd raised from seedlings. He loves tomatoes and happily set off. We have three beds with trellises that I rotate between peas & beans, cucumbers and tomatoes. We have had a ton of rain and little time to weed, and have remnant alfalfa everywhere, so he gets out the weedwacker to clear things off. I'm in a different part of the garden planting basil. You see where this is going right? I look up just in time to see him finish string trimming the peas....so happy to have room for all the tomatoes. What could I say?

(Remember the old political joke about inside words and outside words-there's a lot to be said for marital harmony in mastering the difference)

What I ended up saying, after explaining what he had done, was that I always wanted to try fall peas and that they'd probably work better with our long fall weather.

Your turn to share the comic, bewildering or sublime stories of converting your life partner to this crazy lifestyle called permaculture.

Communication does seem to be the sticking point. Here's my post from the shiitake thread:

Last year I wrested control of the shiitakes from my non-permie husband & we had our best year ever. I'm a little more systematic then he is, but he is a better "do-er" in general. Maybe I need to look for a marriage thread? Tips for harmony with your non-permie spouse.

I carefully put all of our non producing logs to the right of the culvert of our small creek. A month ago he helped me out by tossing a bunch of productive logs in the same spot. Arrrgggghhhh!

Luckily, they've started producing so no harm done!

Here's a tip, use landscape flags to mark special plantings (maybe that would've help prevent the pea decapitation?) My husband always seemed to be walking where I planted a delicate sapling & he suggested I tie them with flagging tape so he wouldn't step on them. The landscape flags are quicker and maybe easier to spot.

My best story comes from a rather well-known Pacific Northwest garden guy. He used to be on TV a lot, and still has his own line of seeds. Here he is, Ed Hume:


(photo from the Ed Hume bio page)

I can't recall where I first heard that he said this, though I think it's rather brilliant. These are probably not his exact words, just my best recollection.

When pruning a tree you need at least two people.
One person up in the tree, or on a ladder, doing the pruning.
One person on the ground, looking at the overall shape as a guide.
These two people should never be husband and wife!



So yes, there can be challenges with relationships and gardening or permaculture!