Location: Graham, Washington [Zone 7b, 47.041 Latitude] 41inches average annual rainfall, cool summer drought
posted 3 years ago
Today I was reminded of how frequently I find myself being misunderstood, expressing myself in well-meaning-ways but being taken to be doing something negative [be that making 'snide remarks' or 'guilting' or a number of other claims.] I run into this sort of problem both online and offline.
Does anybody on here have any guides or books they can recommend?
I have no reading tips. But I struggled with something similar myself. Somehow I always felt I had to explain myself again and again. Lately I realized that all I was doing was trying to convince people of my position. That never seems to really work. So I am trying to change that to trying to be of help. That means I have to first try and understand a position different from my own, and then suggesting a different look at it, while at no moment implying that I know better. If other people pick that up, I no longer see it as confirmation that I was right, but as confirmation that I helped the other person.
It's not always easy, especially not when I have strong feelings about a subject, and I find my way stumbling through it, but it does look like it helps me to communicate better.