End of life philosophies

We have an Australian Shepherd who is probably in his last year of life.   His greatest joy is running through the fields with his much younger partner.  Of course, he tends to collapse somewhere for a couple of hours gasping for breath and then resume his activities.  While we are making sure he spends more time indoors (even on those days he is allowed outside with a less active partner) we turn him loose a couple of days a week with his more active partner to run in the fields.  

To my wife and I, limiting him to stay inside would have all the joys of a nursing home.  We realize that one day his more active partner will return without him, but we see it as a quality of life issue.

I am curious what others think.

For us it has always been quality of life first and longevity second for our animals. Quality of life is different for each pet too. One of our ex-feral cats is afraid of going outside even in our 7 ft. fenced area, so he doesn't have to and we make his time inside as fun as possible.

Of course we want our beloved pets to stay around longer, but not at the expense of their happiness. I agree with your approach to the pup's final year.

Yes, we have a more timid dog from a shelter we team him up with about 5 days a week. She stays much closer to home with him….. as in she has found a good home and she isn’t about to mess it up,

My method:
1. Quality of Life
2. A quick, easy end when the time comes.

I would worry that a dog that didn't make it home is injured or incapacitated, and will suffer for days before passing away from dehydration and hypothermia. I would feel a moral obligation to find the dog and assist in the appropriate way.

Great. Now I'm gonna be teary for the rest of the day.

I believe that the best way to go (for any of us) is a swift passing while doing what he loves. I know that watching him every minute that he's outside isn't possible, but I'd hope to keep tabs on him from a selfish desire to be with him when it happens and a compassionate desire to be able to intervene if he's clearly down but lingering in distress. And I'd check the liquor cabinet to make sure that there's a bottle of good scotch on hand for the after-passing toast.

Hi Douglas,

You raise a valid point.  My wife is pushing for GPS.   While I see some value in it, I know dogs and cats well enough to know that if incapacitated, they will try to hide in brush, etc.  It seems likely that I could walk past him, even with GPS, and not realize he was there.  Anyway, the concerns you raise are part of the reason for this thread.

John F Dean wrote: .....While we are making sure he spends more time indoors (even on those days he is allowed outside with a less active partner) we turn him loose a couple of days a week with his partner to run in the fields.  

To my wife and I, limiting him to stay inside would have all the joys of a nursing home.  ....

As I and I'm sure many here have seen the effects of nursing homes on aged but previously very active parents, I couldn't agree more.

Hard to say where to draw the line, but my wife and I tend to let the pet decide how much to push itself to keep up with the others.  To a certain extent, if it goes too far and this results in cardiac arrest or some other fairly acute decline, then it has had the best quality of life up to the end.  As this forum is for dogs and cats, I won't extrapolate this philosophy to humans except to say I'm hoping for the end to come a similar way....doing whatever activity I'm engaged in at the moment and having the reaper show up with a quick and confident swing.

We do have the luxury now of having, when needed, vets come out to put animals down without having to bring the animal in to the clinic.  Some of those occasions have been pretty distressing when it's a critter still in its prime who may have developed severe and terminal cancer.  But having them pass on in a familiar place with the other companions at hand seems a probable comfort on some level.

Ours are house dogs, for their safety, as well as their preference. The little one would easily be snatched up by a predator, from above or on the ground. The other is a primarily house-loving, lazy sight hound, who is just unpredictable enough, fast, and way too strong, would see something moving, and be gone, likely hit by a car. But, if I had an aging freedom-loving dog like yours, I can't help thinking I'd be with your wife on this, and go with the gps. Even if it didn't get you 100% straight  to the dog, it would at least get you close enough to him to shrink the search area to a reasonable size, and you'd know he wasn't out there somewhere, suffering and alone, and could be at least spared from predators taking advantage of his weakened state. That would be a hell of a rough way to die.

Hi Carla,

I am in agreement with the idea the  gps does represent one more added advantage.   One point I did not mention, the younger dog will not abandon him.  Having said that, even though I have seen immense loyalty, of course I do not know if this holds in all situations.  But I have had visions of finding the younger dog guarding his skeletal remains.

I have complex feelings when it comes to animals, I think its the humanity in us all.

If there is a basic idea that guides how I want to provide to my animals, has been said in a prior post.

Quality of life.

Your dog, in this case, has been your companion for a part if not all of its lifetime. It has known you as a provider and has relied on you, and in turn has brought you joy and loyalty. It is an honor to be able to help our companions at the end of their life transition into the afterlife (or whatever you tend to believe in).

I have adopted as adults two prior dogs that had reached a point where they were practically blind, deaf, barely walk and had given me the indication it was time. Its hard for me to put it in words but you know when your companion of so many years does not have the drive. I've been though some IV therapies, steroids, and other things that were worth it. I do not regret when there is a will to live. The running through the fields sounds like there is still pep in their step, even if a break is needed.

I'm a big man, with broad shoulders, and I only recently have truly felt sadness when I realized the hound that I felt like I rescued as a puppy only yesterday is in fact six years old. I am all she knows and I have grown with her as well. Seeing this thread felt like a gut punch and I'm a little teary thinking about all this! It is a joy though, life and all that. Its the experiences that we accumulate.

I'm going to go feed my dog bad food and go out and run around the garden with her. God bless dogs man.

John F Dean wrote:Hi Carla,

I am in agreement with the idea the  gps does represent one more added advantage.   One point I did not mention, the younger dog will not abandon him.  Having said that, even though I have seen immense loyalty, of course I do not know if this holds in all situations.  But I have had visions of finding the younger dog guarding his skeletal remains.

Another reason to go with the gps,imho. If he is that loyal, it could put his safety at risk, too - especially if he won't leave his dying friend's side to hunt for himself. The combination of the gps & a loyal friend might mean not only less time to find them, but also a healthier situation, both physically and mentally, for the surviving wanderer.

I always wonder, in loving dogs and cats, and trying to take the best possible care of them, how much we do for ourselves, and how much we actually do for THEM.

I feel like I failed my big Komondor a few years ago.  It was quality of life all the way, she still ran powerfully up hill to patrol, though other times she clearly had hip pain.

I left her inside the cabin on a snowy fall day, and came home to find she had punched out the screen to get out.  This was the only time she was ever destructive, or did not cooperate with my instructions.

I had a hard time finding her, but heard her breathing.  She had hidden herself under some thorny brush, and snow had fallen on her and the brush.

It was a lot of work to free her from the brush, and she could not support her weight in her hind legs.  I used a cloth log carrier with handles to support her hind quarters, and brought her inside.  It wasn’t what she wanted, that was clear, but she came along.

I knew her preference was to be outdoors.  She loved to lie in the blue shady snow, preferred to sleep outside, but I could not bear to leave her out when I knew she was dying.

In the morning I felt I had denied her a last night in the soft snow, with all the night sounds and smells, and the possible pain relief from the snow.  Possibly drifting off in her sleep into the mystery…

In the morning she could not walk, and I had to call a friend to come help me load her into the car to take her to the vet’s, where he put her down.

I don’t think we’re ever going to not suffer as the end nears, when we love and lose a dog, and I don’t think we will ever be able to separate what we do for ourselves from what we think we are doing for them.  I KNOW my dog would have chosen the snow, in fact she DID choose the snow but I would not allow it.  In that too, she humored me, and did what I wished.

The hearts of dogs, their devotion are such a gift.

I think we just do whatever we can. Probably , I would have done better to sleep outside with her if I wanted to make it easier in her.  She loved contact with me.  It’s not a rational time for us humans.  GPS is probably a good idea, but to what end?  Just to disturb the dog, and make ourselves feel like we are in control, when obviously we are not, else our dogs would never die😢.

Good question to ponder and discuss.

Hugs to all who love and lose their dogs!  XOXO

Our beautiful gentle lab, Brittany, springer spaniel cross turns 14 next month and is on a cocktail of non steroid antiflamatory, glucosamine and painkiller shots each month.

He still wants to go out twice a day for walks, irrespective of the weather, eats dirt and goat poo as though we never feed him, wallows in the swamp, attempts to play with our 18m old Cavie who torments him by biting his ankles and chewing his ears.

Our old boy, Dillon, gently tolerates the pesky puppy and will only nose nudge him if he tries to steal food and sometimes gets jealous if the little one gets more attention.

His arthritis can be so bad watching him gingerly lower himself to the ground breaks my heart. He has bowel incontinence too and the look of distress when he has an accident rushing to the door and not making it is equally heart breaking.

I dread the day that we have to the vet to our home. Am so grateful for each we still have him with us.

Tough times, Megan.  My heart is with you.

❤️

Megan, we've been in that situation so many times and it doesn't get easier. But you've given your dogs a great life and support when they need it near the end.

We used infrared treatment on our Great Danes and it helped a lot with the joint and muscle pain. Also, CBD oil or tincture is great for achy type pains and dogs do well on it.

John, please forgive me for not replying to your question, your post resonated so strongly with what we are going through with our senior dog that I felt compelled to share my experience.

I agree with everyone who has recommended a gps tracker so you can find him if he doesn't return after one of his jaunts with his best mate.

Our dogs have always been indoor dogs so don't have that extra worry of them wandering off on adventures.

Allowing them to continue doing what they enjoy is the kindest gift we can give them and knowing when to let them go when they no longer have an appetite for life and food.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, it is lovely to be able to share our feelings for our pets and not be ridiculed for being so attached to them.

Robin, Dillon had 10 sessions of laser therapy but can't honestly tell whether he was more mobile after the treatments.  We have yet to try cbd on him.

So long as he is willing to go out twice a day with us for walks and enjoys his food, we won't be asking the vet to come to our home for a while yet we hope.

We do want our young dog to be able to say goodbye, Dillon's predecessor Ben was 16 we let him go, he was a border collie spaniel cross and Dillon was two years old.

It really doesn't ever get easier letting them go, they become such an integral part of our lives.

Our old boy celebrated his 14th birthday with two of his littermates and half siblings in November.

Sadly, one of them died two weeks ago. Freddie had been battling cancer for two years and he had a bad bleed so his owners took him to the vet to be euthanased.

We are looking into acupuncture and massage therapy for pain relief for Dillon. The monthly shots are not as effective for either pain relief or reducing arthritis effects.

It's not easy watching them deteriorate, give your pets big hugs while you still have them.

We are ever mindful that we need to take his quality of life in mind over our pain of letting him go.

Our older dog is spending a great deal of time inside.  In good weather we let him out once a week for a couple of hours with his pal.   We do have a gps collar for him.  It tells us what we already know in terms of their travel patterns

An added benefit is that our Big Farmer neighbor has his property covered with wireless cameras and trail cams.   So, we have a clear understanding of their travels.  It seems they spend much of their time with the neighbors livestock…which is appreciated by our neighbor.

So, there are at least two independent systems monitoring our dogs.

Reviving this thread because... I think we're getting there, finally, with my old boy (going to be 14, vet says he's about 4 years past what we should expect for a pit bull/shepherd).
He's got major arthritis, recently acquired diabetes, and now is starting to have some trouble getting around (more confusion and weakness than pain, as he's rather heavily medicated). Just recently started having a few accidents in the house and is being a very picky eater.
We're not treating the diabetes (in agreement with the vet, we're not doing any more testing or interventions beyond pain management), put pads around the house for any leakage, and are making him the food he enjoys.
Once we pass noon his hind end gets lower and lower when he's vertical, but he still gets a spin outside to sniff things and to be standoffish with the dogs on the street. He can barely walk, but will try to have a go at anyone who comes near my gate and spar with the young dog. Just when I think he must be pretty much at the end of the line, he'll do something like jump his saggy butt into the open car, so we think hm, maybe he's still got some time left.

This dog business is hard. Thanks for sharing your stories, and John, I know your situation evolved rapidly but I'm glad you brought this up. My vet is 100% on the same page but it's nice to talk to other people who get it.

Just some random thoughts...

Dogs are pack animals and depending on the breed will have specific drives that make them well-suited for different "jobs."

Dogs get great satisfaction from having a job. If their usefulness isn't managed, they can take on destructive habits trying to fill the void.

Dogs are also social. When we keep them as pets, we become their pack. I think it is important to understand those two elements:

Their job, and their pack.

Those are the two main pivots in their lives. I'd pay close attention as end-of-life nears, because depending on the dog, they may prefer less "job" and more "pack."

If you can read your dog well, you'll know when they want one or the other. Accommodate them to the best of your ability.  If they want to be near you, no matter what you're doing, play along.  You should be able to sense when your pal has a hankering to feel useful, even at the expense of pack time.

j

MY dog has been through a lot. He's been shot, he's eaten glass and had to have his intestines pulled out, he's been to sea level and 14,000 feet elevation several times each, he's been to the most remote place in the lower 48, he's been to more states than most people. He's lived a good adventurous life. When the times comes for him to go, I'll do it myself. There's no way on Earth 'm going to pass that job off onto someone else. If he doesn't pass on his own, I will be the one to put him down and to bury him. I owe it to him.

Ah, James!  Not everyone is capable of that, nor would I try to be.

For me , killing a chicken is hard.  It is said that in order to be kosher, an animal has to be blessed at slaughter time.

In that I have to pray to calm my heart/soul to wield the blade, and I have tto seek spiritual guidance and support to do the job cleanly and well, I like to joke that every chicken Ihave ever killed has been kosher…. no offense intended here.

I do believe, though, that as an omnivore I am better off if I sometimes do the deed directly, with my own hands.  I require it of myself in the name of integrity.  It’s important to me that the fact that my life is sustained by the lives of other beings is fully acknowledged in a clear and present physical way.  Grocery store and prepackaged meat allows me to hide from that fact.

But thinking of end of life for a beloved canine companion, all my effort is going into the good bye, and accepting the nevessity of and responsibility for having made the decision.  I think in order to do the deed myself, I would have to abandon consciousness of the momentousness of the moment. It would be an abdication into dissociation.

It takes all my effort to be at peace, because I believe that is the last gift I can give my beloved companion and protector, as I face a future without her or him.

Those that can, do, I guess, and those that can’t ask for help.

Blessed be.

I know it won't be easy, but it's the only way I could do it. I can't love this dog his whole life, with his whole existence dependent on me, only to hand him off to someone else at the time of death. I owe it to that dog to take care of him even in death.

I have the similar plan with my wife (not to put her down if she gets to sick, of course). If I'm at all able, I plan on being the one to do all the burial preparations on her body, dig the hole myself, and fill it back in (if she goes before me, of course).

I think that may be the key, the hardest things we have to do the only way we can.  And if we are lucky, the doing becomes a kind of meditation and the action soothes us.  That’s my take on it.

I have to say I agree. Our vet is a friend. When the time comes, ultimately, it is me who is going to decide and call the shots (and probably administer the first sedatives as well, as she gave me a stock just for this purpose). Afterward, I've got a spot picked out for him (and it will be me taking care of that too).
This dog has come a long way as well, and is the standard all my future dogs will be held up to. He was a little mutt full of worms on the side of the highway when I found him, and has had a much better life than anyone could have expected (and probably better than any of his littermates). He would lay down his life for any of us, and being there for him in the twilight is the least I can do. (I'll add, in my family we've had a number of humans pass away recently, with suffering I wouldn't wish on any creature, and certainly won't let happen to my old boy. Everyone deserves better.)

I always try to imagine what I would want in their shoes...er paws. And for myself and my beloved four legged friends, I always think quality over quantity, always.

James Bridger wrote:I know it won't be easy, but it's the only way I could do it. I can't love this dog his whole life, with his whole existence dependent on me, only to hand him off to someone else at the time of death.

James, the first few times I read your post, I missed the part about “handing him off “.  I totally agree.  No way is it a time to abandon a dog!  I also stay present, hold my darling, stroking her head, talking to her, thanking her aloud, be near and be present as many ways as I can, imagining sending my soul’s love with my dog, and imagining her soul staying with me, forever.

I have a fair number of spirit dogs with me at this point.  When my 4 year old Belgian Malinois gets near the end, I have no idea if I will have the courage to get another dog.

 I wouldn’t want to die, and abandon a creature who loves me so completely.  My (current dog) Reba is so attached to to me she nervously awaits my return no matter how familiar, safe and happy she is wherever I leave her… and she doesn’t seem to improve in that as she matures.  She loves others, but would far rather love them in my presence than my absence.

I wouldn’t get another of her breed, and wonder if I shouldn’t have a dog partnership so that a new dog doesn’t have only me…. but hopefully that time is a long way off.

Here I am reviving this thread again. We're having the vet out tomorrow for my old man. He held on for another month or so, and in fact when I spoke with the vet on Sunday (she travels, have to schedule way in advance) I was afraid it wasn't the right time but now-- it's definitely time. We're spending a lot of time with him this week, although he's mostly not really "in the building" much anymore, I figure he knows we're here with him. We've never had this kind of ending for an animal before, we've had one disappear and a few sudden accidents, it's a different experience.
Nacho, protecting my garden in better days.

I'm so very sorry, Tereza... Such a hard thing... hugs

OK, so now that I've stopped snivelling like an idiot, maybe I can string two words together!  I am so sorry for all of you who are grieving for your furry friends.

Like many others here, to me, quality of life is uppermost, and every animal will have different needs at the end of a long life, after all, they are all quite unique.

When my beloved Belgian shepherd, Inca had a sudden massive stroke aged 17 last summer, I knew she would no longer have mobility again, even her bladder and bowels were no longer in her control.  She laid there unable to get up again.  She was such a beautiful, proud girl, her eyes told me: it's time!  I called the vet who came to our house and he very calmly put her down and she died in my arms while I gently stroke her.  We buried her in the garden at the entrance of the large bean tunnel - to the right.

Lita, our border collie aged 18 went shortly after and I dare say - of a broken heart.  She was lost without her life long companion.  Lita was a rescue dog who had been left in the mountains in minus temperature and no food.  Her greatest joy was to find the hottest spot on the hottest day and lie there in utter contentment.  Every day, before she died, I helped her to her favourite spot.  She died peacefully lying in the sun as she had done throughout her life.  We buried her on the left side of the bean tunnel, so that anytime I go there I know my girls are there too. I planted a lilac tree, peonies and daffodils on each grave as well as some strawberries.  Maybe not much of a guild, but this is what I had and what I like.

Before Lita died we fitted her with a GPS collar, as I swear she was suffering from dog's Alzheimer!  She was wandering sometimes with a bewildered look on her face and a few times, we found her in a ditch from which she could not get out of.  It would have been hard to find her without it.

We also put GPS collars on our 2 cats after one of them disappeared for 16 days and returned as a sac of bones.  We can only assume he got locked up in some house somewhere and we had given him up for lost.  We got the GPS because for us, the hardest thing was not knowing what had happened or where to look, there was no closure.   Had he had a tracker we probably would have found him sooner and shortened his suffering.  As it is, he hasn't been the same since.

So for me, definitely quality of life first, but also being aware of their needs and letting go even when I don't want to.  Oh, also:

And I'd check the liquor cabinet to make sure that there's a bottle of good scotch on hand for the after-passing toast.

Well. I'm afraid, here in France it is Champagne!

Hugs and prayers, Tereza